Grace + Boundaries: Navigating Intergenerational Trauma with Erin Hearts

Do you monitor your expectations before buying and giving gifts?  I do, and I think it's definitely part of my personal self-care.  I discuss gift giving and the strings that can be attached when it comes to the family gift exchange and even gifts for coworkers.  Thank you for listening!  Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/ Please rate a...

I've felt rejected a couple times recently in the dating world. This lead me yesterday, on a sad morning, to questioning, am I desperate? Is that why these men have not shown interest in me? I share my feelings and the answer to the question above that I came to after a day of self-care. I discuss what exactly I did to get myself out of my depressed mood.  What tools do you use to get you bac...

What types of substances do you use to fill that void inside your soul? Some call it our God-shaped hole. Or maybe it just feels to you like an aching or a yearning, tugging you towards that glass of wine or the bag of Hershey's Kisses.  For many years, I unconsciously used alcohol, compulsive exercise, sugar, and romantic crushes to fill that need inside of me. Luckily I've now learned...

How are your intentions surrounding dating? Are you aware of the reasons that you're seeking companionship? If it's to sooth your emotions or fill in that existential "hole" in your soul, then you probably aren't going to find something healthy nor lasting.  I share a story about how I dated someone with some subconscious wrong intentions. Now with my 20/20 hindsight, I ca...

Do you enjoy traveling? How about traveling to relative's houses for the holidays? Does it bring up some challenges for you? It sure does for me. Traveling is a time I have to focus on my own self-care because it's ultra-stimulating! I get very anxious before taking trips as a single parent and as a single person because it's a lot of responsibility to take on.  I discuss how to rel...

Are you going to vote on Tuesday? How do you feel about Roe vs. Wade having been overturned last summer? Those are two topics that are discussed in today's episode. I share my thoughts about casting my ballot for what I believe in, and I share a roundtable discussion that I had in July with six intelligent, thoughtful women who are involved in the podcasting world.  Some featured voices inclu...

I met a woman today who was dealing with painful custody issues surrounding her divorce from a difficult person. I used the term "narcissist" in the title because I wanted to succinctly point you towards they type of difficult person I'm talking about in this episode. But, I also don't love using that term because it gets thrown around way too often. I use the word in the sense...

Could you be using fantasy as a coping mechanism to distract from feelings?  Well, I sure have for a lot of my life.  I'm finally noticing exactly how and when it happens and how I can stop that compulsive behavior. It hurts me and it hurts the objects of my affection. It also derails me on my path towards being part of a healthy, loving partnership.  I share three reasons why living in fanta...

How do you treat your body? I was 11 when I started dieting and trying to change my size to fit into society. I didn't treat my body well for decades. Now I care about respecting my body and treating it with the love I feel for myself. What does that look like? For me it means eating healthy with less, poisonous refined sugar, building muscle at the gym, and doing yoga with a teacher that che...

When does culturally appropriate "politeness" border on phoniness? That was a question I started pondering recently. Is it really polite if we act one way in front of people but rip them to shreds behind their backs? I myself am wrestling with how I can stay polite, yet authentic. That's the balance I want so I can be true to myself.  I tell a story of my reckoning over trying to cu...

Do you believe that the emotional injuries you suffered in childhood stick with you until they are processed?  Or do you think we can just "keep them in the past" and deny they exist?  I know from experience that I'm not able to sweep what happened to me as a child under the rug.  I've been suffering from a lot of insomnia related to my perfectionism and workaholism. My brain w...

Do you ever date someone who is out of your league in a negative way? I sure have. Partly it's been out of my desire to not hurt people's feelings, give people a chance, and be kind. But there's also another part of dating down that a codependent can get stuck in- dating someone "less than" so that I (unconsciously) can feel like I have control and the upper-hand in the re...

How do we know when we are feeling desperate and should take extra precautions while we date? How can we tell if we have low self-worth? Sometimes it's hard to see these things until they're in the rearview. I share three ways you can tell if you're a little desperate or have  low self-esteem when dating. I tell a story of a dating relationship I had in 2020 during the pandemic. I w...

Trigger Warning!  I mildly discuss a date-rape situation in this episode. No major details, just feelings and thoughts about the situation.  My third installment in the "Dating Deathtrap" series is about my second relationship after my divorce, which is more than super-cringy. What happened with this man I dated was what plunged me into truly taking therapy and my immediate need for heal...

Have you ever wondered about how your mental health relates to the types of partners you attract? I'm two episodes into the juicy topic of mental health coupled with dating.  Back in the beginning of my divorce, I was still in victim-mentality. Sadly, I was an easy target for someone to take advantage of in the dating world. I tell the story today about my first time joining a dating app and...

Today I start my series about Dating After Trauma. I share three things that skewed my percetion towards developing a healthy and loving relationship with a significant other.  I'm still on my journey, but today's episode is a happy stop along the way. I can look back and see how far I have come, even though along the human trudge, we will never fully arrive.  Thank you for listening!  H...

What act of kindness and connection have you done lately? Have you left a positive reivew for a business or service you like, have you brought a treat to a suffering friend? It takes me effort to push myself out of my comfort zone to help someone else. It take vulnerabiltiy to make connections.  I share a couple stories of connections I've recently made. Then I discuss how gratitude is a lear...

As I start the new school year as a teacher, I feel it necessary to revamp my self-care routine. What do I want to add to my days and weeks to make myself stronger, happier, and more energized? I share five self-care activities that I am adding to my life this fall and one extra tip to help with anxiety when I'm future-tripping about all the problems that may occur. Thank you for listening! I...

It's a first for our podcast- we have a voicemail from a listener named Eugenia. I share her voicemail and tie it in to an expansive experience I had this week connecting with an old high school friend. This high school friend and I knew each other when we were going through so much trauma, but we have both chosen a pathway of healing. He demonstrated to me how healing plus compassion and for...

Have you had Covid-19 Brain Fog and Depression? It lasted way longer than I thought it would.  I share my experience with Covid depression and how getting my first mammogram was typical, yet felt a little traumatic. I gained some empathy and compassion for myself and others through these experiences.  I'm grateful today for you who are listening to my podcast, because I love making it! Thank...

"The basis of all neurosis is the avoidance of legitimate suffering." -Carl Jung We all want to heal pain from our past, but how?  Healing takes acceptance of heartbreak and willingness to sit through the acknowledgement of pain.  Thank you for listening!  Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/ Please rate and review the podcast to let...

Today I share the vulnerable story about how and why I quit drinking over five years ago. I love myself and my son more than I love wine.  Thank you, God.  Thank you for listening!  Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/ Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!

Have you ever been in a friendship that's enmeshed?  Being enmeshed means that you are overly involved in another person's life to the extent that you may be sacrificing your own needs and emotions, or expecting them to cater to your needs/emotions. Most likely you and the friend violate each others' boundaries and this can cause trauma.  Recognizing enmeshment is important because...

I'm telling the story today about when I met Oprah. Okay. We only locked eyes for a number of seconds, but it was very significant to me on my spiritual and creative journey. I share the story and the advice Oprah gave to me that day, which will hopefully inspire you towards your next creative endeavour.  I mention Oprah's Super Soul Sunday, Super Soul Sessions, and her podcast, Super So...

Do you have a practice of meditating daily? Well, according to some of the most spiritual educators out there, it's the best routine to start you on the path to contentedness in life. I share some of my favorite places to find free guided meditations, and then I share a story about my loving kindness meditation this morning. Thank you for listening! Marianne Williamson's prayers: https:/...