Class with Kate

Fay and Amelia are two mothers facing the same devastating realization: the pain their parents caused didn’t end in childhood. It followed them into marriage, parenting, and the way they see themselves. In this Office Hours episode, they unpack what happens when your parents can’t take accountability, can’t emotionally repair, and may never become the people you needed. But the harder question is...

What happens when you finally realize the emotional neglect and abuse you survived as a child didn’t end… it just became your marriage dynamic? In this episode, Kate breaks down why emotionally neglected children often unconsciously recreate familiar relationships in adulthood and the first steps to stopping abandoning yourself inside your marriage. Find more @CodependencyKate on Instagram, YouTub...

What happens when you stop avoiding your feelings and actually process them in real time? In this episode, Kate gets vulnerable in real time by making a “hate list” — uncovering annoyance, fear, and emotions that are usually buried beneath unwanted behaviors.  Then in Office Hours, Laura shares her fears about parenting her daughter while navigating difficult family dynamics and trying not to repe...

Linda and Emily are in different stages of marriage, but they’re asking the same question: how do you stop losing yourself while trying to make a relationship work? This episode explores emotional labor, overfunctioning, resentment, and the pressure women feel to organize their entire lives around men. Kate breaks down what it actually means to “decenter men” without becoming cold, detached, or an...

In this episode Kate talks about what a dismissive avoidant is, why it’s a problem for you, and how to deal with it once and for all. Find more @CodependencyKate on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok   www.codependencykate.com  

Mia never expected one confrontation to cost her everything. After forcing her father to come clean about an affair with her sister-in-law’s mother, her entire family turned on her — including her sister. In this Office Hours episode, Kate breaks down what happens when families protect secrets over accountability, why truth-tellers often become the scapegoat, and how estrangement can become the pr...

Two women. Two marriages. One frustrating question: What do you do when he’s trying… but it’s still not enough? In this Office Hours episode with Diana and Mary, Kate breaks down the gray area—where there’s effort, but no real repair. You’ll learn: Why change ≠ trust How to set boundaries without over-accommodating What to do when you feel stuck between hope and reality Because “better” doesn’t al...

Estrangement is painful—and for many adult children, it feels completely unfair. Because it is. In fact, IT’S BULLSHIT.   In this episode, we talk about whether reconciliation is actually possible, what real change would require, and that you don’t NEED your parents to heal.     You’ll learn how to process what happened, regulate your emotions, and move forward on your own terms—whether that inclu...

Amelia is overwhelmed. The trauma work, the awareness, the emotions—it’s all too much, and it’s starting to impact her ability to function. So what do you do when healing itself becomes the problem? Kate helps her sort through what’s actually happening—and offers a next step most people don’t expect. If you’ve ever felt like you’re “doing the work” but getting worse, this episode will challenge wh...

Two women. Two marriages. Different stages—and completely different next steps. In week two of the group format, Kate listens to both Jackie and Tina’s stories and compares what’s actually happening in each relationship—showing why the same advice doesn’t work for everyone. She helps each woman get clear on what to do next based on where they are, not where they wish they were. Then she breaks dow...

Ever found yourself crying and laughing at the same time—and then feeling confused or even ashamed? In this episode, we walk through a real-life example of what looks like “losing control” emotionally… and break down what’s actually happening underneath. Using my BEND method, you’ll learn how to: Identify what you’re actually feeling beneath the reaction Understand the unmet need driving those emo...

Chris’s daughter is finally leaving an abusive relationship—but Chris is terrified of saying the wrong thing. When your child is hurting and vulnerable, your response can either build safety… or push them back. We break down the common mistakes parents make—and how to actually show up in a way that helps. In the second half, you’ll see what real support looks like in practice—what to say, how to s...

