Intelligent Intoxication

We can get stuck in “preparing for the future” when we procrastinate taking actionable steps or making continuous progress.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice getting stuck in “preparing” for the future? What’s the one, next actionable step you can take to make progress? How can you live your future now? Who is your future self? What might your future self expect you to...

It is always true that you are feeling the emotion that you’re feeling. Once you’ve felt your emotion all the way through, question the thought or belief that caused the emotion. Remind yourself that just because you think something, does not make it factual.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice telling yourself that you “shouldn’t” feel an emotion? How willing are you to...

Confusion means that on some level, you’ve already begun a new chapter and need to slow down to consider your one next step. Confusion does not mean that: you’re going the wrong way you should turn back you should stop or quit I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice grasping to know ALL of the steps - rather than the one next step? When do you stop trusting yourself to discern...

When we celebrate while in comparisonitis or competition, we are doing so from a place of inferiority or superiority.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice feeling inferior or superior while you’re celebrating? How willing are you to get curious about the intention driving or fueling your celebration? When do you notice sharing a celebration versus advertising it? When do y...

Making your decisions “actionable” means to break your decisions down into smaller choices.  We can do this by asking: What don’t I want? Do I want this? Do I want that? I invite you to consider these questions: What is the smallest decision you can make now that will move you toward a bigger decision? What can you decide today that will still feel like continuous progress? How willing are you to...

To “iterate” means to improve upon or level up. We often wait to begin something until we can do so perfectly, rather than beginning and compassionately iterating WHILE we experience it.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you wait to start something until you can do it perfectly? When do you notice that waiting to start doesn’t benefit you? What  might waiting be costing you? If yo...

When we grieve, we may be processing what could have been: better different more I invite you to consider these questions: What are you grieving that could have been “better”? Does it serve you to believe this? What are  you grieving that could have been “different”? Does it serve you to believe this? What are you grieving that could have been “more”? Does it serve you to believe this? Loving What...

Courtesy of my favorite barista Jackie, I invite you to consider this powerful question: What are three things that you either: experience use take part in that if you were no longer allowed to partake in, it would be devastating to you as a person? I invite you to consider the three parts to this question separately: What three things must you experience? What three things do you consistently use...

I invite you to consider your priorities through the following four lenses: Have To Do/Want To Do Have To Do/Don’t Want To Do  Don’t Have To Do/Want To Do  Don’t Have To Do/Don’t Want To Do I invite you to consider these questions: How do you determine your “have to’s”? Are your “have to’s” created by others or by yourself? Which emotions motivate your “want to do’s”? How willing are you to ditch...

We are conditioned to believe that there are certain parts of ourselves that others will find unworthy or love or attachment. We call these parts our “shadow”. Not surprisingly, we think we have to “ditch” or “hide” our shadow in order to be loved or accepted.  I invite you to consider these questions: What have you been criticized for by others? What did you make those criticisms mean about you o...

When we create, we are giving. When we celebrate what we’ve created, we’re receiving. Both creating and celebrating, just like giving and receiving, are equally important and beneficial.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice over-creating or over-producing at the expense of your willingness to receive and celebrate? What might prevent you from celebrating what you’ve create...

When we’re on the cusp of change, our brain attempts to protect us by striving to keep things the “same” because “different” feels unsafe, uncertain, unpredictable, or uncontrollable.    I invite you to consider these questions: What feels safe about the “same”? What feels unsafe about “different”? What if finding your “different” IS the safest step to take next? How willing are you to consider th...

Even when our plans or circumstances are vastly different from what we anticipated or expected, we can still create space to be pleasantly surprised.  I invite you to consider these thoughts: “People are eager and willing to help me.” “I may not get what I thought I wanted or needed, but I might just get something better.” “This or something better.” “I’m always willing to be pleasantly surprised...

I love “before and after” pictures because they feel like a celebration of change, transformation, or progress.    When we consider “befores” and afters”, I invite you to consider these questions:   What was better about the “before”? What’s better about the “after”? What has been the same about the “before” and “after”? What’s different about the “before” and “after”? Why were you willing to leav...

I’d love to invite you to consider an emotional intelligence course delivered via the Intelligent Intoxication podcast… here are my initial musings:   the course will be inspired by the “Science of Differentiation” a.k.a. Human Design.  you’ll efficiently and easefully: discover your type  understand your strategy identify and manage your most intoxicating emotions utilize your authority (signatur...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel trapped, we feel as if we have zero: agency control certainty power in our lives and in regard to our choices and decisions.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice feeling trapped...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel pitied, it’s because someone feels sorry for us or someone is offering us sympathy.  There is a difference between sympathy and empathy: sympathy is feeling compassion, sorrow, or pity for the hardships...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel like we’re the “bad guy”, it may be because we’re feeling blamed by others or telling ourselves that others think it’s “all your fault”.  We may also unintentionally be playing a role in the Drama Trian...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel like we can’t be HONEST, it may be because it doesn’t feel SAFE to share or tell the truth.  Here are some reasons we withhold the truth when we don’t feel safe: We DEFEND or protect ourselves from real...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  “Given that we're all here to be seen, known, and loved, invisibility is one of the most painful human experiences." Atlas of the Heart Brene Brown, PhD, MSW When we don’t feel seen, known, and loved, it’s likely th...

One year ago today I launched the first episode of the Intelligent Intoxication podcast. I am deeply grateful for: my engaged, present, phenomenal listeners my supportive, brilliantly talented, producer, Rubi Skilton my coaches, counselors and mentors who encouraged me to “be me” and to do what felt deeply enjoyable and satisfying my friends and family who celebrated along with me Cheers to anothe...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  “At the heart of loneliness is the absence of meaningful social interaction - an intimate relationship, friendships, family gatherings, or even community or work group connections.” Atlas of the Heart Brene Brown, P...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel like we DON’T HAVE A VOICE, we may be believing that we can’t speak up.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice feeling like you don’t have a voice? What do you notice telling your...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel a LACK OF AFFECTION, we may also feel UNLOVED.  In his bestselling book, The Five Languages, author Gary Chapman teaches about these five “love languages”: acts of service gift-giving physical touch qua...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel RESPECTED by others, what is it that they are: doing/not doing saying/not saying We need to be willing to identify and communicate to others how we expect to be treated in order to feel respected.  If y...