Relationship Reset: Reignite, Reconnect, Rebuild

Send us Fan Mail When was the last time you said, “I don’t feel safe talking to you about this”? Maybe it was about money, sex, your mother-in-law, or whose turn it was to book the doctor’s appointment. Now flip it around. When your partner said those words to you, what did your body do? Did you get louder, or did you go quiet? In this episode, Katie looks at one of the most powerful words in our...

Send us Fan Mail Your partner says, “I should exercise more,” and you say, “So do it.” Conversation over. Except they weren’t asking for a workout plan. They were trying to tell you they feel older, more tired, and a little worried about their health, and nobody heard that part. This week I sit down with Dr. Matthias Hombauer, a molecular biologist turned rock photographer turned coach for entrepr...

Send us Fan Mail It’s Saturday afternoon, guests arrive tomorrow, and you’re raking the garden next to a partner who’s pulling weeds like each one personally insulted him. Nobody’s yelling. Nobody has to. In this Dear Katie episode, I’m answering a letter from a woman married 24 years who loves her husband, knows he loves her, and still feels completely alone. She carries the house, the plans, and...

Send us Fan Mail It's 9:15 on a Tuesday night. The kids are finally asleep, and one of you is reloading the dishwasher because the other one did it wrong. Bowls on the top rack again. Four minutes later you're both saying things like "Why am I the only adult in this house?" and "Nothing I do is ever good enough for you," and you end the night on opposite edges of the...

Send us Fan Mail Schedule Your Relationship Game Plan Call You meant to stop at the post office on the way to work, and suddenly you're pulling into the office parking lot wondering how you got there. That's autopilot. After ten, fifteen, twenty years together, it's also how a lot of couples end up running their relationship. In this solo episode, I'm skipping the three-step sy...

Send us Fan Mail "Nothing. I'm fine." If those three words have become your household's unofficial motto, this episode is for you. Most couples come to me saying they have a communication problem. When we dig a little deeper, it's almost always resentment: years of unspoken needs, quiet sacrifices, and arguments you've had a hundred times in your head at 2am but never...

Send us Fan Mail Some of the calmest marriages are the ones Katie worries about most. This week's Dear Katie letter comes from a listener married 12 years, together 16, who has built a life that looks completely put together from the outside. No fighting. No slammed doors. No tension anyone could point to. Friends keep asking what her secret is. But when she tried to remember the last time sh...

Send us Fan Mail Relationship Game Plan Call When your partner goes quiet, what happens in your body? For some of us, it's relief. Finally, some peace. For others, it's dread, like we're waiting for the other shoe to drop. Here's the thing: silence isn't neutral. It's a language, and most of us are speaking a different dialect than our partner without even knowing it....

Send us Fan Mail You're mid-conversation with your partner. It started small — the dishwasher, a tone, a missed phone call — and by sentence four, something flips. Your chest goes hot or cold, and every part of you wants to either bolt the room or go silent. If that's you, here's the first thing to know: you're not broken, and you're not bad at conflict. Your body did exac...

Send us Fan Mail There's a version of every long relationship where things stop working the way they used to, and neither person quite knows how to say it out loud. This week, I'm talking with John and Sally, together over twenty years, who've lived through nearly every version of that moment: the terrifying first year of blending two very different lives, a season of counseling tha...

Send us Fan Mail You've had the fight about the shoes by the door. The reminder texts. The unfinished closet project. You've talked about it a hundred times, in a hundred different ways, and somehow nothing changes. What if the pattern was never about effort at all? In this episode, Katie unpacks what's really happening in couples where undiagnosed ADHD is quietly shaping the relati...

Send us Fan Mail Between the Off Campus series, the My Fault trilogy, and whatever's currently sitting on your nightstand, something has shifted... and it's not just 20-somethings hooked on romantasy. Katie's hearing the same three questions from smart, successful women in their 40s and 50s constantly:  Is this helping my relationship or quietly hurting it?  Is it weird that I'...

