Parenting Doctors Podcast

Episode 21: Never Give Up Why the Worst Chapter Doesn't Have to Define the Whole Marriage Can decades of love, sacrifice, companionship, and shared experiences become overshadowed by a few deeply painful chapters? When a marriage is in crisis, our attention naturally gravitates toward what went wrong. The hurt, disappointment, and conflict can become so consuming that we begin viewing the entire r...

Episode 20: Are You Carrying the Relationship? When Connection Exists Without Reciprocity Two people can have extraordinary connection and still have a profoundly one-sided relationship. They may talk for hours. They laugh, share vulnerabilities, feel deeply understood, and experience genuine emotional intimacy. But when the conversation ends, another set of questions begins to matter: Who calls?...

Episode 19: The Big Five — A Framework for Relationship Health What actually makes a relationship thrive? In this episode of What We Were Never Taught, Dr. Dan presents The Big Five—five core relationship processes that help explain why some relationships deepen while others slowly deteriorate: connection, continuity, repair, reciprocity, and progression. This framework applies whether two people...

WHEN CONNECTION ISN’T ENOUGH Episode 18 | What We Were Never Taught How can two people genuinely love each other, remain committed to their marriage, and still feel profoundly disconnected? I've seen couples experience extraordinary moments of closeness. They sit together for hours, share their feelings, remember why they fell in love, and promise to make their relationship a priority. For a momen...

Episode 17 — When the Bridge Gets Blown Up The Emotional Skills We Were Never Taught About Conflict, Cutoff, and Preserving Love When We’re Angry What happens when conflict does not simply create distance, but seems to erase the entire history of a relationship? In this episode, Dr. Dan explores one of the most destabilizing patterns in relationships: when anger, hurt, or emotional overwhelm leads...

Episode 16: When Attachment Gets Activated Self-Regulation, Co-Regulation, External Regulation & the Ways We Seek Safety What happens to us when a relationship suddenly feels uncertain, disconnected, or unsafe? Some of us move closer. We want to talk, understand, repair, reconnect, and receive reassurance. Others move away. We need silence, distance, independence, or space before we can feel s...

Episode 15: The Part of Repair We Never Talk About — Silence, Space, and Self-Regulation We often think of relationship repair as talking things through—apologizing, explaining, resolving conflict, and finding solutions. But what if a crucial part of repair happens after the conversation? In Episode 15, Dr. Dan explores the often-overlooked role of silence, space, and self-regulation in healthy re...

Episode 14 — You Don't Need Someone Like You We’re often taught to look for someone who is “compatible” with us—but what does compatibility actually mean in marriage? In this episode of What We Were Never Taught, Dr. Dan van Ingen explores why personality similarity is not the foundation of a successful marriage. The Big Five personality traits—openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeablen...

Episode 13: The Things We Never Learned About Being Alone Marriage is supposed to bring two people together—but what happens when we forget how to remain ourselves within the relationship? In this episode of What We Were Never Taught, Dr. Dan explores one of the most overlooked challenges of marriage: learning how to be alone without becoming lonely, and learning how to stay connected without losi...

Episode 12: You Can’t Love Someone Into Changing What happens when you love someone deeply, believe in their potential, and still find yourself facing the same dysfunctional patterns over and over again? In Episode 12 of What We Were Never Taught, we explore one of the hardest challenges in relationships: how do you challenge dysfunction without abandoning the person you love, and how do you belie...

What We Were Never Taught — Episode 11: Compatibility Is Built, Not Found We’ve been taught to believe that the right person will simply “fit.” That when we meet our soulmate, the relationship will feel natural, effortless, and easy. But what happens when conflict emerges? When differences become more obvious? When we start thinking, Maybe we’re just not compatible. In this episode of What We Were...

What We Were Never Taught Episode 10: The Relationship Killer Nobody Talks About: Emotional Immaturity Most people believe relationships end because of cheating, betrayal, incompatibility, or because they simply "fell out of love." While those experiences are deeply painful and can certainly end a relationship, they often point to a deeper issue that receives far less attention. In this episode, D...

