Grace + Boundaries: Navigating Intergenerational Trauma with Erin Hearts

Do you think you're controlling? Most people don't. We generally think of a angry, domestically violent-type person who takes their partners phone and stops them from seeing their friends.  But what if I showed you that being controlling is actually a very covert form of manipulation that you might be doing in relationships without even meaning to?! Today I give three uncommon signs that...

Have you noticed the critical voice inside your head? If you are in recovery or are interested in learning more about self-love and self care, this episode is for you. I know there was a time in my life when I was in such denial about my mental health that I didn't even notice the horrid things my critical voice was constantly shouting at me. Those messages had become such commonplace occuren...

Today I share a short poem I wrote that summarizes my journey from self-loathing to self-love. I hope it inspires you to follow your creativity! Spending our time in creative mode activates the pump that gushes self-love and acceptance!  Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/ Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listenin...

Our energy sets our boundaries! This means that boundaries are mostly an inside job. You might not need to even tell the other person with words that you are setting a boundary! We've all been around people who have strong boundaries. They hold the truth inside of them and we know even before talking to them that they won't put up with BS! We can become that type of person if we take the...

I share an exercise you can do for free with a pen and a piece of paper to tap into the wisdom of your intuition/inner child. One time I got an amazingly intuitive hit with this exercise and it helped me understand the truth about my abusive partner.  I mention Martha Beck. Here's one of her wonderful podcasts that you might enjoy:  https://omny.fm/shows/the-gathering-pod/the-magical-corner-o...

Pure. Fucking. Magic. PFM. What was happening in your life when you experienced it? I liken it to the feeling of the universe delivering in such a way that you could have never planned or expected. It's pure magic.  I share two examples of recent PFM in my life, but there are so many! When have you witnessed PFM? DM me on Instagram @iheartserin Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from...

Do you stay quiet when injustices occur? Or do you voice your concerns in a graceful manner?  Today I share a story about how I stood up for my values by writing an email to my son's school. A shocking thing occured while my son was having freetime, and I wanted to make sure it didn't happen again. I know I can't solve the problems of the world, but maybe I can make better the littl...

Have you ever wondered if you were a narcissist? I sure have. When I started learning about Narcissism and Codependency back in 2015, I was confused about the difference between these two ideas. It seemed they overlapped in places that made me scared- could I be just as bad as the person I was pointing fingers at?  The short answer is: NO. Narcissism is intense and serious. It is not the same thin...

Do you ever gaslight yourself when you think of the narcissistic person in your life? Do you wonder if it's your fault, if they're right, if everyone else is more sane than you because you see the bad behavior and they don't? I've been dealing with real gaslighting from narcissists and people in my life for many years. But I've recently realized how I was doing it to mysel...

I listened to a popular male podcaster recently say that we should never mention our ex or our trauma when dating.  I disagree. What do you think?  While I think the idea of trying to have a fun, light, time while dating is a good rule of thumb, I disagree that I should stop myself from sharing anything serious. My goal in dating is not just to have fun. It's to be my authentic self so that I...

Rewind from 2022 that I thought you might enjoy! I hope it keeps you from making the mistakes I made! How do we know when we are feeling desperate and should take extra precautions while we date? How can we tell if we have low self-worth? Sometimes it's hard to see these things until they're in the rearview. I share three ways you can tell if you're a little desperate or have  low s...

Rewind: I'm re-releasing this episode from 2022 because I hope others can learn from my bad mistakes. Trigger Warning! I mildly discuss a date-rape situation in this episode. No major details, just feelings and thoughts about the situation. My third installment in the "Dating Deathtrap" series is about my second relationship after my divorce, which is more than super-cringy. What ha...

How has Intergenerational Trauma affected your dating life? I share five ways that facing my intergenerational trauma has affected mine. I share a little of my story that pushed me to become aware of these patterns and what we can do to move forward towards becoming a healthy partner that attracts someone great! Have a wonderful Valentine's Day- do something nice for yourself! I will be treat...

