Untoxicated Podcast

This is the audio version of the essay from my  Underlying Issues Substack. To subscribe to read about more of my underlying issues, please click this link or go to substack.com and search for the  Underlying Issues publication.

Being judged for our actions and opinions is one thing. Feeling judged long after the judgement has stopped is something else entirely. Moving past the feelings judgement takes the hard work and patience of growth and discovery. Please go to  UntoxicatedSurvey.org  to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner,...

This is the audio version of the essay from my  Underlying Issues Substack. To subscribe to read about more of my underlying issues, please click this link or go to substack.com and search for the  Underlying Issues publication.

We all know that accountability involves assessing and accepting blame, but it goes much deeper. Accountability is also about asking why and getting to the root causes and underlying issues. Sheri and Matt discuss several scenarios, and Matt is genuinely surprised to realize he is the owner of all the accountability. Most of it, anyway. Please go to  UntoxicatedSurvey.org  to better understand the...

This is the audio version of the essay from my  Underlying Issues Substack. To subscribe to read about more of my underlying issues, please click this link or go to substack.com and search for the  Underlying Issues publication.

Regular listeners of the  Untoxicated Podcast have surely noticed Sheri’s cough. On this episode, she shares the therapeutic work she is doing, both physical and psychological, to reduce or eliminate her throat pain, neck strain, and chronic cough. While she is encouraged by her progress and enthusiastic about the outcome, she also talks about her disappointment that she still cares about Ma...

This is the audio version of the essay from my  Underlying Issues Substack. To subscribe to read about more of my underlying issues, please click this link or go to substack.com and search for the  Underlying Issues publication.

Have you reached midlife with lots of skills and experiences, but with a nagging feeling that those tools are leaving you unfulfilled, and doubling down just isn’t working anymore? Are you ready for your second story, but you need to reframe your goals and aspirations? Shari Caudron is a journalist, an essayist, a memoirist, and Matt’s writing coach, and she joins Sheri and Matt to sha...

This is the audio version of the essay from my  Underlying Issues Substack. To subscribe to read about more of my underlying issues, please click this link or go to substack.com and search for the  Underlying Issues publication.

The partners of people with drinking problems learn about things like boundary setting and detachment. But implementation is about more than understanding and intent. Knowing on a conscious level is the first step, but on this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about how critical it is to retrain the nervous system to accept and endorse the new behaviors. Please go to  UntoxicatedSurvey.org  to better u...

Not all relapses involve alcohol. Sheri offers five effective tactics to navigate the emotional relapse of a partner while continuing to protect your own safety and growth. Please go to  UntoxicatedSurvey.org  to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t rea...

Lara Hammock is The Illustrating Therapist and she uses drawings to make relationship patterns easier to see. On this quarterly visit with Sheri and Matt, Lara talks about the importance of having a willingness to change, the emotions that follow the behaviors of detachment (cold anger), and the treatment methods for chaos or productivity addiction. Please check out Lara’s The Illustrating T...

Our three panelists have a ton of experience being large and in-charge at work, then melting under the anxiety, uncertainty, and emotional abuse of living with alcoholism at home. What a confusing and demoralizing divergent existence. Hear how it feels to be effective and successful, and then also insecure and traumatized, all in the same day, over and over again. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.or...

When people in committed relationships experience the alcoholism of one of the partners, it is widely assumed that relationship recovery is the ultimate goal. But does that make separation or divorce a sign of failure? Sheri and Matt discuss the relief that often accompanies living alone after relationship trauma, and who benefits the most. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand t...

What is the connection between addiction and never truly feeling content? We talk a lot about underlying issues for alcoholism - things like childhood trauma and financial stress. But what about when we chase external fulfillment because we are incapable of internal fulfillment? We pursue chaos because we are not comfortable being content. And what is it like to be in a relationship with someone w...

What is it like to feel safe to speak your mind and explore your emotions? No fear of reaction. No one telling you what to do. Listen to Jen, Nikki, Mike, Tara, Jennifer, and Avia explain the value they find in growing and recovering in a no-judgement zone on this roundtable discussion live from the Echoes of Recovery 2026 summer retreat in the Colorado Rocky Mountains. Please go to UntoxicatedSur...

What is sober living, anyway? If an alcoholic has completed detox and treatment, why do they need a sober living environment? Matt used to think sober living was a sign of weakness, and Sheri thought it was a place where they used nicotine as a wall covering. But once they met Kyle, Rebecca, and Nathan, this episode's panelists, Sheri and Matt learned the incredible value of sober living for forme...

Leading experts in alcoholism recovery promote that the partner and other family members of the drinker play a role in the drinker's sobriety. Sheri and Matt disagree. What do you think? Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety...

Overstaying at the party, making grandiose plans, saying stupid stuff, passing out in public, missing all the social cues: Sheri and Matt talk about his behavior in his intoxicated summers, and how it impacted her and their kids. If you hear examples that feel familiar, please know that it is not OK and you are not alone. Please go to  UntoxicatedSurvey.org  to better understand the impact of alco...

Emotional safety is critically important to both relationship recovery, and also individual growth and discovery. We are triggered to soothe when we don’t feel safe, and authentic connection is impossible without safety. Sheri and Matt suggest the things that help them feel more individually safe, and mourn connections lost. Please go to  UntoxicatedSurvey.org  to better understand the impac...

Matt understands that his drinking and past emotionally unsafe behavior created for Sheri triggers and traumas. Reaching that understanding was a slow evolution through years of curiosity and growth for them both. On this episode, the couple talks about progressing from, “I got sober for you. What more do you want from me?” through all the stages of awakening and awareness. They also t...

When asked about the impact on a relationship when an intoxicated partner begs for or demands sex, and the coercion works because the drinker’s partner is trying to keep the peace, Amanda Dames tells Sheri and Matt that the dynamic damages trust. And the partner who agrees to unwanted sex is using her body to find or maintain safety. Amanda Dames is a sexologist, a somatic certified sex and...

Sheri and Matt have covered the ways emotional safety improves relationship dynamic for the person on the receiving end: nervous system regulation, peace and relaxation, and comfort being authentic and vulnerable. In this episode, they consider the benefits for the person providing the emotional safety. Don’t do it just for her. Do it for yourself, too. Please go to  UntoxicatedSurvey.org  t...

This is the latest essay from our  Untoxicated Blog . To read our hundreds of essays on drinking, emotional safety, and the underlying issues of addiction, please go to  SoberAndUnashamed.com . We hope you get a lot out of: “Requisite” That’s a picture of my bride from the summer we got married. Isn’t she cute? It’s a digital capture of a real photo taken with a camera that doesn’t make or receive...

Jane is an Echoes of Recovery OG who taught us to call our growth and healing work, “Discovery,” because there is no going back. After six years of podcast appearances, Jane enlightens Sheri and Matt, once again, revealing the connection between working to physically strengthen and heal the body, and working to ease the pain of trauma and loss. What she is doing in the physical health...