Episode 9: Why Love Isn’t Enough — The Skills Every Relationship Needs to Thrive Many people enter marriage believing that strong convictions will be enough to carry them through. A deep faith, a belief that marriage is forever, a commitment to never give up, and a willingness to fight for the relationship are powerful foundations—but beliefs alone are not enough. Beliefs are one pillar of marriag...

Episode 8: Do You Want to Be Right or Do You Want to Connect? Understanding Narcissistic Patterns in Relationships There comes a point in some relationships where conflict stops being about solving a problem and starts becoming a battle for emotional survival. In this episode of What We Were Never Taught, we explore narcissistic patterns—not as labels to place on people, but as relationship dynami...

Episode #7: The Relationship Blueprint / Relationship Story Arc In this episode of What We Were Never Taught, we introduce the concept of the Relationship Blueprint—the unconscious emotional template that shapes how we experience love, conflict, and connection across our lifetime. Most people assume relationship struggles come from either “this partner” or “childhood alone.” But the truth is more...

Episode #6: The Conversation Most Couples Never Have How to Talk About Hurt Without Creating More Hurt Most couples don't avoid difficult conversations because they don't care. They avoid them because they don't know how to talk about hurt without escalating conflict, triggering defensiveness, or creating even more pain. In this episode of What We Were Never Taught, Dr. Dan explores one of the mos...

Episode #5: You Think You’re Explaining Yourself—But You’re Actually Losing Them In most relationships, disconnection doesn’t happen in big, dramatic moments—it happens in small conversations where defensiveness takes over before understanding can land. In this episode of What We Were Never Taught, I explore why defensiveness is one of the most common and most damaging patterns in relationships, a...

In this 4th episode of What We Were Never Taught, we explore one of the most recognizable patterns in relationships: why some people tend to cling when they feel disconnected, while others pull away when emotions become intense. Drawing from attachment theory in a simple and accessible way, this episode breaks down how different attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant—sha...

This is my Episode #3 of my new relationship show podcast. Why Emotionally Unavailable People Attract Each Other: The emotional skills we were never taught about intimacy Emotionally unavailable people often attract each other because the relationship feels familiar, safe, and validating of their existing beliefs about intimacy. Familiarity feels like chemistry Neither person has to face deep vuln...

In this episode of What We Were Never Taught, we explore one of the most painful dynamics in relationships: what it really means when people feel like they are no longer being heard. Most people assume the problem is that someone has stopped listening. But in reality, listening often breaks down slowly over time due to emotional overload, repeated misunderstandings, defensiveness, and disconnectio...

After spending more than a decade focused on parenting and families, I’m beginning a new conversation about relationships, emotional connection, communication, and resilience. In this first episode, I share parts of my own journey through divorce, shame, growth, and the realization that many couples are never truly taught the emotional and communication skills needed to navigate difficult seasons...

This is my first parenting podcast in 5 years.  I am returning to encourage a new generation of parents.  I will be drawing from my books. My first Parenting Podcast in 5 years.  I woke up this morning at 3 a.m. and put together my first parenting podcast in a long time.  My greatest gift, my calling, and my purpose is ENCOURAGEMENT.  I came back to this parenting podcast because I want to reach a...

I had the joy of interviewing Addison Ruscoe, Voice of the Riverview Rams.  If you like the art and science of sports broadcasting, this podcast is definitely for you.  If you love sports or the character of sports, this is a good one.  Great life lessons, and the value of discovering purpose is at the heart of today's podcast.  We also discussed Ram Football for 15 minutes toward the end of today...

My Daughter is Playing in the Regional Championship Varsity Football State Playoff Game Tomorrow Night.  Why Not?  A coach who had a huge impact on my life is a man named Von Shepherd.  He touched me in many ways at a window of time when I needed him most.  He taught me several quotes and lines and phrases.  He had a simple two-word question that I remembered today being out on the field at Riverv...

Listen to some of the minutes toward the end of my interview with Meghan Buchanon, a true overcomer who we all can be inspired by.  A few of these minutes can apply to the Everests that we all face.   A few of these minutes were taken from my interview with Meghan Buchanan, an Aerospace Engineer, Adventure Athlete and Motivational Speaker. She has set her sights on becoming the 1st Rocket Scientis...