The Feminist Dating Show

This episode of The Feminist Dating Show is a juicy one-- I'm responding to a listener's voicemail about feeling completely hopeless after being ghosted... And after validating the hell out of her (because getting ghosted SUCKS), I got down to answering her question with a tactical action plan: How do you build hope in your dating life after so much disappointment? Is it even realistic to be hopef...

If you feel like a late bloomer, and you're fearful that will come off like a "red flag" when you start dating, this is for you. This is a live coaching session with Dana, a healthcare worker who's never been in a long-term relationship and is wondering if it's too late for her. In one hour, Lily helps her build a full dating system from scratch. Inside this episode: 💎 Why you're for the few, not...

You know that spiral where you replay a conversation for hours, convinced you said the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time? Lily's got one sentence that ends it. This week's Episode Spotlight revisits the piece of advice that went viral for a reason: you cannot say the wrong thing to the right person. Inside this episode: ✨ The exact moment on a first date Lily talked about her ex f...

If you've never been in a relationship before, or never been in a good one, and you identify with feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, or overwhelm when it comes to dating, and you just feel like it's impossible for you to find love and it's all over. This episode is for you. This is exactly what I would do if I was your dating coach in the next three weeks, so you could build a joyful dating life,...

Your brain is convinced it knows how your love story ends. It's gathered all the evidence from your past and decided: this is just how it is. But your brain is not a fortune teller. It's a safety mechanism. And it is working with about 1% of the data. In this episode of The Feminist Dating Show, Lily breaks down three reasons you might just be wrong that finding love is impossible — and why more i...

Okay, let's say finding love is 100% all luck. A few weeks ago I shared my take: finding love is proximity to opportunity plus courageous behavior in the face of it. I got a lot of comments that said, "You're wrong, it's just 100% luck." So let's run the thought experiment. If finding love is 100% about luck... what creates the conditions for luck to occur? What even is luck? And how do you become...

You want dating to feel like something you're in charge of, that is going your way, not something that's happening to you. That shift-- from anxious hustle to magnetic momentum-- is what this episode is about. This week on The Feminist Dating Show, Lily breaks down the three levels of dating energy and exactly how to move from bothered and stressed to unbothered in your love life. Inside episode 2...

This episode gets into why now is the best time to powerfully date — and why how you show up in your dating life is already changing the rest of your life, whether you realize it or not.   Inside this episode: Your brain fears rejection the same way it fears death. That's not a dramatic spiral. It's neurobiology, and understanding it changes how much you let fear stop you. Women are socialized not...

If you want to meet someone IRL, but the "how" feels like a total mystery.... This episode tells you exactly why it hasn't happened yet and what to do about it. Inside episode 270: → The two things that determine whether you meet people IRL: proximity to opportunity and courageous behavior in the face of it → What joy building is and why it works →What shooting your shot looks like when you're shy...

You already know what the worst case scenario looks like. Your brain has mapped it out in extraordinary detail (in its attempt to keep you safe from rejection and vulnerability).  This episode is about what happens when you let the best case scenario take up some of that space too. In this episode, Lily walks you through a best case scenario practice designed to open your brain up to possibility t...

In this episode, Lily unpacks the fear, "Will I just die alone", that showed up dozens of times in her Instagram DMs, and walks you through what to actually do with it.   Inside this episode: Why this fear feels too shameful to say out loud, and why that shame is exactly the reason you need to say it The seesaw dynamic keeping you stuck between hope and hopelessness, and how to step off it for goo...

If you want to walk into a coffee shop, a bookstore, or a comic book store this summer and actually know how to say hi to someone you find cute, this episode gives you a step-by-step flirting framework you can use the next time you leave your house. Flirting is a buildable skill — not a secret language, not a personality trait. Here is the exact process. Step one: how to open a conversation with a...

If you have zero dating experience and you want to find the right partner, this episode gives you six tools for late bloomers to start dating successfully. From zero experience to finding the right partner, without the patriarchal nonsense or the spiral. Step one is dropping the shame — and the actual skill that makes that possible (hint: it's not positive thinking, and it's not logic) Step two is...

