Connecting Couples

The vacation is over and now you are headed home. By plane, train or automobile, your body and your relationship are both preparing for impact. The car pulls into the driveway and what happens first? Is there a plan? How long does is take to unload and reset to start back into the routines of regular life. In this final episode of their vacation series, Chad and Angela discuss the things that can...

We all hope that once we get to our destination that everything will go smoothly, but inevitably, something will happen that we didn't expect or plan. In this episode Chad and Angela discuss several content issues that can often be places where the unexpected happens. How much to spend, what to eat, making time for physical connection and even worst case scenario events are all possible areas wher...

It would be great if once we got to our destination everything went smoothly and as planned. It just doesn't. Inevitably, something will go wrong and when things do, it can be difficult for couples to repair quickly and get back to enjoyment.  In this episode, The Real Imhoffs talk about the real repairs that we have to do when there is a disconnection on our vacation. If we can't repair, then it...

Couples make plans to go on vacation for the adventure, the relaxation, the experiences, but often, the departure is riddled with stress and conflict. In this episode, Chad and Angela discuss what leaving for vacation looks like.  Who determines the deadline? What do both individuals have to get done in order for to get on the road on time? There are lots of things that have to align for this to g...

There are a lot of little decisions that go into taking a family vacation. Starting with the planning stage of deciding where and when, to agreeing on how much to spend, how much leisure versus adventure, how long to stay and what the return home looks like. In this new series, Chad and Angela encourage conversations that help you stay aligned in this process. Pursuers who like to plan can be perc...

Episode 9: Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- Now that they’ve shown you several places where there is tension in their relationship, Chad and Angela start to explain how you can tell there is growth in those areas. Now that you have awareness around some of the content issues, what does continued growth look like.   How do you connect in moments of distress? The only person who can really give...

Episode 8: Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- Chad and Angela are breaking down content so you can get into the process and ask yourself what is going on? In this episode Chad breaks down some of his “Raw Spots” around money. He explains that growing up his family was poor and therefore he thinks about spending. He feels the need to be fragile with the money he has. Angela explains that they hav...

Episode 7: Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- Chad and Angela are bringing up another example of a place where they got into a cycle. They break down the content and help you understand how they had a different conversation about it. The content of this ‘fight’ is building a play structure in the back yard, which is harder than it sounds because of the slope of their backyard. As they are making...

Episode 6: Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- Chad and Angela are bringing to you different areas where they have tension in our interactions and show you have to navigate the conversations. Both of us have experiences that are valid and deserve to be responded to, but when they push up against each other, who gets seen or heard? We’re trying to determine if some of these are “Raw Spots” or past...

Episode 5: Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- Chad and Angela have given a few clear examples of ‘Raw Spots’ that they had previously identified in their relationship, but now what to discuss how you know if it’s just a trigger or a little cycle, or if there is something deeper. Often times our past wounds can be around family rules or family patterns that shaped us over time but now longer work...

Episode 4: Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- Can you identify when these past wounds get triggered in a present interaction and the tie it back to something that happened in your past. This process happens in an order and needs to go slow. Don’t try to jump to the healing, if you can’t identify what is going on and what it is tied to. The good news is that we get to be the person who shows up i...

Episode 3: Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- The hard thing about “Raw Spots” is that first you have recognize that something is happening, then you have understand where it came from, and then, it would be good if you could share it with your partner so that you can get an accepting response. ALL HARD, especially when you’ve never done them before.   Angela sets up the story of her ‘Raw Spot’....

Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- We’re trying to bring forward the idea that you have residue from a past wound and your present relationship is triggering that pain and neither of you know that this cycle is based on meaning from past pain. It’s normal for us to react to pain this way. These aren’t even “big T traumas” but more a thing that happened over and over where you have developed a pa...

Connection Couples Podcast: Healing Wounds from the Past Series Episode 1: How Wounds Show Up First 5 minutes: Intro- How do would from our past show up in our present relationships. Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, wrote a book called Hold Me Tight, where she discusses 7 conversations that she suggests couples need to have to stay securely connects. In the second conversat...

Connection Couples Podcast: Addiction Series Episode 14: Responding to Pain Show Notes   Intro & First 5 minutes: Alternative Responses that come up for couples who have experienced addiction. Once there has been health and sobriety, things feel better, however, if we never go back and discuss and open up the pain, then the body holds onto it. Addiction ‘takes’ a lot from the person and from the r...

Connection Couples Podcast: Addiction Series Episode 13: Relapse Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- Relapse is part of the process. What happens in your relationship when the ‘addicted’ person relapses? Does it mean you are back at square one? Addiction and coping strategies are fluid, meaning periods and seasons of health and wellness tend to fluctuate. We can be healthy for a while, then get t...

Episode 12: Recap and Resources Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- In order to navigate these hard places, we often need a guide. We need help. We encourage you find resources and use them so that you can start to adjust the very strategies you needed when you were in an unhealthy place.   In this final episode of this series we are going to do a recap and offer resources. You might have tuned i...

Episode 11: The Partner of Addiction Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- Now that your partner has a stretch of sobriety, the partner of the addict has to adjust the tendencies of control and over managing- that were required when the addict was using- but that are now not helpful for the relationship.   Diving in to the other side of addiction, looking at the partner of someone who has had an ad...

Episode 10: Attachment Injuries Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- We have to go back, not to say I’m sorry, but to say that I recognize that damage I’ve caused has left a lasting impact and I hate that impact and want to make up for it.   Still talking about addiction and how it impacts relationships. Trying to provide a framework for understanding addition more and the long term impact it has...

Episode 9: Your Story Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- Sharing your story and how you got healthy give you assuring in your heart and in your relationships that you aren’t’ going back to the place where you were.   The fifth of the 5 action steps is embracing your story. It’s often hard to ‘own’ your story without having the first 4 action steps in place first. But once you can tell your story...

Episode 8: Relationships Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- When we are talking about relationship and community, we are referring to people who get your journey and who can support you in the process.   The 8th episode and the middle of the 5 Action Steps that support recovery. Number 4 is Relationships. Not just the married relationship you are in, but also the relationships in your life that...

Episode 7: Self-Care Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- If we are going to consider healthy self-care, we need to consider something that engages our physical body and something that challenges our mind.   We’re discussing the nuts and bolts of recovery and how we get traction in our health and sobriety. This episode is all about self-care. Angela starts with her thoughts on self-care from her e...

Episode 6: Self- Awareness Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- We have to take the time to check in. Do we have a process of checking in, especially around our areas of pain? If in don’t know what my pain is, I will comfort it somehow and not even know why or what I am doing.   We are in the 2 of 5 things that support healthy living or sobriety. The first, from the last episode, was Safe Guards....

Show Notes   First 5 minutes: Intro- We have to start to look at the reasons why we go to a substance. The story always makes sense. We want to help bring context to your struggle.   This is where we talk about how we take action. In addiction people often talk about what they aren’t going to do. “I’m not going to drink.” In this episode we start talking about, “What I AM going to do.”   As a remi...

First 5 minutes: Intro- Inaction doesn’t work in recovery. You have to have Action. You have to do something healthy or it leaves a vacuum that will possibly be filled with the wrong things. Now that we’ve acknowledged how hard it is for someone to just stop an excessive habit, let’s discuss what the process of addiction looks like. There are two researchers, Prochaska and DiClemente, who came up...