Says Who?

The Fourth of July, and America's 250th birthday, is this week and the vibes are off.  But it's OK because a good old fashioned state fair has set up in the nation's capital and it's going just great. Plus: pretty soon someone's launching nearly a million firework shells.  Nothing can stop us now. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Well, obviously Dan and Maureen are going to talk about the reflecting pool. Obviously. But also! RFK has pockets full of sauerkraut, we tried to invade Greenland for Red Lobster, and Maureen spills on a secret she’s been keeping for MONTHS! Just put your suit on, SaysWhovia. And maybe some protective gear. We’re going swimming. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon...

What’s that feeling in the air? It’s patriotism! We’re celebrating 250 years of whatever this is the way our wacky founding fathers would have wanted—turning the reflecting pool green, wrapping the Kennedy Center in a tarp, and having a cage match on the White House lawn. But it’s not even our nation’s birthday yet! It’s just a Big Boy’s Birthday and we’re getting some fun in early to celebrate ou...

Dan and Maureen are back after a brief and unexpected hiatus. Maureen has many things to tell Dan—so many adventures in England. This includes the new SaysWhovia Manor. Let’s ignore the news for a minute and hear about our future in the past, when we all get really into falconry and magick. Grab your staff, SaysWhovia. We’re going to the Misty Mountain. Says Who is made possible by you, through yo...

Hey SaysWhovia, there's a big vat of chemicals threatening to blow, a Ultimate Fighting Championships ring getting built at the White House, and DoJo's getting married. So clearly: It's our time. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Is it all feeling like a lot, SaysWhovia? That’s because it is. The UK doesn’t know who’s in charge. Voting rights have been jettisoned back to Jim Crow times. Trump is driving around in the reflecting pool. New virus just dropped. But this is a copying strategy! And those racist Confederate lovers are loser scum. Keep trying. Keep with your friends. Listen to the new Rebel Spirit! Organize your b...

There was nothing to talk about this week. Nothing at all. So Dan built a machine. A machine to write a book. On a week where nothing happened. You get it.   Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

This week, take a trip with Dan and Maureen to the weirdest cruise route (currently) in the world. Also, let’s talk writing! And why everyone has to get really drunk to be around Trump. And how there’s a war but it’s not a war and it’s won already but it’s about to start except it is over and the Strait of Hormuz is completely open but we’ve closed it and Iran has closed it and there’s a ceasefire...

Dan and Maureen have a new home! They just need to legally buy it and move in, but it is theirs. Dan is going to become a Druid and Maureen is going to make food and write spells.  Why not?  After all, this week: JD Vance destroyed the hopes of the Hungarian far-right and then tanked talks with Iran while Donald Trump watched a cage match. Donald Trump turned himself into Jesus and decided to figh...

Dan and Maureen get together on this Wednesday morning (a day later than usual) to break down the important things: Maureen’s new kitchen blind, a planner from Staples, possible nuclear war, mysterious fried chicken smells, the blessed air purifier, a head of FEMA teleporting to a Waffle House, and the power of commenting online. Considering the week we've all had, it’s actually pretty positive. D...

Dan has been out on the road working on his book and now he is tired. Also, he has not been looking at the news. But Maureen has a story that summarizes all he, and SaysWhovia, needs to know. Hold on to your butts, SaysWhovia. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

How’s anyone supposed to cope with things these days? The war? The chaos? The madman in charge? So many problems! Dan is worried. Everybody relax, because Maureen has an idea. Nice deep inhale, SaysWhovia. Everything’s going to be fine now. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

What’s that sound, SaysWhovia? Why, that’s the sound of tiny shoes and great big shoes—shoes of every size, tapping all over the White House! Special Correspondent A.C. Shoe reports from the remains of the East Wing, where there’s something afoot! Seriously, this week is terrible so we’re going to talk about Trump’s weird shoe thing. Step inside, SaysWhovia! The shoe might not fit, but wear it any...

Maureen has pneumonia and now she and Dan are going to try to explain the war, and also 2001: A Space Odyssey. This is one of those episodes, SaysWhovia. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Maureen is sick. Just a little sick! Dan wants her to back to bed, but Maureen has too many stories to tell…stories of princes, Lords of Darkness,  arcane rituals, and houses that cost a single peppercorn.  The UK is full of intrigue! Meanwhile, it’s all pizza and beer and war over in the US. Why can’t we get a magical house for a single peppercorn or have a prince that’s called the c***? Get cozy...

It’s Maureen’s birthday week! She’s spending it in her signature style—walking maybe too far, biting off more than she can chew, and organizing her notebooks.  Meanwhile, Dan has been enjoying a little summery weather in the middle of the cold winter. While he was out, he heard a story. He wants to share it with Maureen, because Maureen loves stories. And dogs. Maureen loves dogs. And so, apparent...

Dan and Maureen are easing into February with clear heads and warm hearts. It’s basically still New Year’s, so Maureen is talking planners! But in an okay way. She really has a grip on it now. The problem, actually—or the subject—is ducks, and their organization. Sometimes, you just have too many! Speaking of too many—there are too many Epstein files and too many terrible things in them, but in so...

So it turns out Maureen has been collecting rocks all this time. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SaysWhovia! We are back. Well, Dan has been here all along suffering through * waves hands in all directions* with the rest of you. But Maureen? Maureen has been away! Offline! Disconnected! And she's made a big mistake:  She came back.  Welcome to hell.   Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

2026 has arrived on the stage with a lot to prove. Thirteen days in, Dan and Maureen try to parse it all, and they have an idea: bear holes. Get digging, SaysWhovia. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Welcome to 2026? Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It's the end of the year and Maureen has some things to say.  Happy New Year? Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

This week, as 2025 draws to a close after an astonishing 11 month run, Dan and Maureen find themselves the holiday spirit. Maureen has a great big mug from the SaysWho shop that she can barely lift. That’s because she hasn’t been working out in the new airport gyms. She needs to do her pull-ups! Yes, the powers that be are closing out 2025—not by bringing peace or prosperity or health care—but by...

This week, Maureen and Dan had to record on Monday, so whatever weird stuff happened on Tuesday, they don’t know about. Don’t tell them. No spoilers. Because this episode is about wonderful things. Maureen has a magical encounter with a SaysWhovian. Dan’s wonderful holiday stockings are flying off the virtual shelves. Books are good! And New York City emerges once again as the best city in the wor...

Gobble gobble! It’s pretty much Thanksgiving! This week, Dan and Maureen are reflecting on 2025 so far. Like Trump falling in love with Mamdani. Stuff like that. Also, is stuffing any good? But really, Dan is trying to catch a fly. 90% of this episode is Dan trying to catch a fly, which has got to be a metaphor for something. And since we’re talking metaphors, Maureen reads from more of the Nuzzi/...