Erin Vandermore, Licenced Therapist, Wellness Coach, and Author, wants us to take our healing seriously! She says that if the body says it's trauma, it's trauma! We don't have to waste time defining what that exactly means. (Big T Trauma? Little t trauma?) Erin and I talk about creating boundaries between work life, creative life, and home life. We also dicsuss boundaries with our c...

As a single parent, have you ever felt like you're seen as a reject, or as if you're wearing a scarlet letter?  Shoshana Alexandra is here today to help reframe that outdated stigma that I have felt as a single parent, and maybe you have, too. Shoshana Alexandra wrote a book called "In Praise of Single Parents: Mothers and Fathers Embracing the Challenge." It's become a pl...

Today is part 2 of a 2 part discussion surrounding breathwork and intergenerational trauma that starts in the womb! Susan Tuttle, author and breathwork practitioner with 30 years of codependency recovery, is back! Her first Episode, "How do we Learn to Love Our Bodies?" #66, is one of my most-downloaded episodes ever. We start off by discussing how our birth stories and birth trauma have...

Susan Tuttle, author and breathwork practitioner with 30 years of codependency recovery, is back! The first time she was on the podcast (#66) was one of my most-downloaded episodes ever. Today is part 1 of a 2 part discussion surrounding intergernational trauma. We discuss how generational trauma manifests in our lives- what does it look like? How does it show up? How can we recognize our need for...

How are you at setting boundaries? What is the practice that you follow? The questions that you check yourself with before you make the call?  I share my process today of boundary setting. I tell a story about a boundary conversation I had with my dad this week, which was unconfortable, but it taught me something important. I'm staying curious and keeping an open heart towards learning how to...

Do you allow others to be hot and cold with you in relationships? I've noticed that I'm attracted to that energy, since it mirrors my treatment in my family of origin. I share a story about how I overcame that attraction by observing my own ambivalence. I also share a Christmas miracle about setting boundaries with family that you won't want to miss! I hope it inspires you to keep o...

Our culture and media markets that behavior change is direct. For example, if you want to lose weight, then you should diet to eat less. As many of us know from trying this multiple times in our lives, IT DOESN'T WORK for lasting behavior change! Behavior change is actually INDIRECT. The only way out of these patterns is deep, internal work. I give an example  of what my therapist taught me a...

I sometimes feel shamed by others for my desire for a loving partnership. Do you ever feel this stigma around town? Has anyone ever pointedly asking you WHY you want a romantic relationship, as if there's sometihng wrong with you for wanting love?  I share some examples of when it's felt like people have thrown shade my way for wanting a romanric relationship.  I wholeheartedly disagree...

Have you ever pondered the word "unmanageable" as a description of the type of life you lead? It's rich food for thought and that's what I'm telling a story about today. I also give a list of signs you are experiencing unmanageability and need to slow down for some self-care.  Let me know what you think! <3 Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://ww...

Have you ever heard that money is linked to childhood trauma? This is true ! My guest, Nadine Zumot, specializes in helping clients heal their money wounds on the daily! We discuss how money wounds manifest in our lives, how to know if we have money trauma, and what to do about it if we need help. You can find Nadine at https://www.saveamillioncents.com/ She hosts the podcast The Money Healing Pod...

Jana Wilson is an emotional healing educator who teaches meditation and hypnotherapy as part of her Emotional Healing System.  She just published her first book, a perscriptive memoir called, Wise Little One: Learning to Love and Listen to my Inner Child this past July. Jana and I discuss all things trauma- lives of parents, life as a little one, date rape, divorce, CPTSD, among lots of other wise...

Mark Wolynn told me, "The Partner is the Mother," and it's one of the most profound sentences I've heard this year. Does this assertion track for you in your significant relationship? It sure does for me when I look back at my past partners. It was difficult to pinpoint at first, but now I see the similarities between the two and I know I have a large mother wound that I'm...