Basic Snitches

Chapter 35: King's Cross - Apparently you CAN fuck at King's Cross because Voldy is about to be SO fucked 🤣

Chapter 34: The Forest Again - Harry takes a little stroll, passes a torch, reunites with family, and has a nice little make out session with cocaine baby.

Chapter 33: The Prince's Tale - This is apparently where we are supposed to stop hating Snape for being a piece of shit. Don't worry. We don't.

Chapter 32: The Elder Wand - Adam writes one of the greatest things ever written...even though Tara stole all his adjectives. Again.

Chapter 31: The Battle of Hogwarts - Harry figures stuff out! We're so proud even though he's a dummy dumb dumb. Harry's interrogation tactics are just to be a dick, but hey, it's effective. Harry sees a statue and it reminds him of another statue. Everyone goes on vacation to Albania and Tom is the strangest name ever. Adam gives us all a lesson in the floor plans of Hogwarts thanks to his b...

Chapter 30: The Sacking of Severus Snape - Amycus and Alexto suck. McG and Luna are badass. Slughorn is a walrus. The movie is...eh...okay? They don't have the budget for us to see the Ravenclaw common room and they're not paying John Cleese, so... 🤷‍♀️

Chapter 29: The Lost Diadem - in this episode we ask the important questions: Why are there so many crowns in this series? Why is Cho back at Hogwarts? Why are Adam and Tara so amazing at the word association game?

Chapter 28: The Missing Mirror - Congratulations on your new couch, Adam!!! Aberforth is fed up, Harry is determined, Ariana Grande is bffs with Neville.

Chapter 27: The Final Hiding Place - THEY RIDE A DRAGOON 😁😁😁 Ron is sassy. Hermione is prepared. Harry gets to see into Voldy's head (so all usual stuff). And it's time to go home ❤️🏰

Chapter 26: Gringotts - if Tara and Adam were wizards they would steal furniture from Parma. The trio and Griphook go on a field trip, Hermione is too friendly and Harry learns a new spell! Justice for dragoon!!!

Chapter 25: Shell Cottage - Adam and Tara discuss the importance of wearing crowns for every day tasks and Harry becomes a grandfather. Oh, and "daddy" is an adjective now.

Chapter 24: The Wandmaker - We love the coziness of Shell Cottage and spending time with Bill and Fleur. The trio interrogate Griphook and Ollivander and Tara rants about how stupid Voldy and his crew were to not make Ollivander make them extra wands...

Highly combustible, O2 is BACK and we are two Slytherins and two Gryffindors together determining which is the best magical creature out there! New facts that are absolute canon about magical creatures: Sirius Black is a Disney princess and makes friends with all the woodland creatures The Giant Squid (aka: Adam) is lazy but effective Thestrals are the Ford F150s of the series

Chapter 23: Malfoy Manor - Fucking Frenrrrrrr is back 😒 Seriously - fuck that guy. But we do get to reunite with Luna 😍 So much- like the longest thing maybe ever was written-SO much happens in this chapter. RIP Skinny Dick. Actually no. Fuck that guy.

Chapter 22: The Deathly Hallows - Canon: Lee Jordan will dethrone Rita Skeeter in the wizarding media world. Harry needs to travel to the future to listen to Basic Snitches so he knows to refer to Voldy as Cocaine Baby, obviously. Then he wouldn't have broken the taboo 🤷‍♀️ We play a new game. For funsies. Adam is maybe impressed 😂 Did you know you can travel from Hogwarts to Bouxbatons through...

Chapter 21: The Deathly Hollows - Soooooo...the big question here is why is a story that includes murder and suicide something being told to CHILDREN? Anyway, Luna is the best. Also there are lots of spoilers in this episode... Even though this is not a spoiler free podcast (Nor is it a Twilight podcast thank you very much no) We figured we would let you know about all the spoilers 🤷‍♀️

Chapter 20: Xenophillius Lovegood - RON IS TRYING GIVE HIM CREDIT We get to go visit X and, after 20 chapters, we finally are about to find out the meaning of the title of this book!

Chapter 19: The Silver Doe - Merry Christmas to Bentley, the little thief making all the noise in the background 😂 People do not give water the respect it deserves! Anyway this chapter is actually about terrifying ways to die (drowning), and how Ron is a fucking hero. Also, what would it be like if Snape's first name was Larry? Everything is fixed.

Chapter 18: The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore - This chapter is really just a lot of gay jokes and Hermione being a book thief Tara is filled with all the accents today... Did you know that you can only pull the sword of Gryffindor out of a hat or a hag?? ...or Harry.

Welcome to the Snitch Game! This is the Basic Snitches version of Match Game and Snatch Game and it's everything you never needed! Starring Natalie as the contestant, and Adam as our host, listen and find out who she will match with!! Will it be everyone's favorite sensible and logical DADA professor, Remus Lupin (Victoria)? Or the Hungarian Horntail with the heavy accent (Ashley)? How about a str...

Our annual holiday gift to you - A whole HP book condensed to the highlights according to us 🤣😉 Merry Holidays!

Chapter 17: Bathilda's Secret- Spoiler: SHE A SNAKE! 😳 Also, Adam and Tara finally get One Word at a Time right!!

Chapter 16: Godric's Hollow - Brian and Sarah are back to discuss this super sad chapter. Though it's not a terribly eventful chapter we spend a good amount of time taking about the film's choice to have Harry and Hermione share that super awkward dance.

Hiiiiiiii! Welcome to our second special episode on Puffs, or Seven Increasingly Eventful Years at a Certain School of Magic and Magic ! Two of our favorite Snitches are back as we reminisce about our time as Puffs 💛🖤 Thank you to Darcy for the questions and thank you to Matt Cox for giving us a beautiful and hilarious show with so much heart and hugs. Please be our friend! #thirdornothing🦡

Chapter 15: The Goblins' Revenge - CAMPING IS FUN Also, the trio get to be nosy bitches, just like the good ol' days... until Ron leaves like a little bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch (Tara took all Adam's adjectives)