Pero Let Me Tell You

Fergie’s cartwheels…hope everyone voted in the midterms…love us a cafetorium…trick or treat fiascos…Coral Gables was a Halloween let down…are some candies just ALWAYS fun size…bring back the hype of Pokemon Go…what an awful plane crash in West Palm Beach…sometimes things just are what they are, not a conspiracy…seriously, y’all need to get over ‘Lost’...Black Mirror is more relevant today than eve...

Bring on the daylight savings…Halloween is definitely a time to have fun playing dress up…ugh, boring costumes are the worst…tech difficulties won’t stop us…the Weeknd SHOULD have a Kids Bop version of all his songs…El Chavo del 8, still iconic…why does DJ know so much about the Periodic Table…uncovering DJ’s Halloween PTSD…Lady Godiva didn’t ride the horse naked…also, Rapunzel is not Lady Godiva....

Join us at West Fest on Nov 14…it’s as close as Miami gets to autumn…is November too soon for Christmas decorations…you’d think a Carvel cake would be easier than Publx cake…once the Zoloft kicks in…tiramisu is not an Oreo…we love a Capri Sun…some things shouldn’t have bets placed…is Polymarket and Kalshi just the norm now…how much Metamucil is too much…the nostalgia of Sunny Delight can’t be beat...

Welcome back, DJ…so many ailments…Frankenstein cake…Kelly Clarkson needs a mechanical bird…what the hell are masculine teeth…the zombie apocalypse would be the worst…El Dorado should hire at least ONE bilingual person…give Christine Baranski ALL the awards…congrats Lucha Dough…DJ Khaled furniture fits right in there…Scooby Doo and the transatlantic accent…the return of Elizabeth Holmes and Therano...

Woot woot Junior is in the main co-host seat…congrats to Lucha Dough on your wedding…those cinnamon rolls though…thanks for inviting us to Buena Vista Social Club, Arsht Center…The Estefans aren’t an exhibit…celebrities in the wild…Madame Tussauds in Miami…Carnegie Mellon in Wynwood is pretty weird…there are various ways to be smart…surrendering to tech isn’t a sign of intelligence…we miss cultura...

You can’t judge someone based on one date…bad dates cross generations…seriously do we need trigger warning in front of everything now…dude, Gone with the Wind is a classic…the movie ‘Obsession’...bring on the scary movies…release the mic bro…the Last Ditch lesbian bar drama is just great…keep a little Peter Pan…Fifth Harmony is full of it…Ish is pretty Keyed out…for sure, he’s spoken to a Puerto R...

Miami Arena memories…Ish and Juanes concerts…fingers crossed for a slow hurricane season…older lady names we miss you…what’s the Gen Z line for professionalism in a job interview…DJ’s 1 in a 30…and now, a class on billable hours…our version of a cottage is an efficiency…outdoor kitchen?!? What’s next, outhouse???...the need to belong is leading us down some dark paths…how could you become a Branch...

Welcome to the show Chef Mika…we love when our culture is represented on a big scale…24 Hour cooking competition insanity…Chef Brad on a road trip…still missing Caja Caliente…her mom is the best…cooking Cuban food got her to 4th place…motherhood isn’t slowing this chef down…discos volador are the best…vaca frita vs ropa vieja…food influencers are good until they aren’t…don’t forget to grab a copy...

And we’re back together after too many episodes away…big thank you to Frank for filling in 2 weeks in a row…Darien was always falling into The Gap…man the 90s were all about XXL…Junior keeping the Mario Lopez alive…we do miss Structure…RIP Bob Mackie…Cher is eternal…the Sydney Sweeney commercial isn’t really about what they’re trying to make it about…gone are the days of computer labs…the Vida Gue...

Now it’s Ish’s turn to meet Frank…this time he came prepared to show he’s learning…we love a Walter Mercado reveal…and now we’re adding to Frank’s fear of flying…he knows Max Headroom?!?...Ish does love a pool party theme…sometimes las veteranas need the love…of course Bezos has eaten lechon…who the hell works as a unicyclist…if you’re going to swindle people using a love scam, at least be hot…wel...

Maybe we just keep swapping between hosts…welcome to the show, Frank Hernandez…never confuse Miami Lakes with Hialeah…why do we love Flannigans so much…the beauty of Utah…we love our banquet halls in Miami…most people don’t know El Farito beach has an actual name…be the disruptor to the calmness…Junior hit the nail on the head…the Keys really has no nice beaches…bring on the cruises…Hi Stephanie &...

Sorry for the audio glitch…post 400 partying gone wrong…yay, Junior gets to fully co-host with Ish…if she’d lived to 500 years old, it would still be too soon…we’ll never see another Dolly Parton in our lifetime…if nothing else, don’t forget she stood for being a genuine human being…of course ADHD was first in print when Junior was born…how was ‘safe word’ not around before 1979?...we promise no c...

