Intelligent Intoxication

When we feel dissatisfied, it’s because we’re not content. Frequently we’re dissatisfied when our expectations are unmet.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice feeling dissatisfied when your expectations fail to meet your results? When do you notice feeling dissatisfied with your personal or professional life? When do you notice feeling dissatisfied because you’re stuck in...

When we feel defeated, there’s often a sense that we’ve lost something - a place, a purpose, or an identity.   I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice feeling defeated because you’ve lost something? When do you notice blaming someone else for your loss or feelings of defeat? When do you notice blaming yourself for your loss or feelings of defeat?   If you have something you’d...

When we feel discouraged, it’s typically because we’ve lost confidence or enthusiasm. Confidence requires evidence, whereas self-confidence is the commitment to have your own back. Enthusiasm is a state of excitement, enjoyment, and empowerment.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice feeling discouraged because you’ve lost confidence in your ability or in a circumstance? How...

When we feel desperate, we feel hopeless regarding the likelihood of getting what we want and need.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you feel desperate for consistency, comfort, and certainty? When do you feel desperate for change, variety, or something different? When do you feel desperate to feel loved and connected to others? When do you feel desperate to feel unique, special,...

When you feel SPECIAL, you’re likely feeling significant, unique, and empowered. When you feel LESS SPECIAL than others, you will feel inferior to them and tip into comparisonitis. When you feel MORE SPECIAL than others, you will feel superior to others and be in competition with others.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice feeling SPECIAL because you’re utilizing your inh...

When you COLLECT things, you gather or keep similar items. Sometimes, our “collections” bring us joy and deep satisfaction. Other times, our “collections” of possessions, beliefs, or commitments may keep us cluttered and stuck.  I invite you to consider these questions: Which of your collections bring you joy? Which of your collections feel like clutter? Which thoughts, beliefs, and opinions feel...

There’s a difference between being PERSUADED and being MANIPULATED. When someone is trying to persuade you,  they will present you with a point of view/options for your consideration. They may also highlight the benefits of the option and allow you to decide whether it’s of value to you.  When someone is trying to manipulate you, they will likely try to control your decision-making or actions by m...

When you PRESSURE yourself to predict future outcomes, it may be because your brain is anxious because a circumstance feels uncertain or unpredictable. Or, your brain may be imagining worst case scenarios.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice staying stuck because of uncertainty? When do you notice imagining worst case scenarios?   If you have something you’d really love t...

When you PRESSURE yourself to take immediate action, it may be because you’re worried about missing out on something or getting impatient with your own decision-making process. When you PRESSURE yourself to do more work than you’re capable of, it may be because you’re trying to people-please or approval-seek.  I invite you to consider these questions: When does it benefit you to wait to take actio...

When we PRESSURE ourselves to offer others sympathy or empathy, we may be forcing ourselves to think over the top of our own emotions.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice forcing yourself to offer sympathy or empathy? When do you notice pressuring yourself to act before you feel your feelings all the way through?   If you have something you’d really love to hear on the po...

When we PRESSURE ourselves to know what we want, we’re forcing ourselves to make decisions before we’re ready.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice pressuring yourself to know what you want? What DON’T you want? What don’t you want to feel? What do you want to feel? When do you pretend not to want what you want? If you did know what you wanted, what might it be? If you cou...

When we PRESSURE ourselves to prove something to others, we are often trying to control what others think, feel, or say about us.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice trying to prove something to others? What is the worst thing someone else might think, feel, or say about you? What’s the opposite of this? When have you experienced being loved conditionally? What are you st...

When we PRESSURE ourselves to know exactly where we’re going, it’s likely because we’re confused and resisting taking the one next step.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you allow confusion to shut down your progress? When do you tell yourself that you have to know “all of the steps” before you start? When do you notice picturing the worst-case scenario in order to grasp for cert...

When we PRESSURE ourselves to speak up, we are forcing ourselves to communicate in the moment - even when we’re not ready or willing to do so.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice pressuring yourself to say the perfect thing at the perfect time? When do you notice waiting to speak up because you’re not ready to do so? When do you resist speaking up because you’re emotional...

When we PRESSURE ourselves to have or express an OPINION, we are forcing ourselves to form and share a deeply-rooted belief.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice pressuring yourself to have the same opinions as others? When do you notice hiding your real opinions? Which are your strongest opinions? What prevents you from considering the opinions of others? When do you pret...

When we PRESSURE ourselves to UNDERSTAND, we attempt to force or push meaning.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice putting pressure on yourself to understand something that’s happened in the past? When do you grasp for the reasons behind the circumstances in your life? When do you notice creating negative meanings for someone’s actions or words? What benefits do you get f...

Psychotherapist and best-selling author helps her students and clients manage these five types of Inner Critics: Restless Inadequate Perfectionist Guilty Victim We must be willing to identify and work with our Inner Critics or these voices and fear patterns will control your: thoughts feelings actions experiences relationships I invite you to consider these questions: What flavor (s) of Inner Crit...

Psychotherapist and best-selling author helps her students and clients manage these five types of Inner Critics: Restless Inadequate Perfectionist Guilty Victim “The VICTIM Inner Critic has a pervasive sense of helplessness and will convince you that life is really, really hard!  You can’t be happy or fulfilled until other people change or treat you better.  The Victim Inner Critic makes excuses f...

Psychotherapist and best-selling author helps her students and clients manage these five types of Inner Critics: Restless Inadequate Perfectionist Guilty Victim “The GUILTY Inner Critic makes you feel like everything is your fault.  You hold onto all the mistakes of your past, and all the times you have hurt or disappointed someone.  You  punish yourself for what your Guilty Inner Critic tells you...

Psychotherapist and best-selling author helps her students and clients manage these five types of Inner Critics: Restless Inadequate Perfectionist Guilty Victim “The PERFECTIONIST Inner Critic keeps you dependent on constant achievement in order for you to feel worthy and validated.  You believe if you don’t succeed, you are flawed, inferior, incompetent and inadequate.  Your Perfectionist Inner C...

Psychotherapist and best-selling author helps her students and clients manage these five types of Inner Critics: Restless Inadequate Perfectionist Guilty Victim “The INADEQUATE Inner Critic makes you feel like no matter how much effort you put into anything, you do it better. Even if your life is good, you feel that it isn't at the level that it could be. You are always looking at what you need to...

Psychotherapist and best-selling author helps her students and clients manage these five types of Inner Critics: Restless Inadequate Perfectionist Guilty Victim “The RESTLESS Inner Critic keeps you constantly in search of greater excitement in the next activity. You are rarely at peace or content with the activity you’re doing. You are easily distracted and scattered. You stay busy and are always...

Fear is part of the decision-making process. Fear does not mean to quit or that you’ve made a “bad” or “wrong” decision. Fear lets you know that your Inner Critic is triggered by your decision.  I invite you to consider these questions: How do you make decisions?  What is your Inner Critic trying to protect you from? What do the sensations of fear feel like in your body? Where in your body do you...

Just because others offer to help you, doesn’t mean that you’re obligated to accept the help.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you say YES to help even when you don’t need it or want it? When do you accept help and feel resentful or frustrated? What prevents you from graciously declining unneeded or unwanted help? If you have something you’d really love to hear on the podcast, I...

I love to group my daily/weekly tasks into these categories: call/texts/emails errands home chores work tasks When I’m planning for an event, gathering, or party, I group my tasks into: things to get things to finish things to stage/prep things to clean I invite you to consider these questions: Which things do you need to “get”? Which tasks do you need to “finish”? Which things do you need to “cle...