Decoding Attachment Styles

Today I'm answering three questions I get asked constantly. And I picked these three on purpose, because they build on each other. The first one is the controversial one: can a fearful-avoidant actually have a successful relationship WITHOUT going to therapy? People want me to say no. I'm not going to say no. But I'm also not going to give you the comfortable answer. The second ques...

If you ever thought healing your attachment was impossible - here are two other people who were able to do it.  Today I did something I never did before - I had a discussion with who I have witnessed working on healing their attachment styles.  This episode gives you three certified coaches walking you through what healing looks like, our experiences in our past and current relationships, how atta...

It’s crushing when your avoidant partner disappears. But why are they doing it...and what can you do.  On of the most disruptive things happening in avoidant- anxious relationships is when the avoidant partner suddenly disappears without an explanation.  We want to understand their motives, explain how this hurts us, try harder but perhaps if we understand why they tend to do this we can rest at e...

You may have been dating and anxious attached and they seem put together. They are not the needy and clingy ones you heard about. They don't remind you of your ex who was needy and clingy. You might even think you're being tricked. Are they manipulating you?  Chances are you have bummed into a not so rare gem. There are emotionally mature anxious attached gems that can behave in very sec...

This is an episode recorded for my instagram Wednesday live. These are the questions I answered for my followers there👇👇👇 My avoidant treats me like he’s a bf even we are not longer together for months. We have been on and off but he always treats me like his bf when we are together  Does avoidant experiences physical symptoms when their relationships feel too much? What do you think of the opi...

Healing an anxious attachment isn't easy but it is possible.  My client agreed to sit down and share his journey - what he went through as an anxious attached person, what he has learned and how he continues to grow and feel empowered in his relationships.  I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show

My client decided to share what it's like for her to be a fearful avoidant attached person. We often think that only men are avoidant attached but what happens when it's a woman.  Client S shares how she thinks and feels when she gets overwhelmed and what it looks like to heal. She talks about what she is going through as she manages her emotions during a breakup and what she would do di...

Secure attached people don't beg or chase when an avoidant wants to breakup. They also know when to call it quits...and in this episode - that is what we are discussing.  We will discuss... - a secure attached timeline to a deciding a breakup,  - how they communicate breaking up - what they heal during breakup - how they respond when avoidant circles back  🚶🏻‍♂️‍➡️Follow me on instagram for...

They act like they are over you the moment you breakup and that is crushing. But is that what they really feel?  There are lot of "experts" on what avoidant attached person feel during breakups. I have on average 70 avoidant attached people on speed dial and I am sharing what they all say they go through during breakups. It's astounding how they all have the same breakup story.  Lea...

I wish someone had told me this when I first started dating.  I made so many mistakes that landed me in some questionable relationships. The tips I share here has helped me choose a partner I enjoy life with.  I'm breaking down the red flags to look out for, the green ones to pay attention to, the pace to move at so you don't end up with someone who blindsides you.  This would help if yo...

What happens when you've been in a long distance romance with an avoidant attached person and it feels intense even if you've just met a handful of times? You want answers... What is happening here?  Can this be anything more?  Why do they ghost me and return?  As Sarah shares her stories, we try to find her answers that would soothe her troubles heart.  I would love to hear your thought...

What happens when you have been friends for what seems like forever - you lose each other and find each other and in your older years decide to date but then to be blindsided by the avoidants pull away??? Sarah shares her journey through friendship to falling in love with her friend and then the heartbreaking pulling away that started a journey into examining her anxious attachment style and heali...

Social media will tell you that anxious-avoidant relationships are doomed. That avoidants are narcissists. That anxious people are just codependent. I'm here to tell you that's oversimplified BS that keeps people stuck. In this episode, I'm breaking down the anxious-avoidant dynamic with the nuance it actually deserves. After healing my own anxious attachment and being in a relation...

Annalisa answers followers questions.  I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show

What happens when someone who is working on their attachment style meets with an avoidant attached style person who may not be working on their healing - they set boundaries. How does that work out? Listen to this podcast as Sarah explains the hot and too heavy too soon dynamics of her relationship, setting boundaries and what happened next.  I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Sup...

You probably went through a breakup and was left wondering how your ex could appear like you never existed. This episode helps you to appreciate and understand what might be going on in the mind of your avoidant attached ex just after breakup - in case you're wondering - how can they move on as quickly,  how can the stay away from texting you,  how can they date so soon... And please don&apos...

Let's unpack one of social media's most pervasive attachment theory takes: the idea that avoidants coldly "discard" people the moment intimacy develops. But what if this narrative is not only oversimplified - it's actively harmful?  In this episode, we explore how reducing complex human behavior to viral soundbites can pathologize normal relationship struggles, create self...

An avoidant shares her confusion at being heavily pursued by a man she didn't know, only to start appreciating the attention before he started to pull away.  In this episode we discuss why avoidants are careful when entering new relationships, how they process relationships that just ended and what signs they are looking for as they enter into a new relationship.  I would love to hear your th...

One of the most sought after answers in our time right now is how to manage a relationship with an Avoidant Attached person and, what is really going on in their minds.  This episode helps an Avoidant Attached person understand themselves better, as well as starter healing journey. It also helps those who are interested in understanding and appreciating their avoidant attached friends and partner...

Many anxious and secure attached persons have dated avoidant attached persons who seemed really ready for a long term committed relationships until.... things got heavy. Many were left confused at their behaviours as some avoidant back-peddled, withdrew, seem to gaslight or altogether ghosted.  In this episode, one of my guests shares her distress in trying to navigate her relationships as she tri...

Many of us believe that holding an avoidant accountable means talking to them like they are an idiot and we are their parent. How many of us liked it when our parents, or anyone in authority held us accountable? No one! We revelled and worse, you ignore and avoided as much as we could. Yes- my anxious attached friends. Even you did that. Most people are online telling us that we need to hold avoid...

At first, he was open to communicating about their needs. He seemed keen on trying to be better. They were great together - both feeling safe to be vulnerable for the first time, then something changed.   He started to feel pressured and needed space. She gave him that space only to have a conversation later that confused her.  Join me as I discussed with Sarah what are some of the red flags she m...

Ever feels like your avoidant partner never wants to do anything during the holidays?  Avoidant attached persons can have a love/hate relationship with holidays and it had everything to do with their attachment styles.  As an anxious attached partner, you probably love the holidays - getting the perfect presents, planning get-togethers and meals, involving your partner in everything... While on th...

She thought everything was fine. Then, he dropped a bombshell/ “I'm not sure I'm in love with you anymore.” Trying to be understanding, she gave him an easy out. She said, “It's okay if we need to break up.” But he wouldn't take it. He was confused. He wanted to keep trying. And just like that, they were trapped in a exhausting cycle of push-and-pull-a classic anxious-avoidant...

Is your heart aching for an avoidant ex? This episode is your essential guide to navigating this incredibly painful and confusing situation. We cut through the generic advice to give you an attachment-based framework for what to do next. In this episode, you will learn- The Avoidant Mindset - What is really going on in their head post-breakup? (It's not what you think). The Power of Secure En...