Basic Snitches

Chapter 14 (of Aesop's Fables?): The Thief - We will drink wine out of (almost) anything. BABY NEEDS JELLY!!! This is where they start camping so that's all that happens the rest of the book 🤷‍♀️

Chapter 13: The Muggle Born Registration Committee- Well, our heros managed to get INTO the ministry but that's where the success ends 🤷‍♀️ Harry falls back on his old habits of being nosy AF, Ron is (as usual) twarted by his lack of real magical skill (😬), and Hermione is forced to spend time with the pink demon. They do manage to survive but not without that fucker Yaxley being in entirely too...

Chapter 12: Magic is Might - Today we're talking about chapter 12 of War and Peace...just kidding 😂 The trio and Kreacher have a domestic start to the chapter before they move into their plan to infiltrate the Ministry. We discuss how Kreacher is fluffy now that he has a nice/not evil master. We also realize that we want Yaxley dead as much as Umbridge. That guy sucks.

Chapter 11: The Bribe - In this chapter, one of our favorite characters comes back... Lupin! However, it's not really a good chapter for him 😬 We discuss the development of Tonks and Lupin's relationship and how Harry isn't exactly wrong when he calls him a coward...(maybe check your temper though, Harry) We also try to figure out how the hell patronus texting works 🤷‍♀️ PSA - we are not pro-tra...

Chapter 10: Kreacher's Tale - Tara and Adam need carbs. We finally learn who RAB is (I mean, we knew, but now the Trio knows!) and how he has amazing timing (or else Kreacher would not be alive). Also, can someone please teach us the margarita spell?

Chapter 9: A Place to Hide - Another chapter of Hermione saving everyone's ass 🤷‍♀️ We have some notes for the film....like how Hermione, instead of modifying the waitress's memory she just screams "GO! LEAVE!" ...❓Which I guess is the same thing? 🤷‍♀️And also these three idiots don't even take all those pastries from the cafe they effing destroyed 🙄 you tell the barista to GTFO and you don't...

200. Effing. Episodes. How did we get here? Here you go, Snitches, play this while watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's (Philosopher's Stone) on mute. Our Basic Snitches guests help fill in the correct dialogue. Join Adam and Tara with Ashley, Delia, Dan, Sarah, Natalie, Victoria and Bee for this wild adaptation of the first HP movie! Enjoy, friends!

Chapter 8: The Wedding - Latke chat time! Adam gets his tongue in order and Tara is speaking in a weird southern accent. Barney is a nosy dude and Muriel the Hutt is fucking annoying. Also, Bill and Fleur fuck. A lot. Not necessarily in this chapter but just assume if you don't see them, they're probably fucking🤷‍♀️

Chapter 7: The Will of Albus Dumbledore (this is chapter 7 of Harry Potter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies) - Tara is reading the version of this book with no sex in it. Lion man is annoying AF in this chapter. What does the Happy birthday song sound like in the Wizarding World? "I didn't make this fucking wand." Actual quote from the book.

Chapter 6: The Ghoul in Pajamas - Harry is back on his bullshit of wanting to leave everyone behind for their own safety. Of course, Hermione and Ron are not having any of it...and frankly, neither are we. So it's time to prep for a wedding and it's astounding how little that WIZARDS are utilizing magic...🤷‍♀️

It's our first special episode of season 7: Tara and a Bunch of Slytherins 🤣 Peggy and Natalie are here to discuss movies 5 and 6. It's glorious chaos and we are so thankful to record with two of our favorites!

Chapter 5: Fallen Warrior - Adam, your wine is ready for pickup! On top of another reminder that the seven Potters was a terrible idea, Adam and Tara also share their Wizardly Weekend of Kent experience (the good, and the ridiculous).

Chapter 4: The Seven Potters - Today Lulu and Zinbitch discuss chapter 4 of Harry Potter and the Field Wine Guide. JK, sorry this isn't actually a wine podcast 🤦‍♀️ This chapter is absolute chaos and honestly did NOT need to be... just use your invisibility cloak, Harry! Seriously though, we basically come up with at least half a dozen better ideas than everyone dressing up as Harry. PS. Hedwig d...

Chapter 3: The Dursleys Departing - This episode features a special guest: Tara's fan!!! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ (It's summer, y'all, and global warming is REAL). It's our last chapter with the Dursleys and we are not sad about it. So then it's our last chance to discuss just how shitty Vernon Dursley is...but we also get to spend some time talking about how Dudley has changed for the better. Also, it is...

Chapter 2: In Memoriam - Just a reminder that we're all changing our last names to Thickness! Adam and Tara discuss the most effective way to drink wine and are unable to give Rita Skeeter the benefit of the doubt because she's kind of terrible 🤷‍♀️

Chapter 1: The Dark Lord Ascending - Yaxley and Snape take a romantic stroll after getting coffee and take in the sights. Voldy continues his favorite pastime of refusing to admit that Harry has any skills. Nobody has extra shit in the Wizarding World. Oh, and Adam and Tara are back on their bullshit. Welcome to season 7, Snitches!

It's almost time, Snitches! Enjoy a sneak peek at the first couple of episodes to come in the final book season of Basic Snitches! And a bonus! This trailer includes returning Slytherin guests Peggy and Natalie. More to come on September 1st!

To close out season 6, we present you with all the crazy shit we haven't shared with you yet... 😂😂

In this special episode, we discuss the movies of Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire with our favorite mother-daughter duo,Jean and Delia Brennan. PS. This episode is worth it just for Delia's Snape impression and spot on summary of Prisoner of Azkaban ❤️❤️

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince book/movie wrap-up, or, an evaluation of the resume of Mr. Harry James Potter and his undeniable qualifications to maybe, just maybe , be trusted to know what he's talking about.

Chapter 30: The White Tomb - We spend a lot of time in Harry's head but that's honestly better than being around the Pink devil (who comes to Dumble's funeral for what purpose?). We also discuss the complete unimportance of Eileen Prince and how the HBP book was not evil, just misused. Tara even gives Snape a little bit of a pass... 😱

Chapter 29: The Phoenix Lament - This whole chapter takes place in the hospital wing where everything is awkward and sad. Also Fawkes is setting shit on fire and tearing things up now.

Chapter 28: Flight of the Prince (or, Snape Prances Away) Fuck that blonde death eater.

Chapter 27: The Lightening Struck Tower - Even though he's basically on Death's door, Dumble still makes sure to give Baby Death Eater some kudos for doing a good job on his woodworking project. Post Hogwarts, we need the short story series of Draco attending Magical Trade School. Tara is a bad speller but definitely knows how to spell Frenrirrr. Adam, your word is PROTEIN.  Also, Frenrirrr i...

This episode is about Snape. Episode title is still about Hagrid. Because he's better than Snape 🤷‍♀️