Finding love isn't just luck or timing.   It comes down to two learnable skills. Episode 269 of The Feminist Dating Show breaks both of them down so you can start practicing today.   Inside this episode: ✨ The reason going on more dates won't get you closer to the right person. Dating is not a numbers game. It's an act of self-trust. ✨ Proximity to aligned opportunity: why most people are either...

If you want to date men AND you want to decenter men... This week's episode of The Feminist Dating Show (episode 268) is a giant permission slip. Because most dating advice is telling you to go on more dates, give more people a chance, stop being so picky. And all of that is designed to exhaust you into settling. (and you deserve more) Decentering men doesn't mean never dating a man again. It mean...

Dating in your main character energy means more access to everything you want. More connection. More aliveness. More of the good stuff. It also means more rejection. BOO. Rejection doesn't have to mean anything about you. It's a filter, getting the wrong people out of the way. And the fear of it is one of the top forces stopping people from going after what they want. This episode is your rejectio...

Cora left an unhealthy marriage, deconstructed her entire evangelical upbringing, bought her first house, and raised two 16-year-olds solo. Then she met someone really good on Hinge. Who met all of her essence-based preferences. And she almost talked herself out of it. Not because he did anything wrong. Because she felt ashamed for wanting partnership after working so hard to become independent. I...

If you have a great life and dating just doesn't feel like part of it — this one's for you. In episode 265, I'm coaching Christina live. She's 36, has a great life, one long-term relationship under her belt, and is asking the question a lot of you are quietly asking: is it even worth it to try dating after so much disappointment? She's frustrated by the single tax — the emotional and financial cos...

Here's the secret of flirting... Every single person you've ever wanted to talk to — the cute stranger on the subway, the guy at the coffee shop, the woman you keep seeing at the farmers market — is also in their head. Every. Single. One. And yet most of us walk around convinced that WE are the only ones who are awkward, anxious, and completely clueless about flirting. This week on The Feminist Da...

If you've ever opened a dating app and immediately wanted to throw your phone across the room — this one's for you.   In episode 263 of the Feminist Dating Show, I'm coaching Kayla live. This episode is for you if you relate to any of this:   You open a dating app and immediately spiral into, "What if they make me uncomfortable?" or "what if I say something stupid?" You avoid swiping because judgi...

This one's for you if dating has started to feel like a hamster wheel of painful experiences… and you keep thinking: I've done so much work on myself—why is this still so hard?   In this live session, I coach Quinn through: the loop of type vs. essence-based preferences the fear of being "too much" in dating what to do when uncertainty triggers a full-body spiral how to tell if your "picker is bro...

Have you ever wondered if you're "too late" because dating has never worked the way it seems to work for everyone else?   My client Liz joined Main Character Dating at 38 having never been in a long-term relationship. She felt behind, alone, and unsure how to even do dating.   What shifted for Liz inside Main Character Dating was hope .   No more dating shame.   And an action plan that helped her...

In this episode, I'm sharing my 10 rules of feminist dating—the principles I know actually lead to an equitable, joyful partnership. No matter your past experience (or lack of experience), your age, or your sexuality, these rules are here to help you magnetize the right partner and feel amazing doing it.  These 10 rules are a response to outdated, patriarchal dating advice that teaches you to shri...

In this episode, I'm sharing a transparent update about the podcast: why I decided to rename it  The Feminist Dating Show . I talk through the intention behind the previous name, what I heard from listeners over time, and why I want the podcast name to immediately feel inclusive and clear—especially for people who are new to this work. Feminist dating has always been the value system underneath ev...

If the holidays bring up nerves about being single — the questions, the pressure, the comparisons — this episode is your Holiday Dating Survival Guide . It's a warm, grounding replay packed with self-compassion, boundaries that protect your peace, and real scripts for handling conversations about your dating life. Inside, Lily shares: how to release the self-judgment we've all internalized from pa...