Says Who?

Remember when we said there wouldn't be an episode this week? Well strap in Sayswhovians because not only IS there an episode it is actually RECORDED LIVE AND IN PERSON. In the dark, by a lake, with a rat. So, you know, a very Maureen and Dan live recording, captured while Maureen is out on tour for the Velvet Knife. Or at least trying to be.   Says Who is made possible by you, through your s...

It’s almost time for Maureen’s book to come out! She’s getting ready for tour. Someone took all her kitchen drawers and are tooth is exploding, so things are right on schedule! Dan would like to help plan. And also, tell her about Trump’s wonderful plans for the Kennedy Center, some art, and a beautiful arch full of snipers and drones. It’s fall 2026, SaysWhovia. Time to get weird.   Says Who...

HE’S ALIVE! Sort of! Technically??? Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Whoa! Dan can’t believe that it’s September! He has no idea where is in time! That’s okay. Maureen will help. These pictures of RFK and Vance chowing down on sauerkraut while Marco Rubio lurks in the background will help ground him. Probably. For sure all this Trump ballroom and arch talk will help. There’s so many details! Such thick stuff! Dan does not feel better. Get your dancing shoes on, Say...

Welcome to September, SaysWhovia! What a fall we are about to have. FALL IS RIGHT, right? And new war just dropped—this time, Canada! Sure. Why not. But Dan and Maureen are here to talk about coping. About protecting your mind and body and this time. This includes teeth, which cannot be trusted. It’s happening, so we’ll do it together, eh?   Says Who is made possible by you, through your supp...

Dan and Maureen are back and ready to rocket into the autumn of 2026! It’s been a spicy summer, and it’s we’re going into a fall that will break the Scoville scale. In the meantime, let’s catch up and hear about the totally normal and not at all weird person who follows Trump around with a printer in a backpack and feels normal things for him. We’re in this together, SaysWhovia. Says Who is made p...

Maureen has been alone for ten days with an orbital sander and a dream—a dream of a thing she thought would be easy and fun and take a few days. That is not how this went down. She needs to talk to Dan about it. Failure is fun! And important! And definitely what is happening right now! Dan is not surprised. Meanwhile, no one knows if Mitch McConnell is even alive, so who cares if Maureen can’t ref...

We’re back! Dan’s in California, going to Disney and living his best life under an orange tree. Maureen has been left to her own devices for ten days and bought a bunch of power tools. Time to think about the Big Picture—living right, climate change, does the Senate even matter, and how many times you should ride Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. It’s summer 2026. Time to do what feels right, SaysWhovia. Says...

Dan and Maureen are back! Well, to SaysWhovia. Maureen is in NYC. Dan is dragging a metal house across America and is a little nervous about it. Obviously, this week we’re going to talk about Which Senators Are Dead—a creepy new game that’s more challenging than it appears. We missed so many things on this year’s SHOES card. Come over here, SaysWhovia. Prove you’re alive. Says Who is made possible...

The Fourth of July, and America's 250th birthday, is this week and the vibes are off.  But it's OK because a good old fashioned state fair has set up in the nation's capital and it's going just great. Plus: pretty soon someone's launching nearly a million firework shells.  Nothing can stop us now. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Well, obviously Dan and Maureen are going to talk about the reflecting pool. Obviously. But also! RFK has pockets full of sauerkraut, we tried to invade Greenland for Red Lobster, and Maureen spills on a secret she’s been keeping for MONTHS! Just put your suit on, SaysWhovia. And maybe some protective gear. We’re going swimming. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon...

What’s that feeling in the air? It’s patriotism! We’re celebrating 250 years of whatever this is the way our wacky founding fathers would have wanted—turning the reflecting pool green, wrapping the Kennedy Center in a tarp, and having a cage match on the White House lawn. But it’s not even our nation’s birthday yet! It’s just a Big Boy’s Birthday and we’re getting some fun in early to celebrate ou...

Dan and Maureen are back after a brief and unexpected hiatus. Maureen has many things to tell Dan—so many adventures in England. This includes the new SaysWhovia Manor. Let’s ignore the news for a minute and hear about our future in the past, when we all get really into falconry and magick. Grab your staff, SaysWhovia. We’re going to the Misty Mountain. Says Who is made possible by you, through yo...

Hey SaysWhovia, there's a big vat of chemicals threatening to blow, a Ultimate Fighting Championships ring getting built at the White House, and DoJo's getting married. So clearly: It's our time. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Is it all feeling like a lot, SaysWhovia? That’s because it is. The UK doesn’t know who’s in charge. Voting rights have been jettisoned back to Jim Crow times. Trump is driving around in the reflecting pool. New virus just dropped. But this is a copying strategy! And those racist Confederate lovers are loser scum. Keep trying. Keep with your friends. Listen to the new Rebel Spirit! Organize your b...

There was nothing to talk about this week. Nothing at all. So Dan built a machine. A machine to write a book. On a week where nothing happened. You get it.   Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

This week, take a trip with Dan and Maureen to the weirdest cruise route (currently) in the world. Also, let’s talk writing! And why everyone has to get really drunk to be around Trump. And how there’s a war but it’s not a war and it’s won already but it’s about to start except it is over and the Strait of Hormuz is completely open but we’ve closed it and Iran has closed it and there’s a ceasefire...

Dan and Maureen have a new home! They just need to legally buy it and move in, but it is theirs. Dan is going to become a Druid and Maureen is going to make food and write spells.  Why not?  After all, this week: JD Vance destroyed the hopes of the Hungarian far-right and then tanked talks with Iran while Donald Trump watched a cage match. Donald Trump turned himself into Jesus and decided to figh...

Dan and Maureen get together on this Wednesday morning (a day later than usual) to break down the important things: Maureen’s new kitchen blind, a planner from Staples, possible nuclear war, mysterious fried chicken smells, the blessed air purifier, a head of FEMA teleporting to a Waffle House, and the power of commenting online. Considering the week we've all had, it’s actually pretty positive. D...

Dan has been out on the road working on his book and now he is tired. Also, he has not been looking at the news. But Maureen has a story that summarizes all he, and SaysWhovia, needs to know. Hold on to your butts, SaysWhovia. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

How’s anyone supposed to cope with things these days? The war? The chaos? The madman in charge? So many problems! Dan is worried. Everybody relax, because Maureen has an idea. Nice deep inhale, SaysWhovia. Everything’s going to be fine now. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

What’s that sound, SaysWhovia? Why, that’s the sound of tiny shoes and great big shoes—shoes of every size, tapping all over the White House! Special Correspondent A.C. Shoe reports from the remains of the East Wing, where there’s something afoot! Seriously, this week is terrible so we’re going to talk about Trump’s weird shoe thing. Step inside, SaysWhovia! The shoe might not fit, but wear it any...

Maureen has pneumonia and now she and Dan are going to try to explain the war, and also 2001: A Space Odyssey. This is one of those episodes, SaysWhovia. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Maureen is sick. Just a little sick! Dan wants her to back to bed, but Maureen has too many stories to tell…stories of princes, Lords of Darkness,  arcane rituals, and houses that cost a single peppercorn.  The UK is full of intrigue! Meanwhile, it’s all pizza and beer and war over in the US. Why can’t we get a magical house for a single peppercorn or have a prince that’s called the c***? Get cozy...

It’s Maureen’s birthday week! She’s spending it in her signature style—walking maybe too far, biting off more than she can chew, and organizing her notebooks.  Meanwhile, Dan has been enjoying a little summery weather in the middle of the cold winter. While he was out, he heard a story. He wants to share it with Maureen, because Maureen loves stories. And dogs. Maureen loves dogs. And so, apparent...