Intelligent Intoxication

Have you ever wondered if you still matter as much as you used to? Because I think there is something about this season of life that can bring that question to the surface. For many of us, we have spent decades being needed. Our children needed us. Our families needed us. Our homes needed us. We were the ones remembering the appointments, planning the holidays, solving the problems, and making sur...

What if you’re waiting to feel confident or motivated before you’re willing to take the next step—but confidence and momentum actually come after you begin? In this episode, I’m talking about what it really means to start something before you feel ready. We often think confidence is something we need to have before we put ourselves out there. But confidence requires evidence. If I want to believe...

If this episode resonated with you, take a minute to look at the information for MY KIDS ARE GROWN. NOW WHAT? You can scan the QR CODE on the flyer or use this link to access the sign-up page and learn more about this in-person, group coaching experience: My Kids Are Grown - Now What? Group Coaching Program And if you're listening to this and thinking of a friend who might need this conversation…...

The Drama Triangle vs. Empowerment Dynamic The Drama Triangle is a model of relational dynamics created by psychiatrist Stephen Karpman in 1968. It was developed to help us recognize three recurring roles people can fall into during stressful or conflict-filled interactions: Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor.  The Empowerment Dynamic The Empowerment Dynamic (TED*) was developed by David Emerald as a...

When our kids become adults, our job changes—but our love doesn’t. The challenge is learning how to stay supportive and connected without taking over their lives. In this episode, we talk about: The difference between supporting and rescuing Why allowing normal struggle can help young adults build confidence and capacity The Green Light / Yellow Light / Red Light framework for knowing when to step...

Men Have Crises. Women Unravel. What if what we call a “midlife crisis” is actually something very different for women? Brené Brown describes midlife as an unraveling—a gradual realization that the roles, expectations, and coping strategies that once served us may no longer fit the woman we've become. For women, especially after years of active motherhood, this season can bring some uncomfortable...

The Window of Tolerance Quick Shot Ever wonder why you sometimes feel overwhelmed and wired, while other times you feel shut down and exhausted? The Window of Tolerance can help you understand what’s happening in your nervous system—and what you can do next. In this episode, I introduce my new free resource, The Window of Tolerance Quick Shot: a simple, step-by-step guide designed to help you take...

What if decluttering isn’t really about having a cleaner, more organized home—but about creating space for your next season? Inspired by Somer Lynn’s The Uncluttered Project, we explore her powerful idea: “When your home stops overwhelming you, two doors open.” Door one: the people. More space and mental capacity to be present with the people you love. Door two: the life you’re meaning to create....

When your children are grown, the question isn't necessarily “What should I do now?” A more interesting question is: “What do I want this next chapter of my life to be about?” A life theme isn't a goal, a resolution, or a five-year plan. It's a direction. A quality you want to cultivate. A question you want to explore. A way you want to experience this season of your life. For women who spent year...

There’s a particular feeling that happens when your adult child has been home for a while—and suddenly, you realize their time at home is coming to an end. Maybe they’re heading back to college. Maybe they’re going back to their apartment. Maybe they’re leaving for a new job or a new chapter. And you can feel it coming. And there’s this ache. You start noticing the little things you’re going to mi...

In our friendships and friend groups, we either show up as a liability or an asset. “People don’t like you because they immediately sense that you’re a survival liability.”   Donald Miller   When you are coming across as a survival liability when you are engaging in one of these 4 “N’s”:   You have a pattern of being:   Negative: draining or depleting.  Needy: you require a lot of attention and ta...

So much of our lives happen by default. We inherit beliefs. We inherit traditions. We inherit routines. We inherit friendships. We inherit responsibilities. We inherit identities. Eventually we wake up one day and realize: "I'm managing a life I didn't intentionally create." Rather than endlessly tweaking what's no longer working, sometimes the healthiest thing to do is pause. Empty everything out...

