Retrospective Rants

“Dad! Mom! Wake up-Wake up! I want my human!” Young Tommy Van Vincent’s voice echoed through the house and shook every piece of antique furniture in his parent’s bedroom. “Tonight’s the night! I’m finally getting my own human!” Barely louder than the boy’s voice was the banging of his fists on the titanium shell surrounding his parent’s bed. This assault lasted barely a minute, before the shell co...

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Retrospective Rants “Iliad” Script. Intro: Welcome to Retrospective Rants! With me, Joey Huff, as your host. (whispers) Why no opening sketch? Because life is a comedy sketch. And because I’ve decided to get on the olde bandwagon, the “adaptation” bandwagon. The blinders have been pulled from my eyes, and I understand that the classic Greek legends of old must be cleansed and remade for the ever g...

Whispers and murmuring, interrupted by a gavel. Archie: “Welcome applicants, to your initial interview for the University for Aspiring Dark Lords and assorted Evil Bastards. Before we get into the questions proper, I’d like to do a general inquest into your individual motivations. You know: Why do you want to be a mega villain? That sorta thing. Let’s start with you, the pasty lady with the long n...

Note: Below is the un-corrected script for the audio of the podcast. I highly recommend you listen to the audio rather as this is a podcast, rather than a traditional “article”. Archimedes: Welcome my noble audience, I am Archimedes Lichelord of Cyrenica, and today we embark on a grand and mythic adventure! Snot 1 and 2: Oh boy! I love magical adventures! Archie: No, there’s no magic in this. Snot...

IMPORTANT! Below is the raw uncorrected script for the episode. It’s meant as an aid, not a substitute for the full product. You have been warned! Me doing a bad impression of the GOT Theme, which is then interrupted by “farting” noises. “Ewww, that’s foul.” “Yes but it’s gross with purpose.” “What?” “It’s distinguishing itself from the other shows in the franchise in a decisive visual manner.” “N...

Why the Old Republic is my Favorite Star Wars era. Long ago, I Joseph Huff, autistic master of star wars lore, devoured all content from the galaxy far far away. Then an arrogant mouse wielding immense cash stepped forth to mangle what millions already enjoyed. After many decisive blows had been struck, I tore myself from the current star wars media, I mean, besides Andor and The Jedi Fallen Order...

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

All credit goes to respective creators for their characters, settings, and images. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

All credit goes to original creators of their respective works. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com

(00:00:03): Hello, hello, and welcome to Retrospective Rants, with me, Joey Huff, as your host. (00:00:11): This episode, I must bring to your attention a matter most nerdy. (00:00:17): I must defend tabletop gaming. (00:00:21): But you already talked about anime, I know. (00:00:25): And you talk about movies and video games all the time. (00:00:29): I know, (00:00:30): but... (00:00:30): And you...

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joeyh1996.substack.com