Send us Fan Mail You didn't just marry your partner. You married a suitcase full of shame you don't even remember packing. In this episode, Katie sits down with therapist Kyira Wackett to unpack the thing quietly running most long-term relationships: shame. Not the dramatic kind. The kind that shows up as over-functioning, resentment about the dishes, or going quiet the moment things get...

Send us Fan Mail Have you actually looked at your kitchen counter lately? Like really looked? Not the version your brain has filed under "that's just there." The actual pile. Chances are it's been sitting there so long you've stopped seeing it at all, and that's not a willpower problem. It's a documented psychological phenomenon called clutter blindness, and Kati...

Send us Fan Mail Ever hung up the phone with your mother-in-law and felt a strange, unnamed sadness you couldn't quite explain? Or caught yourself building a whole case against your spouse's parents before you'd said a word out loud? This episode is for you. This week Katie tackles two things that are more connected than most couples realize: the quiet grief we carry when our in-law...

Send us Fan Mail You know the fight. It's 11pm, you're both exhausted, and somehow you're arguing about the Amex bill again. Money conflict shows up in nearly every long-term relationship, but as this week's guests reveal, what looks like a fight about spending is almost never actually about spending. I sat down with Heather and Douglas Boneparth, married financial experts and...

Send us Fan Mail Submit a Dear Katie question about your relationship You planned the trip. You saved it to your phone for months. You told yourself this was the one that would bring you back together. And then you got there, and somehow felt more alone than you do on a regular Tuesday at home. If that sounds painfully familiar, you're not alone, and this week's Dear Katie letter is proo...

Send us Fan Mail Ever start "just trying to give some feedback" and end up in a full-blown fight before you even know what happened? You're not alone, and it's not because you're bad at communicating. It's because most of us never learned the difference between feedback your partner asked for and feedback they didn't. In this episode, Katie sits down with psychol...

Send us Fan Mail You've mastered the art of keeping the peace. But at what cost? If you've ever caught yourself calculating whether it's the "right moment" to bring something up with your partner, checking his mood, replaying how last time went, deciding it's just not worth the fallout, this episode is for you. This isn't about your conflict-avoidant partner (Kat...

Send us Fan Mail You resolved the argument. So why do you still feel terrible? You came to an agreement. You compromised. You closed the tab on yet another disagreement and still walked away feeling cold, distant, and vaguely like you won the argument but lost something that actually mattered. Sound familiar? In this episode, Katie breaks down one of the most misunderstood distinctions in long-ter...

Send us Fan Mail Can a marriage actually survive an affair and come out stronger? Most people assume the answer is no. But marriage and family therapist Amanda Deverich, author of Affair Repair , has spent years walking couples through one of the most painful experiences a relationship can face — and what she's found might surprise you. In this episode, Katie sits down with Amanda to break do...

Send us Fan Mail Learn about the Weekly Reset Are you sabotaging your relationship without even knowing it? Most couples who end up stuck aren't selfish or uncaring — they're exhausted, busy, and running on autopilot. Somewhere between the kids, the career, and the endless to-do lists, they stopped doing the small things that actually keep a relationship alive. And nobody ever told them...

Send us Fan Mail Learn about the Weekly Reset When is the last time you and your partner had a real conversation — not about the kids, the schedule, or what needs to happen this week? If you're struggling to answer that, you're not alone, and you're not failing. You're just caught in a pattern that almost every high-achieving couple falls into sooner or later. In this episode,...

Send us Fan Mail Have you looked at your partner lately and thought, "I don't even recognize us anymore"? You're not alone and it's not a sign that your marriage is on the rocks. In this episode of Relationship Reset , Katie shares a story about a couple who independently, without ever comparing notes, said almost the exact same thing in her office: "I don't real...

Send us Fan Mail What happens to your relationship when your body starts changing in ways you don't recognize — and neither does your partner? Perimenopause is one of the most under-discussed transitions in a long-term relationship, and it doesn't just affect the woman going through it. It affects both of you. In this episode, Katie sits down with Lauren Tuttenbaum — licensed psychothera...