It’s finally our 400th episode…welcome back, Lucy Lopez…it’s all about consistency…sometimes great ideas come at 3am…the people you love most are the ones that drive you the craziest…better to unite people with laughter than divide them with hot takes…always recognize those who came before you…Last Cafecito: Lucy Lopez & All Our Guests Who’ve Become Fam Theme Song: Pero Let Me Freestyle, compo...

Another member of our three timers club…sad moments definitely give you more material…MIA2NYC and back…when your parents become your kids…cancer will test anyone…workaholics understand each other…don’t YOU wanna be in a lookbook…hey, it’s not ALL porn on Only Fans…back home to headline the Miami Improv…please don’t be hackey…being an online creator or influencer is just unnecessarily taxing…it’s n...

Mixing it up…man, DJ is feeling frisky this episode…Buccee’s road trip pending…if your book isn’t banned, are you even trying…McDonald’s parties were great…RIP Dandy Bear and Discovery Zone…if you retract your compassion to someone in mental crisis out of fear of offending, you’re a hypocrite, period…Justin Bieber costume was totally not received as such…Canadians are known for being nice and pout...

Typical Miami fashion, our 400th ep will be late…Betty White WAS 100…realtor videos on YouTube…that scene in Signs is scary, period…Event Horizon is just messed up…Naked Gun still holds up…if you’re charging for a celeb pic at a con, please pretend you care about the fans…we just hope Ariana Grande is doing well…Don’t Trust the B in Apt 23 was hilarious…Showgirls will never not be enjoyable…a job...

So continues the Y name conversation…seriously, did we piss someone off at the Miami New Times…Burger Beast, a true ride or die…when the Lexapro kicks in…RIP Laundry Bar…the days of rollover minutes…no ringtones for us…happy birthday, Roberto here’s your tiramisu…figuring out what we did in July 1994…we love the Tower of Terror…quiche…parental lack of communication is basically part of aging…”Choo...

DJs back and with less hair…congrats to everyone involved in Muerto de Risa; Alvarez Guedes…diving into the Instagram comments section…the official definition of first generation is just plain wrong and inaccurate…more of DJ parent stories…bring on the Boney M bops…top athletes list without Dan Marino or Michael Jordan is just plain wrong…felicidades Spain…that halftime show was meh at best…please...

Welcome back Domnio…our 3 timers club is definitely growing…of course, Junior goes way back with Domino…CCW World Champ, well deserved…Las Rosas is the authentic vibe Miami needs…we love giving shout outs to all our peeps who deserve it…ahhh the guilty pleasure of chiropractor adjustments & pimple popping…why so bitter, Bret Hart?...get this guy an chiropractor sponsor already…acid reflux is r...

Compression socks are fashion…was it Heavy D with the clot…let’s go Norway, win that World Cup…let’s all sing like Michael McDonald & Ariana Grande…what is yacht rock…what better time for baseball movies than summer…we love A League of Their Own…so many celebrities getting bit by ticks…Taylor’s bridal registry…hosting QVC segments is a whole other level of talent…our long lost modern episode o...

Finally getting the episode numbers right…Jr’s 25 seconds are kinda like America’s 250th, right?...we still believe in the promise of the American Dream…our appreciation for our freedoms never ebbs…who knew DJ loved onions this much…A-Z list of American foods and we want the steak with fortune cookie…our hearts go out to Venezuela…heartwarming to see the community come together to help with donati...

We love guests who bring yummy goodies…honoring your roots and adapting is necessary…we need to hit that Vegas Bakery Convention…being in business with a lifelong friend isn’t easy…we think Yvette would totally rock it on-camera too…guys, for the last time, Cubans are citrus people not so much with spicy…onward and north…ventanita culture is the epitome of Miami…just when Ish forgot about his CAO...

Oh no, the sciatica…give Cafe Miami a follow…man, this mojo is mucho bueno…support small business…man, body pain is the worst…seriously, let’s have these men in kilts at all Miami events…sometimes the world just needs to healthily compete to come together…ceasar salad is Mexican?!?...good bye Hard Rock Cafe at Bayside…mattress stores are always empty…what are peptides…Junior recap is better late t...

So much info about Buster Pointdexter…geyser or ship…bring on the swing music…it’s mango season…cold fruit only…we miss you Perricone’s…mmm the brie…Ricky Martin and his spiritual BS…a rash, eeeek…time for a haiku lesson…bring on the trypophobia explanation…the continually changing face of Wynwood…CocoWalk is now pretty but soulless…are we at an influencer tipping point…at what point are you liter...

Two dental medical marvels…oh wow, THAT is dental trauma…congrats to Lucha Dough…so many swingers onboard…who has the pineapple code book…bring back the jingles…nope, Ish just doesn’t believe JLo was going to be part of the Madonna/Britney VMAs…backrooms is all of Darien’s nightmares…movies should be a shared experience…wait, there’s also hammock trauma…so many classic jingles…oh man, a prank on D...