Says Who?

It’s Maureen this time. She’s had it. Her brain made like a firework and blew up in New York. She needs to relax, do a little yoga. Dan’s on it. He wants to talk to her about Disney... and their reopening plans. Or books!... written by Trump family members. Or DoJo being, well, DoJo. Dan yoga is the worst yoga. Namaste? Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patre...

What’s that? Oh, just some pre-Fourth of July fireworks. They happen every night now in New York. It’s festive! Maureen loves it. She loves the fireworks and how everyone is out in the street without a mask because everything is fixed now! Wait, Dan is saying something. He’s saying things are not fixed. In fact, they are the opposite of fixed. He is pointing at a chart. Dan looks at charts a lot....

It’s been a long week, SaysWhovia. Actually, it’s been a long fourteen weeks. Dan has kind of had it. Fourteen weeks indoors and COVID is taking hold more than ever in some places even as they open up. Dan has been looking at the charts and he is done. Done . Maureen attempts to provide therapy. Perhaps they can talk about how famous figures have dealt with disappointment. Like, say, someone who w...

Welcome back to SaysWhovia! Dan and Maureen are back on their bullshit, which means they are back on the bullshit of others. Ted Cruz is trying to get an actor to wrestle Jim Jordan, because that is the kind of sentence we have to say in 2020. A Republican congressperson gets COVID and just can’t work out how it could possibly have happened, since he’s only gone out constantly and been touching ev...

Hello, SaysWhovia. We took last week off out of respect for the events currently taking place. We return this week to see where we are now, and where we might be going. To help us look at the protests, the state of the union, the COVID crisis, and, because this is Says Who, a little Disney, we are joined by our friend Akilah Hughes. We will be donating this month’s Patreon contribution to the Move...

It’s summertime in SaysWhovia! Time for surf! Sand! Sun! Staying indoors! JUST STAY INDOORS! That’s what Dan and Maureen have been doing. They stay inside! But not everyone can say the same. The President is golfing again. People around the US are crowding into gross swimming pool bars. Disorganized reopenings are happening haphazardly all over. Who needs a plan? No one! Meanwhile, in the UK, a ma...

It’s been a busy week, SaysWhovia. For the first time in a while, Dan and Maureen are here to talk about the news and not just what they are bleaching.  The President’s Goons are going in and out of jail—mostly out. It turns out you can do a crime and say you did the crime and it’s okay.  The President himself has come out with some new medical advice. He’s been getting letters. Lots of letters. I...

Food. We all like it. We all eat it. We all have it served to us by a special military valet. So let's talk about food in lockdown with notable food writer and best person Helen Rosner. Oh, but first, Dan and Maureen do a little run down of what’s going on in the White House. Unbelievably, after taking absolutely no precautions, COVID-19 has shown up in those hallowed halls. The President’s Diet C...

Peek a boo! It’s Dan and Maureen! Behind you! Surprise! It’s been another indoor week, and Dan and Maureen are doing… fine? They don’t know anymore. They cannot remember the Before Times. But they’re pretty used to it all now. They go over the regular things, handwashing, types of beans, things you can do in a basement. But, in a change of pace from the last few weeks, they remember there is Other...

Oh hello, SaysWhovia! You caught us at home! How fortunate. It’s been… 50 days? Something like that. And here we are. Dan and Maureen are doing pretty well. There is the usual talk of bleach and masks. They discuss the need to keep busy and the feeling of not getting anything done. After all, one must count one’s beans and clean the doorknobs. But! There are other things going on! More traditional...

Here we are again, SaysWhovia! Back on the sofa at the Says Who coffee shop! What? You never noticed the coffee shop? It’s always been here.  Always.  And there’s Dan and Maureen drinking out of really big mugs! They’re here to walk you through the week’s events including when you'll finally be able to get that facial and go bowling in Georgia. Or, the history of Pier 1 Imports! And the show Frien...

It’s…*checks calendar* *calendar bursts into flames*… who knows? Does it matter? It’s some day of the week! It’s SAYS WHO DAY! What’s been going on with Dan and Maureen? Well, Dan’s been making masks. And Maureen went to the store one time! But no one can live at this rapid pace for long, so they are going to relax and talk about stuff they remember. Like biking around the neighborhood, and riding...

Well, SaysWhovia, here we are again! At home. Where we have been, and will be for the time being. Remember out? No, neither do we. But it’s okay! Dan and Maureen are here to talk about at home stuff, in details. Grocery wiping! Mask etiquette! Nightly wipings! Other things that didn’t exist before! But, as always, SaysWhovia is a completely safe place to visit. You can come and go as you like. No...

