The Feminist Dating Show

If you want to date IRL and find your person, but you see someone cute and your body locks up, this episode is for you. Freezing is a somatic response. It is your nervous system protecting you from fears like: What if they reject me? I'm definitely not their type. They're probably coupled. Why even try? In this episode, I'm naming each of these fears for what it is, and giving you the reframes and...

How do you date men when you hate men? It can be a tough question, especially if you've never seen that what you want and who you want exists. Both/and in this episode, I'm your feminist dating coach. And especially if you date men, I'm here to show you how to attract the feminist, emotionally intelligent, fights-for-women's-rights kind of man you desire. You are for the few, not the many. And thi...

You don't have to be on dating apps to be "trying" in your dating life. This episode gives you the alternative strategy that has worked for hundreds of my clients (and worked for me to meet my husband). In this episode, you'll learn exactly how to date IRL. Inside episode 284: → Why "I don't chase, I attract" is one of my least favorite pieces of dating advice, and how it is negatively impacting y...

In episode 283, I'm getting personal about how people pleasing made me settle in dating, friendship, and work, how it led to panic attacks on my lunch break, and the three-step formula I used to quit, one small choice at a time. → I thought I was and wanted "too much," and how that kept me in a relationship where none of my emotional needs were met → How people pleasing was showing up in every rel...

Jackie was burnt out to a crisp. She was in a job she felt trapped in, because the story was that she had to be of service no matter how she felt. She had taken a sabbatical that was supposed to be two or three months, and it took her a couple of months just to relax. She came back and was immediately depressed. She couldn't see the forest through the trees. She had no vision. She just wanted to l...

The way you do one thing is the way you do everything. So when you're stressed about the question "when is the right time to have sex??" and outsource your answer to another dating expert or another tiktoker, I hear an opportunity to build a life changing skillset that will create clarity for this question (and all questions).... That skillset? Self-trust. When you build the skill set of self-trus...

The good, reliable, everyone-comes-to-me best friend. You've been praised for that role your whole life. What if it's the reason you can't get yourself to shoot your shot, ask for more, or take up space with your desires?   This episode names the pattern hiding under all of it: people pleasing. Not being nice. The habit of self-abandoning in real time to avoid being misunderstood, judged, or aband...

You've been waiting to feel ready. Ready enough to launch the thing, shoot your shot, ask for the promotion you've been researching and figuring out the pitch for for months. Here's the hot take: you're stalling what you want because of the fear that you're not enough for it. The fear of failure, of judgement, of "not enoughness" has driven your car for long enough. So in this episode, I get a lit...

Here are 3 signs you're demoting yourself to the "best friend" role in love, friendship, and work... You're the designated listener in your friendships, always the one reaching out first, making the plans, overgiving and caretaking. In dating, you're hesitating to ask for what you want for fear of scaring them off, settling for good enough or settling for inaction. At work, you're logging in past...

If approaching a cutie in the wild makes you nauseous… If you "aren't the type of person" to make eye contact with hotties in the wild… If the thought of asking someone out in-person makes your butthole clench up… If you want to try in-person dating, but feel overwhelmed and anxiety-filled at HOW to start. This episode is for you.    💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please:  https://datebrazen.com...

If you've ever feared that you're not attractive or desirable  because it's never happened before , this episode is a must-listen. Lily breaks down the internalized fears many late bloomers carry—and how to reframe those thoughts with compassion, context, and confidence using her signature ACK mindset tool (Acknowledge, Compassion, Kind Reframe). You'll also get a powerful challenge to reconnect w...

You want to flirt IRL. But you're scared to start... The Flirting Ladder is exactly how you will build the skills to become an expert, confident flirter! This is the exact tool Lily teaches inside Main Character Dating to take you from frozen with fear to flirting with confidence. In this episode: → Flirting is joyful, courageous connection. Not a performance, not a personality trait some people a...

