Sexy Marriage Radio

“How does that make you feel?” Four words. The most famous question in all of therapy. Not wrong exactly. Just incomplete. Because nobody ever asks the follow-up: what are you going to do with that? We live in the golden age of emotional intelligence. More language for our feelings than any generation in history. And marriages are not noticeably better. At some point it’s worth asking whether the...

She's been married eleven years. Three kids. A life she genuinely loves. And a husband who goes quiet every time they disagree. Not angry quiet. Just... gone. Still in the house, still doing the normal things, but there's a wall — and she never knows when it's coming down or what she did to put it up. She's tried everything. She asks what's wrong. She gives him space. She apologizes — sometimes wi...

Episode 800. Over fifteen years and eight hundred episodes, one of the consistent choices on this show has been to stay away from clinical diagnostic language — words like coercion, narcissism, gaslighting, abuse — even when those words might technically fit a situation being described. That choice has generated some pushback lately. And it deserves a direct answer. Not a defensive one. A real one...

A listener wrote in after last week's episode. He appreciated it but wanted the other side of the equation. His situation: he wants to do something with his wife that he considers well within the moral framework of their marriage. She says no. Complete sentence. So what's he supposed to do? Stop wanting it? White-knuckle his way through? Watch it fester into resentment? Those feel like the only tw...

She's been married sixteen years. Four kids. A husband who works hard, fathers well, and helps around the house more than most. She also has sex with him three to four times a week. Does oral sex. Anal play. Vibrators. Mutual masturbation. Sexting. She tried anal sex three times before deciding the pain wasn't worth it. She tried swallowing despite a genuine gag reflex. She stopped sending explici...

A husband wrote in after our episode with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. He appreciated it but wanted more on the man's side. His wife feels connected to him through sex. But 95% of the time she's not aroused. She has a good attitude about it. She participates. And then when he gets in the shower, she goes and uses a vibrator by herself — because she feels pressured by him to enjoy it when he's ther...

If you've ever wondered why desire felt so natural before marriage and so complicated after — this conversation is worth your time. Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a psychologist, coach, and fellow traveler in the Schnarch world. In this conversation with Corey, she names something most couples can't quite articulate: the shift from falling in love to being married isn't a sign something went wrong...

She's been married a long time. She's done the work — therapy, 12-step, forgiveness. The guilt and shame are gone. And she's been giving her husband sex twice a week for years. He knows that's all it's ever been. Her question: how do I get past the guarded sex, the pressure, the fear of never being enough? How do I finally be free? It's a good question. But it's not the first question worth asking...

Last week we heard from a wife trying to figure out if she can ever trust her husband again after discovering his affair. This week we're staying on him. All we know about him comes from her email. Four sentences. He denied it at first. Then admitted everything. He says he wants to save the marriage. He's been remorseful and answering her questions. That's it. And it's actually enough to ask the m...

A month ago she found out. He denied it, then admitted it. She still doesn't know if she has the full story. She's been talking to her pastor, her friends, anyone who will listen. Everyone keeps telling her the same thing — rebuild trust, do the work, give it time. She knows they mean well. But at two in the morning when she can't stop replaying everything, that advice doesn't tell her what to act...

A listener asked a simple question: is there such a thing as Christian erotica? They'd done the research, found some authors, and sent the links. But that's not really what they were asking. What they were asking — what most of us are asking when we frame a question that way — is: can someone just tell me if this is okay? Corey and Pam don't answer that question. Instead they go after the one unde...

He does oral sex almost every time. Toys every time. Bondage, spanking, dirty talk — all things he pushed through because she wanted them. She agreed to reciprocate. She hasn't. Not once. So is he being selfish for wanting more? That's not quite the right question. The real question is what the word return reveals about what's actually been going on. Corey and Pam unpack the difference between gen...

On this week's episode of SMR … This week's episode explores the deep psychological patterns that influence marriage dynamics, focusing on our expectations, meanings, and self-awareness. It offers insights into how understanding our shadow motivations and settling ourselves can foster healthier, more authentic relationships. The post What Am I Wanting? #790 first appeared on Sexy Marriage Radio .

This week's episode explores how life-changing events can serve as catalysts for personal growth and relationship transformation. We discuss a woman's journey from rejection to self-discovery and how she redefines her marriage after a betrayal, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and adaptive responses. The post Switching Roles #789 first appeared on Sexy Marriage Radio .

Frank sexual discussion ahead — this one's for grown-ups. A listener calls in curious about pegging. He found it through porn, and he's terrified to say any of it out loud to his wife. Corey and Pam use his voicemail as the door into a bigger conversation than one sex act. The source of a desire doesn't determine whether it's legitimate. And the real question isn't whether pegging is okay, it's wh...

This episode picks up from "She Knows How to Ride" (two weeks ago), shifting focus from the wife's physical pain journey to her husband's inner experience — seen through her eyes. The couple entered marriage with high hopes and open communication about their sexual relationship. But on their honeymoon, penetrative sex was too painful for her to complete. A year later, little has changed — and he's...

This episode of Sexy Marriage Radio Pam and I talk about the challenges of applying relationship knowledge in real life, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and system disruption to foster genuine change in marriage. Enjoy the show! On the Xtended version … We go through what it really looks like to make better self-respecting moves in life and marriage Let's explor...

This episode of Sexy Marriage Radio Pam and I talk about the challenges of applying relationship knowledge in real life, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and system disruption to foster genuine change in marriage. Enjoy the show! On the Xtended version … We go through what it really looks like to make better self-respecting moves in life and marriage Let's explor...

This episode of Sexy Marriage Radio Pam and I talk about the challenges of applying relationship knowledge in real life, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and system disruption to foster genuine change in marriage. Enjoy the show! On the Xtended version … We go through what it really looks like to make better self-respecting moves in life and marriage Let's explor...

This episode of Sexy Marriage Radio explores the complex dynamics of desire, intimacy, and past experiences in marriage, focusing on a couple's journey from swinging to a faith-based relationship. We discuss how desire, exhaustion, and personal values influence sexual intimacy and how couples can navigate these challenges with understanding and intentionality. Enjoy the show! On the Xtended versio...

In this Best of SMR episode we discuss common mistakes that married couples make when it comes to initiating sex.  There are dynamics of higher desire and lower desire and patterns that make these mistakes so easy to make. We cover six common mistakes: getting annoyed at being the one who initiates, using covert or roundabout methods of initiation, joking or crude initiations, feeling the need to...

Corey is celebrating a milestone birthday this year, so this episode explores the recurring themes in marriage, personal growth, and the importance of self-awareness. Join us as we reflect on lessons learned over years of marriage and shared experiences, emphasizing the value of courage, authenticity, and continuous self-improvement. Enjoy the show! Sponsors … Evree: Our favorite intimate product!...

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, Pam and I are joined by Gary and Lisa Thomas as we talk through some simple habits you can do this summer that will have impact on your marriage. Enjoy the show! Sponsors … Evree: Our favorite intimate product! Get 10% off every order with our code SMR - https://smr.fm.evree Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy The post 3 Habits To...

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, Pam and I explore into the complex reality of sexual lust, shame, and the unseen battles that many marriages face, especially those with a history of hypersexuality, trauma, or previous infidelity. This conversation explores what wives and husbands can do when confronting the persistent mental and emotional remnants of past struggles. Enjoy the show! On the...

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell joins me again to explore practical ways to deepen intimacy in marriage through everyday interactions, vulnerability, and collaborative decision-making. Discover how small, intentional acts can transform your relationship and foster lasting connection. Enjoy the show! On the Xtended version … We go further into the idea of compromise,...