Decoding Attachment Styles

An avoidant shares her confusion at being heavily pursued by a man she didn't know, only to start appreciating the attention before he started to pull away.  In this episode we discuss why avoidants are careful when entering new relationships, how they process relationships that just ended and what signs they are looking for as they enter into a new relationship.  I would love to hear your th...

One of the most sought after answers in our time right now is how to manage a relationship with an Avoidant Attached person and, what is really going on in their minds.  This episode helps an Avoidant Attached person understand themselves better, as well as starter healing journey. It also helps those who are interested in understanding and appreciating their avoidant attached friends and partner...

Many anxious and secure attached persons have dated avoidant attached persons who seemed really ready for a long term committed relationships until.... things got heavy. Many were left confused at their behaviours as some avoidant back-peddled, withdrew, seem to gaslight or altogether ghosted.  In this episode, one of my guests shares her distress in trying to navigate her relationships as she tri...

Many of us believe that holding an avoidant accountable means talking to them like they are an idiot and we are their parent. How many of us liked it when our parents, or anyone in authority held us accountable? No one! We revelled and worse, you ignore and avoided as much as we could. Yes- my anxious attached friends. Even you did that. Most people are online telling us that we need to hold avoid...

At first, he was open to communicating about their needs. He seemed keen on trying to be better. They were great together - both feeling safe to be vulnerable for the first time, then something changed.   He started to feel pressured and needed space. She gave him that space only to have a conversation later that confused her.  Join me as I discussed with Sarah what are some of the red flags she m...

Ever feels like your avoidant partner never wants to do anything during the holidays?  Avoidant attached persons can have a love/hate relationship with holidays and it had everything to do with their attachment styles.  As an anxious attached partner, you probably love the holidays - getting the perfect presents, planning get-togethers and meals, involving your partner in everything... While on th...

She thought everything was fine. Then, he dropped a bombshell/ “I'm not sure I'm in love with you anymore.” Trying to be understanding, she gave him an easy out. She said, “It's okay if we need to break up.” But he wouldn't take it. He was confused. He wanted to keep trying. And just like that, they were trapped in a exhausting cycle of push-and-pull-a classic anxious-avoidant...

Is your heart aching for an avoidant ex? This episode is your essential guide to navigating this incredibly painful and confusing situation. We cut through the generic advice to give you an attachment-based framework for what to do next. In this episode, you will learn- The Avoidant Mindset - What is really going on in their head post-breakup? (It's not what you think). The Power of Secure En...

Today we dive into the mind of an avoidant-  - what makes them shut down?  - what are the thinking when they shut down?  - what are the feeling when they have the urge to run away or shut down?  - why do they walk away?  And what you and your partner can do to save your relationship.  I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show

You’re doing “the talk wrong and I’ll help you fix it. First, think - an avoidant brain is not a secure brain. You can’t talk to it like it’s an emotionally healthy brain. We think we have to soft talk an avoidant but they are really looking at you thinking - “ I got this exactly where I want it.” I spoke kindly and softy for decades and that got me nothing but breadcrumbs and disrespect. ps: thes...

It can be intoxicating when two avoidants meet. There is chemistry and calm. But what happens when there is too much chemistry and calm for two people who are used to chaos? They may become bored and distant until there is a disconnect. And what happens after the disconnect? One or both can flip into their anxious state and seek reasons to stay connected- like a business venture on this case.  Thi...

Sarah felt seen and validated until things turned for the worse with her avoidant attached partner. He then got up and left.  You will see yourself in her story? You will learn from this coaching session how to navigate feelings the confusion and feeling of betrayal after being love bombed and discarded.  I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show

It wasn’t easy for her , but Sarah felt like she had no choice but to shut herself away or withdraw  from the demands and overwhelm - even if that sometimes came from her children.  In this episode, Sarah tells what happens in the mind of a avoidant when they are going through their deactivation and what they think during this time.  She also shares how she healed after her partner abandoned her a...

Very little is more devasting  than the condition of being blindsided and betrayed by an avoidant attached persons. Sure they have their reasons but that doesn’t negate the pain their sudden exit cause when we are the ones left behind.  In this episode, Sarah (name changed) shares her struggles to get through a breakup (divorce) with her ex and her determination to heal. We can all see ourselves i...

You know that you should walk away yet it is so difficult for you to pull the plug on this Relationship. You might’ve even tried to leave in the past but always return to this familiar and uncomfortable place. Why does this happen? In this podcast, we explore our attachment style and how it keeps us stuck in relationships we know we should get out of. We also discuss tools we can use to make letti...

Imagine craving the warmth of a campfire. You love the light, the comfort, the shared stories. You want to be close enough to feel its heat. But the moment someone says, "Here, tie this rope around your waist and anchor yourself to this log right next to the flames," you panic.  The very thing that offered comfort suddenly feels like a trap. The fire hasn't changed; the constraint h...

Sarah (name changed) has been a relationship with a fearful avoidant for almost a year. All was going well until it got rocky. She now wants to try again but with some boundaries in place.  Sarah and I sat down recently to discuss how it could look going forward for her and her partner. Sarah agreed to have this session recorded and aired for the benefit of everyone listening.  Remember, as humans...

You hit send. You see the “Delivered” tick turn to “Read.” And then... nothing. The silence is louder than any notification. Your mind starts racing: Are they hurt? Are they ignoring me? Did my message come on too strong? Was it the wrong emoji? Before you spiral into that abyss of overthinking, we want you to hit pause. The reason for that silent phone likely has very little to do with you, and e...

When you're in a relationship shaped by attachment insecurities, the questions are complex, urgent, and deeply personal.  In this episode of Decoding Attachment , host Annalisa Bahadur tackles your real-world dilemmas with clarity and compassion, offering actionable strategies for some of the toughest dynamics. We're moving beyond theory and into the trenches to answer your pressing ques...

Is it okay for your partner to take space and drop off the face of the earth without responding to your texts or calls? Not if you’re in a serious committed relationship. This podcast explains why and what you should do.  If you’re avoidant attached and want to know how to ask for space without your partner getting upset- listen to this podcast.  Please share this podcast if you found it helpful. ...

This episode shares the time line in which the avoidant show interested  in the rebound, starts to withdraws and goes back to their ex.  The episode talks about why Avoidant Attached jumps into soon after a break  up, what their intentions are when returning to and what you can do to prevent yourself from becoming rebound. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show

This is what we are talking about today- Why avoidants rush into rebounds The negative consequences of rebound relationships Whether avoidants come back to their ex What their (often anxious) partners should do Healthier alternatives for avoidants How secure individuals handle breakups and rebounds Don’t forget to leave a review so others can know how this episode may help them too. Thanks in adva...

Setting buddies after giving someone a second chance can feel tricky. We want to let them back into our lives but how do we do it with light lagging them take us for granted again.  This podcasts answers that question.  I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show

We all want to feel like the priority in the relationship but this is often not felt when in a relationship with an avoidant attached person. But is this only with a avoidant attached partner or can an insecure (anxious or avoidant)  attached feel that way with a secure attached as well. This podcast helps to break down a few possible reasons you may not feel that way.  I would love to hear your t...

It can be confusing spotting your attachment style or knowing exactly which is your partners attachment style. This podcast simplifies the attachment style so you can understand them and appreciate how and why they show up in your every day life. You’ll also have a better understanding of how and if your partner can trigger a different attachment within you.  Share you thoughts on the podcast, ple...