Sarah and Tiah are living in different parts of the world—but asking the same question: How do you protect your kids when you can’t leave an abusive relationship? In this first Office Hours episode, we get honest about what survival actually looks like when escape isn’t an option. This isn’t about perfect parenting—it’s about doing what’s possible inside impossible circumstances. You’ll learn: Wha...

There’s a growing trend of parents “cutting off” their kids in the name of boundaries. But when a parent fully walks away—it’s abandonment. This episode breaks down the difference between distance and disappearance, and why parental responsibility doesn’t just expire. In Office Hours, Leandro shares his struggle to figure out how to engage with his parents after their abuse—what it means to want c...

You don’t need to hide your emotions—but your kids shouldn’t have to carry them either. In this episode, I show you how to actually feel your feelings without making your child responsible for them. Learn how to stay honest, regulated, and grounded in real time using the BEND tool—so your emotions don’t turn into pressure, guilt, or fear for your kids. This is the difference between modeling emoti...

If your house feels calm… but no one’s really honest, that’s not connection—that’s pseudomutuality. In this episode, I break down how “keeping the peace” actually shuts kids down—and what to do instead. Learn the BEND tool so you can regulate yourself in the moment instead of avoiding, snapping, or faking calm. Real connection requires real emotion. This is how you handle it without losing control...

Riley is doing everything “right”—marriage, motherhood, showing up. So why does she feel so stuck? In this episode, we unpack: -The signs of needing change: irritation and snappiness -The quiet resentment and disconnection many women don’t say out loud -What it means to feel trapped without wanting to leave -Why talk therapy isn’t always enough—and how somatic work can help -Where to start when yo...

Saying please and thank you in a relationship SOUNDS good right… but sometimes it can indicate something else: pseudomutuality. This is “fake closeness,” and over time, can erode real intimacy that is only achieved through conflict. Let’s talk about it! Find more @CodependencyKate on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok www.codependencykate.com

If you’ve ever said “I’m sorry” but nothing really changed… this episode is for you. We’re breaking down the patterns that keep people stuck in harmful relationship cycles—fake niceness, performative apologies, and control disguised as care. These behaviors don’t repair trust—they quietly destroy it. In the second half of the class, “Office Hours,” we have a call with Judy, a therapist who is stru...

Why do some marriages normalize sarcasm, teasing, and subtle disrespect? In this episode, Kate explains how “joking” can become a way unhealthy marriage patterns survive for years without being confronted. Office hours features Ray, who is struggling with distance from his teenage daughter after behavior that caused harm—and the hard truth about rebuilding trust when a child pulls away. Ray has an...

What happens when your child wants a relationship with the people who hurt you? This episode answers key questions about pseudohostility, then Pearl shares the painful reality of cutting off her parents while trying to decide whether her son should have access to them. How do you protect without overcontrolling—and when do you let a child learn for themselves? Find more @CodependencyKate on Instag...

Is your marriage peaceful—or just emotionally shut down? In this episode, we break down how pseudohostility and pseudomutuality create fake connection while real issues stay buried. Then Justine shares what happened after standing up to her father and becoming the family scapegoat. Why does speaking the truth create so much self-doubt—and how do you trust yourself when your family treats you like...

Trauma is often created in ordinary family moments—through fear, silence, emotional inconsistency, and lack of repair. The first half of this episode explores the family habits that protect children, reduce harm, and break generational cycles before they repeat. The second half involves a caller, Sam, who needs help doing this with her kids. And Kate’s advice might surprise you. Find more @Codepen...

In this episode, Mary shares her experience of divorce after 38 years of marriage following betrayal, secrecy, and blackmail involving her husband’s hidden life. She also talks about the painful distance that developed with her adult children after the divorce, and the grief of feeling caught between her own healing and their loyalty to their father. We explore long-term betrayal, family fracture,...

Suppressed anger rarely stays hidden—it often comes out as judgment, criticism, and control. In this episode, we explore why this dynamic shows up so often in family systems, especially between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Find more @CodependencyKate on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok www.codependencykate.com