Max, Mike; Movies

Welcome to another in our series “Cuz It’s Good For You,” movies from the Criterion collection. This week we’re testing our fighting skills against a Jackie Chan Classic, “Police Story 2.” In researching this film, and its director/star, I came across an interesting tidbit: Jackie Chan’s father was named Fang Daolong, but his English name was Charles Chan This is true! . I never knew: Jackie Chan...

Quick, Mike! You know we’re doing a Fellini film this week, as we re-enter our “Cuz It’s Good For You” series! That means we have to be classy, elegant, refined! This is an art film! One of the greats, apparently! Get your Prada suit on! Get your Gucci loafers ready! I’ve got the Chianti bottle with a melty candle in it, and I just opened a nice bottle of Casa di Velours for us to enjoy. I’m not f...

Great day in the morning! We’ve made it to episode 400! How did this happen? They said we’d never do it. They said we were crazy. They said we would burn out and fade away. They said that a cabal of hamster people secretly run the government. They said investing in knock-off Beanie Babies was a sound financial move. They said dying my body hair bright blue would be a wise move. I’m beginning to th...

Ah, art! What a joy! I know, I know, everyone thinks Mike is the artist of our team but it’s a lie, I tell you! I, Max, am the undiscovered artistic genius! But all I ever hear is Mike, Mike, Mike. Just because he has “talent” and a “great sense of color and design” and understands “composition and perspective” and has “actually created artwork people have enjoyed,” and because he can “use a paint...

Welcome back to “Cuz It’s Good for You,” movies from the Criterion Collection. Friends. How many times has this happened to you? You’re hosting a dinner party. The music is elegant. The hors d’ouevres are delightful. The hamsters are impeccably groomed. You’re set to the host or hostess of the season . . . and then . . . oh no! Those pesky radiation-fed animate brains start coming out of the wood-...

This week’s installment of “Cuz It’s Good for You” is a spine-chilling tale of horror about . . . cat people! Imagine the nightmare of someone cursed to take on the attributes of a cat! Watch in dread as a beautiful Serbian woman . . . ruins the furniture with her claws! Gasp in horror as she slowly deliberately . . . pushes a glass of water off a table! Shiver in your seat as the hell beast . . ....

Welcome to another enriching episode of our series “Cuz It’s Good For You”! You know what’s NOT good for you? Rampant consumerism! A culture of cheap, disposable goods! Corporate greed! All the things that go to making a great . . . children’s movie?! Uh . . . sure, why not, because that’s what’s happening here in 2008’s “WALL-E,” a Disney/Pixar production that showcases all these things but also...

Ahhh, mes enfants. Gather around, light up your many, many cigarettes and attendez-vous to this, the latest pointless entry in our series “Cuz It’s Good For You,” our latest meaningless distraction from the misery of existence and our inexorable descent into the grave. You, get me another keg of Pernod. Ah, bon, bon. Oui, this time Michel and I, we choose yet another laughable excuse for art from...

Good morning, children. Is everyone sitting comfortably? Phones away? Good. This morning on Mr Max, Mr. Mike, and Mr. Movies, we’re starting a wonderful new series. Sienna, please put that away. You can play with your tritium vials later. Now Mr. Movies can be lots of fun, can’t he, children? But not all things can be about fun, can they? No, they can’t. Mr. Movies is also good for you! Mr. Movies...

Hear, O ye flippin’ gods, hear how the great epic of “Tops and Bottoms” now comes to a glorious end! Yea, Maxshepsut, god of all Post-it notes, and his Priest-King Mikehotep, the Constantly Flatulent, have tackled a most ponderous epic of legendary legendness, massive of budget and stupendous of run-time: “Cleopatra,” greatest hauler of wealth of the year 19 and 63! For many hours did we ponder th...

Oh those darn Martians! If it’s not one thing with them, it’s another! Either they want to Attack! or they want to steal our Santa Claus or they need women or they want to invade Puerto Rico . . . it’s always something! Geez, guys, get it together. You’d think they’d be happy with all those Rovers we keep sending them, but no! In this week’s penultimate installation of “Tops and Bottoms,” we’re ad...

Hey kids! It’s time for everyone’s favorite club here in our “Tops and Bottoms” series, “Billionaire Boy’s Club”! Yaaaay! C’mon, everyone, let’s all sing along with the Club song! Who’s the members of the club that we will never see? B-I-L, L-I-O, N-A-I-R-E! Who will screw their fam’ly, friends, and then screw you and me? B-I-L, L-I-O, N-A-I-R-E! Billionaires! (Money rules!) Billionair...

