Trader Hoes

This week, The Hoes are soft-launching pumpkin season. (Yes, pumpkin spice has been out for a month, but it’s finally “fall” weather in AZ. Don’t come for us!) We’re easing the transition into Trader Joe’s favorite time of year with a few new maple faves before tackling what should be an illegal amount of pumpkin spice. Helping us along the way are seeded grapes, a minimal amount of Scotland talk,...

Apple may not be the Hoes’ favorite baby name, but it just might be our favorite seasonal flavor. Sorry, pumpkin! This week, Katie and Evie are biting into new(ish) Trader Joe’s apple picks and pairing them with seasonal flavor brainstorming, Evie’s weird food-texture fascinations (again), and, to Katie’s surprise, multiple types of pretzels.  🛒 In the cart:  Juicy Apple Gummy Candy Autumn Harves...

The Hoes are testing out Trader Joe’s cream cheeses and questioning their identities. Will pumpkin spice reign supreme? Is Evie adopted? Find out in this very dairy episode! In the cart: Pumpkin Cream Cheese Spread Whipped Strawberry Flavored Cream Cheese Spread Peaches + Cream Cream Cheese Spread American Heritage® Cream Cheese with Chives & Onions

The Hoes are getting down and dirty with some new Trader Joe's cheese and Evie's nasal cavaties may never be the same. Neither will you once you hear Katie's take on butt vomit and mouth farts.  In the cart: Pink Peppercorn Fontina Cheese Paulus Abbey Beer Cheese Walnut Gouda Cheese White Stilton Cheese with Apple & Pear

This week, the Hoes are raiding the snack cabinet to try Trader Joe’s latest salty, crunchy, and sweet items. They’re pairing every bite with a medical professional’s opinion of the fiber gummy worms (RIP), one hosting move that could potentially ruin the friendship, and forcing Evie to choose a favorite between her Rolled Corn Tortilla Chip children In the cart:  Honey Mustard Popcorn  Rolled Cor...

We know you Hoes aren’t getting enough protein (Big Protein says none of us are), so we’re dedicating this episode to macros, convenience, and packing the most important meal of the day with maximum protein. We’re also waking up on the right side of the bed with the possibility of self-checkout at TJ’s, horrendous celebrity impressions, and hyperfixations.  In the cart: Tater Bites with Cheese and...

The Hoes are diving into Trader Joe's frozen desserts section and Katie's world may never be the same. It showdown of reimagined s'mores, butthole donuts, cannoli lookalikes and pre-workout cannelés – because that's how real athletes fuel up before spin class. In the cart: Cannelés S'mores Bars Mini Cheesecake Cones Raspberry Filled Donuts

This week, the Hoes grab their spoons and take a nostalgic trip back to college while diving into Trader Joe’s ramen soup cups. Katie and Evie pair these sodium-filled delights with our laziest “cooking” hacks, a natural yet ill-advised replacement for lip filler, and shoutouts to two of our most loyal listeners, our dads.  In the cart:  Miso Ramen Soup Chicken Ramen Soup Spicy Miso Ramen Soup

The Hoes are returning to Trader Joe’s baked good section where they’ve learned to keep their expectations low. Will these muffins be another disappointment or can these breakfast carbs win them back?  In the cart: Cinnamon Coffee Cake Muffins Strawberry Muffins Double Chocolate Muffins 

This week, the Hoes have a sweet reunion, made all the sweeter with some new Trader Joe’s confections. Along with these cavity-inducing treats, Katie and Evie admit they would be horrible witnesses to a crime, question whether frogs have ears, and describe (in far too much detail) the lifecycle of a Lucky Charms marshmallow.  In the cart:  Guava Tartlette Cookies Sour Confetti Chews  Hot Fudge Sun...

The Hoes are unwrapping some sweets treats and even sweeter lore from their local Trader Joes. Get ready for mango, passion fruit and possible hidden messages in the TJ's murals. In the cart: Dark Chocolate Mango & Passion Fruit Crème Thin Cups Mango & Passion Fruit Squares Milk Chocolate Sardines with Sea Salt Crispy Rice Bars

To celebrate summer, the Hoes are puckering up for some of Trader Joe’s new lemon items. They’re savoring both the sweet and the sour while indulging in the perfect nostalgia of wafer cookies, proof that Katie’s always been this way, the only edible necklace that would get Evie to a rave, and the bittersweet battle of perpetual technical challenges.  In the cart:  Lemon Pesto Sauce Lemon Wafer Coo...

