Untoxicated Podcast

The results are in! More than physical features, more than financial resources, people are looking for Kindness and Emotional Safety in potential partners and within committed relationships. Matt shares the results of our recent survey taken by many podcast listeners, and Sheri reveals her answers to the research questions. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from co...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “3 Things I Love about Friendsgiving” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “3 Things I Love about Friendsgiving” To read this and much more,...

It is easy to calculate the costs associated with dissolving a relationship, but when people fight to stay together, they often fail to analyze the costs of maintaining the partnership. Sheri and Matt discuss the costs of marriage that linger even after years of individual recovery from alcoholism. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who u...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Emotional Safety is a Dying Fad” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Emotional Safety is a Dying Fad” To read this and much more, c...

Introducing our new quarterly series with listener questions answered by Lara Hammock, licenced clinical social worker and mental health therapist working with both individuals and couples. Topics covered on this episode range from attachment styles to childhood trauma, therapeutic techniques to reestablishing intimacy, and much more. Please send questions for Lara’s next episode to matt@Sob...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “I Wish She Would Die” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “I Wish She Would Die” Click here  to take our survey on attraction and relation...

Humans are complicated, and when we lose someone, or separate from someone, we have to reconcile the good memories and the bad. Yes, there is relief that the trauma and toxicity are over. But getting to the feeling of relief…that is a challenge that deserves attention. Click here  to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could b...

“I made myself small to cope.” This is a sentiment expressed by the loved ones of alcoholics who get used to walking on egg shells, and also the alcoholics themselves who shrink to avoid detection about the extent of their drinking. Sheri and Matt talk about finding their voices in recovery, including the introduction of the concept of sacrifice as an aspect of Emotional Masculinity. C...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Atrophied Intelligence” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Atrophied Intelligence” Click here  to take our survey on attraction and rela...

When relationships deteriorate, as frequently happens in an alcoholic marriage, partners often stay together clinging to the romantic fairytale or because of binding dysfunction that makes leaving feel impossible. In this episode, Sheri and Matt highlight 11 common examples. Click here  to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could b...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “The Divorce Rate is Too Low” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “The Divorce Rate is Too Low” Click here  to take our survey on attractio...

In order for relationships to evolve to meet the demands of consistent emotional safety, many of us need to first understand the assignment. On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss how masculinity can evolve to provide and protect emotional safety in partnerships and families. Click here  to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Bizarre at the Boathouse, Part 2” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Bizarre at the Boathouse, Part 2” Click here  to take our survey on...

Sex in a committed partnership should never be considered obligatory. Sex should be earned, and on this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the sequence of events that leads to mutually satisfying sex. If there is drinking in your relationship that is blamed on the lack of sex, this episode is for you. Click here  to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you love or loved an alcoholic, a...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Bizarre at the Boathouse, Part 1” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Bizarre at the Boathouse, Part 1” Click here  to take our survey on...

Lundy Bancroft is the author of the world’s best selling book on domestic violence titled, “ Why Does He Do That? ” He has spent the last three decades counseling men who abuse and consulting with their victims. On this episode, Lundy explains that, “An active alcoholic will never deal with his abusiveness,” and about a million other fascinating aspects of all kinds o...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Progress” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Progress” Click here  to take our survey on attraction and relationships. To read this and...

Our society has changed dramatically in the last century, and the gender gap has been almost completely eliminated. But our culture still has some catching up to do. Sheri and Matt explore the concept of emotional masculinity, taking emotional safety to the next level. If you are a man trying to figure out your role or identity, this conversation is for you. Click here  to take our survey on attra...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Yummy Summer of Turd” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Yummy Summer of Turd” Click here  to take our survey on attraction and relation...

From high school through young adulthood, the pressure felt by people in their teens and 20s is unlike anything experienced by preceding generations. Sheri and Matt offer evidence of the enormous stress of entering adulthood, speculate about the causes, and discuss what we all can do to alleviate the pressure (hint: we can’t wait for government policy intervention). Click here  to take our s...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Rubber Stamping a Toxic Culture” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Rubber Stamping a Toxic Culture” Click here  to take our survey on a...

There is comfort in assigning the blame for relationship dysfunction and emotional abuse on the alcohol or the addiction. But what if we could make a cultural shift to prevent the need for blame and  shame? Sheri and Matt discuss what would happen if we added emotional abuse to the list of behaviors that cross a clear red line. Click here  to take our survey on attraction and relationships. If you...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Senseless Urgency” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Senseless Urgency” Click here  to take our survey on attraction and relationships....

Lara Hammock is a licenced clinical social worker and mental health therapist working with both individuals and couples. She is creative and inventive, and Lara joins Sheri and Matt to share her COME-TO method to complain constructively. Listeners who like a great acronym, and love to hear Sheri tell it like it is, will enjoy hearing Sheri process a real life complaint she has about Matt. Check ou...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “A.B.D.” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “A.B.D.” Click here  to take our survey on attraction and relationships. To read this and much...