Hey there, No-Prize Winners and Merry Marvel Marchers! This week’s entry in “Tops and Bottoms” [pause for Mike to stop giggling for some reason] is the biggest earner of 2018 and it’s the penultimate Avengers movie of Marvel’s Phase 3, Ephesians 7, Jackson 5, or whatever it was and it made a barge-load of ducats when it came out, and why wouldn’t it? I mean, you’ve got Doc Bruce Banner it, and whi...

A long, long time ago . . . ok, so it was eleven years . . . in a galaxy, far, far away . . . except it’s actually the one we’re in now, and it wasn’t even that far away on this planet so this is clearly going nowhere WHY did I take this job?! ANYWAY . . . so, here and now in our series “Tops and Bottoms” we’re tackling the first film in the third trilogy . . . yeah, that’s about right, of the “St...

This time we’re starting with the Bottom of 2015 in our “Tops and Bottoms” series (dammit, why does Mike keep giggling at that title?) and the biggest money loser of 2015 was “Jem and the Holograms,” a live action movie based on an 80’s cartoon about a girl-group popstar band. Now, regardless of what we have to say about this movie, I have to point out that this film was clearly doomed from the st...

Well, in this episode of “Tops and Bottoms,” we move from the Top grossing film of 1959 to . . . well, the bottom grossing film. Hoo boy, this is gonna be painful. What’s it going to be? Some late-career Ed Wood movie? Ooo, are we going to get another entry from the Cor-man? There are so many of his we still haven’t endured, I mean, seen! Heh, I bet it’s some teen movie or cheap science fiction dr...

Friends, Romans, Countryfolk . . . lend me a dollar, won’t you? No? Well, fine, we’re doing a new series anyway! So quo that in your vadis! This time we’re choosing a random year every two episodes and discussing the most successful movie of that year and the biggest bomb of that year. At Mike’s direction, we’re calling it “Tops and Bottoms.” Personally, I don’t see what bathing suit components ha...

All right, mes amis, listen here. I am the famous French (Canadian) detective, Inspector Faux Clousaux and here is mon assistante and turnip-handler, Mike-o. We are here investigating the murder of the latest podcast series “Zis Looks Like Ze Bon Place Pour a Stick-up.” Did I mention I was French (Canadian)? I believe that un of you is behind zis terrible . . . pardon, Mike-o? Really? You think my...

Hey there, effendi! Check out these incredible bargains we have here at the Max, Mike; Market! Fabulous antiquities, shah! Look here, very rare: Attila the Hun’s hernia truss! Never before seen outside a museum . . . wait, don’t go, emir! My partner and I can see you are one of great discernment and taste, so feast your star-like eyes on this! Yes, that’s right! Socrates’ first iPhone case! You kn...

Look, for this episode of “This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stickup,” we’re dealing with the world of art theft and art forgery. Interesting stuff! No, neither of us had heard of this movie before, despite the intriguing cast, which includes Kurt Russell, Jay Baruchel, Matt Dillon and . . . Terrance Stamp? Really? Yes, really! In honor of this movie, Mike and I are attempting to replicate one of...

Heyyyyy, good to see all youse folks again! I mean, we just saw you last week, right? ‘cause me and Mike have been here the whole time, right? You saw us . . . RIGHT? Anyone asks, we’ve been around the last few weeks, doing, y’know, charity stuff and helping orphans and that kinda crap. You remember that . . . RIGHT? Good. We thought so. So, we got this movie, right? It’s Spike Lee, which is kinda...

Ok, my l33t haxx0rz! We’ve got a major kludge to pen test here so let’s get to it. We’re going to hack this week’s episode of “This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stickup,” 1992’s “Sneakers.” Coming off the “hacker mania” of the early 90’s (the Internet Worm, Operation: Sun-devil, and the horror that was “Mario Hotel”), this movie posits the frightfully tech-savvy question: “what if there was a mag...

Ok, ok . . . easy . . . slow and steady does it. Now the electronics of this lock are TEMPEST-resistant, so we’re going to have to handle this old school. The molybdenum magnets should help with that; the glass packs and the relockers rule out any brute force methods so this is going to have to be surgical. No, don’t be an idiot; using soup is out of the question, and so is bumping the rig. Set up...

Welcome to our series “This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stickup”! Now, we’ve never met before, have we? Of course not, ha ha! I have in my hand an ordinary deck of playing cards, an electric chainsaw, and a plucked, uncooked goose. I want you to choose a card, any card . . . good, good, don’t show it to me, just memorize it. Now put it here into the goose’s anal cavity. No, no it’s fine, no need...

Listen up, my shrewd and cunning listeners! We’ve called you here today because we’re planning a big job and we need your particular set of skills. That’s right, we’ve got a major score lined up: a brand new series called “This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stickup”, a series about heist movies and nothing but heist movies! Movies with cunning plans and brilliant operators where nothing can go wro...