There’s a difference between feel envious of women who are young and experiencing grief over what you didn’t get to experience while you were young.  If you've found yourself feeling unexpectedly emotional while watching younger people live their lives, I want to offer you this thought: Maybe you're not jealous. Maybe you're grieving If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some sup...

When we unintentionally measure our worth by the wrong things, we struggle to feel confident.  For years, I measured my worth by who chose me—and who didn't. No amount of achievement could outweigh the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend until my third year of college. Attending my recent 40th high school reunion led me to a question I think every woman should ask: What are you measuring yourself...

Why Midlife Moms Struggle to Stay Present Do you find yourself replaying the past or worrying about the future instead of fully experiencing your life right now? In this episode, we're exploring why so many midlife moms get stuck in regret, rumination, and worry—and why staying present can feel surprisingly difficult during this season of life. After spending years caring for others, planning ahea...

Navigating Difficult Conversations Difficult conversations don't have to turn into battles. A simple framework can help you communicate clearly while staying connected. Share Your Observations Start with what you've noticed, not accusations. "I've noticed that when we have differing opinions, you tend to raise your voice or yell." Address the Impact Explain how their behavior affects you. "When yo...

No one prepares us for the complicated emotions that come with parenting adult children.  In this episode, I'm talking honestly about the sting of unmet expectations, broken promises, and the stories we tell ourselves when our kids' choices don't align with what we hoped for. We'll explore the "manuals" we carry about how our adult children should behave, how to separate disappointment from the me...

In this episode, we’ll explore how to support our adult children as they move from the familiarity and freedom of college life into first jobs, new routines, and greater responsibility. We'll focus on supporting them with empathy rather than urgency while normalizing the mix of excitement, grief, uncertainty, and hope that often accompanies major life changes. As our children step into new seasons...

Many women arrive in midlife carrying a quiet longing they can't quite name. Maybe you've done the therapy, built a beautiful life, raised children, and accomplished so much—and yet something still feels unfinished. In her book Mother Hunger, therapist Kelly McDaniel identifies three essential needs every daughter requires from her mother: Nurturance To be seen, soothed, comforted, and cherished....

Many women live with a quiet belief running in the background: I'm not doing enough. I'm not accomplishing enough. I haven't had enough. I am not enough. What's interesting is that getting “more” rarely solves the problem. The goal is reached, the project is finished, the glass is refilled, and the feeling simply moves to the next thing. The truth is that "not enough" is often not a quantity probl...

For midlife moms of adult children, our role shifts dramatically. While we still love them deeply, we can no longer protect, guide, or guarantee outcomes the way we could when they were adolescents.  In this episode, we explore the difference between loving our children and trying to emotionally future-proof them. If you’ve been carrying sadness, fear, or helplessness as your children find their f...

Many women—especially mothers of adult children—have been taught that love means emotional availability at all times. But there’s a difference between being compassionate and becoming emotionally permeable or enmeshed. In this episode, we explore: why empathy can quietly turn into emotional over-functioning the subtle signs of enmeshment in parent/adult child relationships why “being there” for yo...

When our children were growing up, we were meant to be their emotional charging station. They came to us for: comfort reassurance grounding perspective emotional safety That was healthy. That was parenting. But in the empty nest season, many parents unconsciously reverse that relationship and begin expecting their adult children to emotionally sustain them. Our adult children are not meant to carr...

What I Thought Women Needed A clear, written plan for their next chapter Step-by-step direction Tangible outcomes they could take with them What I Discovered They Actually Needed Clarity about where they are right now Language for what no longer fits Permission to want something different Connection to their values A sense of the identity they are growing into Support in aligning habits and routin...

There’s a quote many mothers have heard: “You’re only as happy as your least happy child.” And if we’re honest, many of us have lived like that’s true. If one child is struggling—emotionally, relationally, financially, spiritually, or professionally—we feel it deeply. Especially in the empty nest season, it can feel like our emotional well-being is still tied to our children’s lives. But what if t...