Today we're talking about making the impossible happen. So if you think finding love is impossible for you, this is the episode for you. You've done it before. The friendship you didn't know you needed. The job that used to be a pipe dream and is now a no-duh. Your love life is next.   Work with Lily: ■ Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book ■ Join the Main Character Dat...

If rejection makes you want to hide under the covers and never date again—this episode is your roadmap back to brave action.   In this Episode Spotlight, Lily shares one of her most painful rejections from her dating life, how it nearly derailed her belief in love, and the five-step Rejection Resilience Side Quest she created to help late bloomers build the skill of shooting their shot without spi...

This episode of The Feminist Dating Show is a juicy one-- I'm responding to a listener's voicemail about feeling completely hopeless after being ghosted... And after validating the hell out of her (because getting ghosted SUCKS), I got down to answering her question with a tactical action plan: How do you build hope in your dating life after so much disappointment? Is it even realistic to be hopef...

If you feel like a late bloomer, and you're fearful that will come off like a "red flag" when you start dating, this is for you. This is a live coaching session with Dana, a healthcare worker who's never been in a long-term relationship and is wondering if it's too late for her. In one hour, Lily helps her build a full dating system from scratch. Inside this episode: 💎 Why you're for the few, not...

You know that spiral where you replay a conversation for hours, convinced you said the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time? Lily's got one sentence that ends it. This week's Episode Spotlight revisits the piece of advice that went viral for a reason: you cannot say the wrong thing to the right person. Inside this episode: ✨ The exact moment on a first date Lily talked about her ex f...

If you've never been in a relationship before, or never been in a good one, and you identify with feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, or overwhelm when it comes to dating, and you just feel like it's impossible for you to find love and it's all over. This episode is for you. This is exactly what I would do if I was your dating coach in the next three weeks, so you could build a joyful dating life,...

Your brain is convinced it knows how your love story ends. It's gathered all the evidence from your past and decided: this is just how it is. But your brain is not a fortune teller. It's a safety mechanism. And it is working with about 1% of the data. In this episode of The Feminist Dating Show, Lily breaks down three reasons you might just be wrong that finding love is impossible — and why more i...

Okay, let's say finding love is 100% all luck. A few weeks ago I shared my take: finding love is proximity to opportunity plus courageous behavior in the face of it. I got a lot of comments that said, "You're wrong, it's just 100% luck." So let's run the thought experiment. If finding love is 100% about luck... what creates the conditions for luck to occur? What even is luck? And how do you become...

You want dating to feel like something you're in charge of, that is going your way, not something that's happening to you. That shift-- from anxious hustle to magnetic momentum-- is what this episode is about. This week on The Feminist Dating Show, Lily breaks down the three levels of dating energy and exactly how to move from bothered and stressed to unbothered in your love life. Inside episode 2...

This episode gets into why now is the best time to powerfully date — and why how you show up in your dating life is already changing the rest of your life, whether you realize it or not.   Inside this episode: Your brain fears rejection the same way it fears death. That's not a dramatic spiral. It's neurobiology, and understanding it changes how much you let fear stop you. Women are socialized not...

If you want to meet someone IRL, but the "how" feels like a total mystery.... This episode tells you exactly why it hasn't happened yet and what to do about it. Inside episode 270: → The two things that determine whether you meet people IRL: proximity to opportunity and courageous behavior in the face of it → What joy building is and why it works →What shooting your shot looks like when you're shy...

You already know what the worst case scenario looks like. Your brain has mapped it out in extraordinary detail (in its attempt to keep you safe from rejection and vulnerability).  This episode is about what happens when you let the best case scenario take up some of that space too. In this episode, Lily walks you through a best case scenario practice designed to open your brain up to possibility t...

In this episode, Lily unpacks the fear, "Will I just die alone", that showed up dozens of times in her Instagram DMs, and walks you through what to actually do with it.   Inside this episode: Why this fear feels too shameful to say out loud, and why that shame is exactly the reason you need to say it The seesaw dynamic keeping you stuck between hope and hopelessness, and how to step off it for goo...