Basic Snitches

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince book/movie wrap-up, or, an evaluation of the resume of Mr. Harry James Potter and his undeniable qualifications to maybe, just maybe , be trusted to know what he's talking about.

Chapter 30: The White Tomb - We spend a lot of time in Harry's head but that's honestly better than being around the Pink devil (who comes to Dumble's funeral for what purpose?). We also discuss the complete unimportance of Eileen Prince and how the HBP book was not evil, just misused. Tara even gives Snape a little bit of a pass... 😱

Chapter 29: The Phoenix Lament - This whole chapter takes place in the hospital wing where everything is awkward and sad. Also Fawkes is setting shit on fire and tearing things up now.

Chapter 28: Flight of the Prince (or, Snape Prances Away) Fuck that blonde death eater.

Chapter 27: The Lightening Struck Tower - Even though he's basically on Death's door, Dumble still makes sure to give Baby Death Eater some kudos for doing a good job on his woodworking project. Post Hogwarts, we need the short story series of Draco attending Magical Trade School. Tara is a bad speller but definitely knows how to spell Frenrirrr. Adam, your word is PROTEIN.  Also, Frenrirrr i...

This episode is about Snape. Episode title is still about Hagrid. Because he's better than Snape 🤷‍♀️

Chapter 26: The Cave - It's finally vacay time!!!! Dumble and Harry arrive in Palm springs to find that the hotel accommodations were not as expected.... But at least, there are some cool water features...

Chapter 25: The Seer Overhead - So why can Slughorn give students mead but Trelawney has to hide he sherry bottles? Also, everything is Snape's fault. 🤷‍♀️

Chapter 24 - Sectumsempra Adam's house is hot and Tara is slowly removing clothing. Draco and Harry have a dick measuring contest. Again. Ginny is the actual best. Harry is an idiot. Seriously. WTF Harry. PS. Snape still sucks.

Chapter 23: Horcruxes - Dan is still here and with Dan, we get Victoria - queen of the fantastic one-liners! Seriously though, Victoria and Adam bring the chaotic energy to this episode while we highlight just how nerdy Dan is. This podcast is full of nerds. Tapeworms are gross.

SINNING IS FUN! Pausing from the book for just one week, we discuss the Seven Deadly Sins and how the characters of the series represent each one. We also take a look at the Seven Heavenly Virtues.

Chapter 22: After the Burial - On this week's episode of "wizards will pretty much drink anything you put in front of them", we discuss Slughorn and Hagrid's drunken shenanigans, continue to acknowledge Hermione as the voice of reason, and learn that Harry is really skilled at guilt tripping people...(wonder who he learned that from... )

Chapter 21: The Unknowable Room - The most important thing in this chapter is that sassy Ron is amazing 😂 Also, it's clear that both Harry AND Kreacher need to chill when it comes to their obsession with Malfoy.

Chapter 20: Lord Voldemort's Request - Brian is back and there are hot cookies! Madame Adam makes an appearance! We roast Dumble a lot here and discuss the journey of each horcrux that Voldy has made and we do an interesting word collaboration.

Chapter 19: Elf Tales - Basically, McDickface is the WORST. Also, Ron needs to grow a pair and PomPom is sassy. The taco discussion in this episode is INTENSE. Because tacos are the most important.

Chapter 18: Crispy Dick...I mean, Birthday Surprises - Everyone sucks dicks. We all know what the 3 Ds are... 🤷‍♀️

Chapter 17: A Sluggish Memory - It is canon. Ed Sheeran is a Weasley (honestly, though, he should have been Charlie Weasley in the movies). We discuss the power of Sleepytime Tea and do our best to manifest the bonus that Dawlish deserves after having to be continually embarrassed by Dumble. Also, Death Eaters could have called themselves Dark Glamour and they didn't. Missed opportunities. So, are...

Chapter 16: A Very Frosty Christmas - We get a thing from the fuuuuuuuuutuuuureeee...(I don't know, some time in October of 2080 or something 🤷‍♀️). We discuss the abuse of garden gnomes and how the ministry is still garbage. Don't worry, though, Sassy Harry is here to tell the Lion Man about himself. Adam teaches everyone the true power of do and Tara has finally been domesticated.

Chapter 15: The Unbreakable Vow - Everyone is drunk and gay Adam. Tara. And everyone at Slughorn's party. This chapter is cattiness and Christmas parties. Also where is our book about Sanguini the nice vampire who just needs a snack?

Chapter 14: Felix Felicis - THE HORMONES, Y'ALL 😳 Did you know that the reason that Hogwarts has so many empty classrooms is because Dumble fired all the math teachers??? It's canon.

Chapter 13: The Secret Riddle - Another Dumble lesson! We discuss how Harry's instincts are pretty reliable and how maybe Dumble could directly respond to him instead of ignoring his concerns about Malfoy 😒 We also discuss our vast (lack of) knowledge about mouth instruments. Intrigued by the delicious list of ice cream flavors at the start of the episode? Those can be found through Jeni's ice cr...

HAPPY NEW YEAR SNITCHES! This week we are reviewing the reviews with AJ and Jen from Podcast in Death (Tara's other podcast). This time, we just talk about the movies. Some reviewers we agree with and some should probably stay off the internet 🤷‍♀️ Enjoy and get ready to dive back into Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince next week!!!

Happy all the holidays! Thank you for another year, Qwens! We hope you enjoy this (abridged) Snitch-ified adaptation of HP5 ❤️

Chapter 12: Silver and Opals - this chapter is actually just about one of our favorite Huffleclaws, Sarah Price, is traumatized in Hogsmede 🤷‍♀️ Neil makes an appearance and honestly it's just all we've been wishing for. Teenage boys are stupid (surprise? 🤔) and Adam has had enough of Slughorn's shenanigans.

Chapter 11: Hermione's Helping Hand - Let's take a moment to think about the irony of Adam, Tara and Ashley discussing sports. We also discuss how awful it would be to teach Preschool and that wizard preschool would be absolutely out of the question. (here is also where Tara openly acknowledges that she spoke the words "way more better" in this episode and must admit that she hadn't had alcohol ye...