*Wipes down pod catcher* Oh hello! We were just making this nice and clean for you! SaysWhovia is always a safe retreat. Dan and Maureen are doing fine, in terms adjusted for these times. Maureen is trying to record in a bedroom with a dog who has woken up. She is… very awake. She wants to play. Oh, and Maureen injured her eye. You’re going to hear a lot about that. Dan is doing the same sort of t...

*door creaks open* Oh hello!  Let us take your bags. Welcome to Castle SaysWhovia, your safe port in the storm. Come in, come in! Yes, we’re all in here together, but there is plenty of room at the castle. Come, sit by the fire. Dan and Maureen will tell you stories. Mostly Maureen, She’s pretty chatty. And you can admire Dan’s beard! Look how it shines in the firelight! They talk indoor life, pla...

Greetings from a medically safe distance, SaysWhovia! It’s been A WEEK, right?  Like, what did we even think other weeks were before this week? It is, to put it mildly, a lot to take in. Which is why we’re here, to bring some sunshine to your earholes!  Or something.  We’re bringing something.  Dan is getting help with the recording. Maureen just wants you to stop eating the carpet. Both are here...

Oh hello, SaysWhovia. We were just bleaching everything. Sit down here, on this nice clean seat. We boiled it. Yes, you know what we’re talking about—the coronavirus. It’s the most popular microbe around. We don’t want to freak anyone out, except maybe the entire Trump administration who do not seem to be aware that it is happening. Which is why they all went to CPAC and coughed all over each othe...

Oh, don’t mind us, SaysWhovia. We’re just bleaching this podcast before you listen. It’s going to be very clean. We want you to know that our podcast is entirely safe to consume and free of viruses. Because that’s on a lot of people’s minds. Especially Dan. Dan is ready. No one is as ready as Dan. Not you, and not the government, or Mike Pence, or the CDC or anyone. Maureen has been getting on and...

It’s the end of February! And in 2020, that means we are sandwiched between primaries and debates like some kind of Arby’s “we’ve got the meats” scenario except instead of meats it’s just unrelenting campaigning. Maureen is back from her vacation. She saw a boat! She saw a fish! She didn’t see the last debate, but that’s okay! Dan will fill her in. Michael Bloomberg continues to be the Frye Festiv...

Ahoy, SaysWhovians! It’s the Good Ship Good News! It sailed into our port. It’s been so long since we’ve seen it. Dan has visited Disneyland. Maureen is on vacation. Today, they will speak only of happy things. That’s what Dan has planned. Well. There will be a few little things. Like John Bolton’s book. And Stephen Miller’s weird wedding. But nothing will get in the way of… What’s that noise? Mau...

*yawns*  *blinks*  Oh hello, SaysWhovia. Have you been there all this time? Dan and Maureen have just woken up. They are in separate places—separate times, in fact—but neither seems to have left noddy-noddy-slumberland. Can you blame them? It’s 2020. Let’s all go back to bed. But we can’t, can we? There is too much to discuss. The New Hampshire primary! The end of the Yang Gang! Joe Biden’s Wild R...

Hey ho, SaysWhovia! Did you like last week? Did you? That was a week, right? A week in which time seemed to collapse into a single point. The singularity of bullshit. It was something else. The impeachment trial has ended. Long live the impeachment trial. Dan is now finished with impeachment.fyi and his self-imposed 130-day stretch of total impeachment immersion. He’s fine. He’s absolutely fine. D...

What a week! Maureen was on tour. Dan was handling the impeachment! Everything went great! Errrr. Well. Maureen went on 2/3 of a tour, then Things Went Wrong. Dan has been trapped in his basement, watching endless hours of Senate testimony. Both have made choices they regret. But! What news? The defense has wrapped in the Senate trial, and now we are on to questions. And a little gnome named John...

Look, there's a lot going on. Today Dan was consumed by the impeachment trial which officially began and Maureen was consumed by the release of her new book The Hand On the Wall which officially came out.  It's just a waves hands in all directions kind of day in a waves hands in all directions kind of week, month, year, take your pick.  Anyway, Maureen wants to talk impeachment and Dan wants to ta...

When we last left Dan and Maureen, they were, like most people, kind of freaking out because oh no surprise war. But then everyone kind of forgot or something and anyway, here we are, SaysWhovia! 2020 is clearly trying to make itself known, to show it is different and weirder than 2019. We don’t know what that means either. But soft! There is much goodness. Dan has many tales of Says Who U. Mauree...