The Hoes are hitting (overdosing?) their protein goals this week with Trader Joe’s finest cuts of pre-cooked, pre-seasoned and pre-sliced meat. It’s big, it’s beefy and it’s probably bad for Katie’s mushy heart.  In the cart: Gyro Slices Grassfed Beef Sirloin Roast Shaved Beefsteak 

This week, the Hoes are diving into all things stuffed. Cheese, cream, peanut butter, and more are all meeting in the gooey middles of these pocket Trader Joe's items. Once you bite in, you'll also find our envy of tall girls, Katie's possible past life as a mermaid, and Evie's weird-ass way of eating a pickle spear. In the cart: Uncured Ham & Swiss Cheese Pockets Gozlemes Crustless Peanut But...

The Hoes are on the road and throwing it back to the thing that got them hooked on Trader Joe's in the first place: charcuterie. This episode features olive appreciation, questionable meat nuggets and a potential cheese pinup calendar. In the cart: The Sheepish Tomato Parmesan Tapenade Antipasti Platter

Thanks to a special request from Katie’s husband, Salvador, the Hoes are diving headfirst into Trader Joe’s mush (overnight oats) and pud (pudding) offerings. Peel back the foil lid, and you’ll also find matching blood types and shirts, Evie’s overnight oats recipe, and some impeccable Vanna White impressions.  In the cart:  Vanilla Overnight Oats Strawberry Overnight Oats Peanut Butter Overnight...

The Hoes are on the road and testing out the RAVioli 4, which is either Toyota’s latest model of pasta SUV or an episode stuffed with Trader Joe’s ravioli options. In the cart: Sweet Corn, Burrata & Basil Tomato & Burrata  Goat Cheese & Carmelized Onion Chicken Sausage

The Hoes have hit the road for a little summer review retreat, and to kick things off, they're diving into a big bowl of mystery meat...balls. While they try to win the meatball lottery, sampling all three of Trader Joe's fresh chicken meatballs, they also make some truly troublesome food confessions and create an entire imaginary meat universe with a highly paid Women's Meatball Basketball Associ...

This week, the Hoes are getting a serious sugar rush from Trader Joes, including two questionable confections, a patriotic taffy and a strawberry candy so good, we’d sing about if we weren’t so afraid of getting sued. In the cart: Red White & Blue Cookie Bites Flat Taffy Root Beer Float Pieces Coconut Cashew Candy Clusters Strawberry Fields Gummy Candy

This week, the Hoes are taking a quick lunch break, but this lunch may very well break them. Katie and Evie are topping these sandwiches with some Trader No’s, the first ranking predictions, and an impassioned spit take.  In the cart:  Chicken and Cheddar Cheese Sandwich on Cranberry Seeded Wheat Bread Turkey Apple Cheddar Sandwich  Ham and Cheese Sandwich  • Spring Vegetable Tart

The Hoes are getting juiced - with Joe’s fruitiest of refreshments. We’re up to the gills in Guava and Katie is up to her in a full-body bathing suit. Not included: the drink umbrella Trader Joe loves so much.  In the cart: Passion Fruit Orange Guava 100% Juice Blend Organic Guava Nectar Juice  Sparkling Lychee Juice Beverage

We’ve got a special treat for you this week, Hoes: A peek at the exclusive episodes our Patrons get each month in our Readin’ & Eatin’ series, where we pair Trader Joe's snacks with our latest literary obsession. In this episode, we're descending into the chaotic, explosive, and high-stakes world of Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman. Is this essentially an absurdly violent intergalactic ga...

While the Hoes are normally pretty cheesy, this week they have reason to be extra sharp. Katie and Evie are slicing into four new(ish) new options from the cheese case, with unexpected results. In addition to the Multigrain Crackers, they’re pairing these dairy delights with pondering how Katie escaped Twilight, our new favorite alias, and the complete mystery of why Evie can’t say “paprika.”  In...

The Hoes are back on the baked goods and expectations are all over the place. From the neon shortbread to the tea time blondies, it’s a shelf-stable rollercoaster of sweet, sweet carbs. In the cart: Strawberry Brioche Style Liège Waffles Lemon Flower Cookies Earl Grey Blondie Bars

Time is a construct, so the Hoes are digging into breakfast for dinner this week. But why stop at challenging the self-inflicted limitations of time? Katie and Evie also question what can realistically (and safely) be car food, if humans really need silverware, and how long is too long in the microwave. In the cart: Breakfast Bowl  Tortilla Española  Spicy Spuds • Bubble Waffles