Max, Mike; Movies

This time we’re starting with the Bottom of 2015 in our “Tops and Bottoms” series (dammit, why does Mike keep giggling at that title?) and the biggest money loser of 2015 was “Jem and the Holograms,” a live action movie based on an 80’s cartoon about a girl-group popstar band. Now, regardless of what we have to say about this movie, I have to point out that this film was clearly doomed from the st...

Well, in this episode of “Tops and Bottoms,” we move from the Top grossing film of 1959 to . . . well, the bottom grossing film. Hoo boy, this is gonna be painful. What’s it going to be? Some late-career Ed Wood movie? Ooo, are we going to get another entry from the Cor-man? There are so many of his we still haven’t endured, I mean, seen! Heh, I bet it’s some teen movie or cheap science fiction dr...

Friends, Romans, Countryfolk . . . lend me a dollar, won’t you? No? Well, fine, we’re doing a new series anyway! So quo that in your vadis! This time we’re choosing a random year every two episodes and discussing the most successful movie of that year and the biggest bomb of that year. At Mike’s direction, we’re calling it “Tops and Bottoms.” Personally, I don’t see what bathing suit components ha...

All right, mes amis, listen here. I am the famous French (Canadian) detective, Inspector Faux Clousaux and here is mon assistante and turnip-handler, Mike-o. We are here investigating the murder of the latest podcast series “Zis Looks Like Ze Bon Place Pour a Stick-up.” Did I mention I was French (Canadian)? I believe that un of you is behind zis terrible . . . pardon, Mike-o? Really? You think my...

Hey there, effendi! Check out these incredible bargains we have here at the Max, Mike; Market! Fabulous antiquities, shah! Look here, very rare: Attila the Hun’s hernia truss! Never before seen outside a museum . . . wait, don’t go, emir! My partner and I can see you are one of great discernment and taste, so feast your star-like eyes on this! Yes, that’s right! Socrates’ first iPhone case! You kn...

Look, for this episode of “This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stickup,” we’re dealing with the world of art theft and art forgery. Interesting stuff! No, neither of us had heard of this movie before, despite the intriguing cast, which includes Kurt Russell, Jay Baruchel, Matt Dillon and . . . Terrance Stamp? Really? Yes, really! In honor of this movie, Mike and I are attempting to replicate one of...

Heyyyyy, good to see all youse folks again! I mean, we just saw you last week, right? ‘cause me and Mike have been here the whole time, right? You saw us . . . RIGHT? Anyone asks, we’ve been around the last few weeks, doing, y’know, charity stuff and helping orphans and that kinda crap. You remember that . . . RIGHT? Good. We thought so. So, we got this movie, right? It’s Spike Lee, which is kinda...

Ok, my l33t haxx0rz! We’ve got a major kludge to pen test here so let’s get to it. We’re going to hack this week’s episode of “This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stickup,” 1992’s “Sneakers.” Coming off the “hacker mania” of the early 90’s (the Internet Worm, Operation: Sun-devil, and the horror that was “Mario Hotel”), this movie posits the frightfully tech-savvy question: “what if there was a mag...

Ok, ok . . . easy . . . slow and steady does it. Now the electronics of this lock are TEMPEST-resistant, so we’re going to have to handle this old school. The molybdenum magnets should help with that; the glass packs and the relockers rule out any brute force methods so this is going to have to be surgical. No, don’t be an idiot; using soup is out of the question, and so is bumping the rig. Set up...

Welcome to our series “This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stickup”! Now, we’ve never met before, have we? Of course not, ha ha! I have in my hand an ordinary deck of playing cards, an electric chainsaw, and a plucked, uncooked goose. I want you to choose a card, any card . . . good, good, don’t show it to me, just memorize it. Now put it here into the goose’s anal cavity. No, no it’s fine, no need...

Listen up, my shrewd and cunning listeners! We’ve called you here today because we’re planning a big job and we need your particular set of skills. That’s right, we’ve got a major score lined up: a brand new series called “This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stickup”, a series about heist movies and nothing but heist movies! Movies with cunning plans and brilliant operators where nothing can go wro...

Heheheheheh! So you see we have come to the end of our series “Cuz I Wanna (and You’re Gonna Like It)”! But you may think you have won because we are now at the end but you must listen to me now and hear what I say because your kung fu is not strong enough to make it to the end of this series! No, it isn’t! Hahahahahaha, that is very amusing to me! You may think of kung fu movies as being like the...

Cats. What do we know about them? We know that naming them is a difficult matter. We know that they are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. We know that T.S. Eliot was fond of them and Andrew Lloyd Weber found a way to turn that fondness into obsession (and the movie turned them into a nightmare). We know that a cat is an angel that poops in a box. But now, thanks to...

Ok, most cunning and perceptive listeners, Max and Mike desperately need your help this week. Yes, through exhaustive research (following YouTube threads) and careful observation (watching Nicholas Cage movies), we’ve uncovered an ancient conspiracy involving the fate of the Necco wafer factory! Necco wafers: essential both as dry, chalky candy treats and makeshift poker chips. Yes, wake up, sheep...

All right, maggots! Listen up and listen good! Your mamas are not hear to take care of you now! You are in Max, Mike; Movies, here at Camp “Cuz I Wanna (and You’re Gonna Like It)” and the only way out is over a heap of dead-and-watched movies! We are your Drill Podcasters and we are here to make sure that you make it through this week’s movie, one “1941,” directed by General Steven Spielberg, aliv...

(sung to the tune of “Beach Baby” by The Beach Boys) Do you remember back in old Aruk? When the priest Rip Torn started running amok. What happened to the king’s unborn son? A witch stuffed him in a cow and away she run! Beastmaster, Beastmaster, find you some pants And go questing with tigers and ferrets. Also a bird, with no name that I heard, and some bat folks. Beastmaster, Beastmaster, twirli...

Welcome all you punks and punkettes, to this week’s entry in “Cuz I Wanna (and You’re Gonna Like It)”! This week, we are both rocking and/or rolling! Yes! We will rock out with our socks out! Anarchy within reasonable limits! Oo! We’re discussing perhaps the greatest movie ever to star both The Ramones and Clint Howard! Woo! Down with the establishment! We’re somewhat miffed at multiple authority...

Howdy, I say, howdy, y’all! What’s all this here nonsense with all y’all goin’ gaga for this chicken-come-lately Benoit Blanc? Why, he’s, I say, he’s just poachin’ my act! Everyone knows that Foghorn Leghorn is the original Southern-Friend flat-claw. Blanc? Why, that boy’s about as sharp as a bowling ball! He’s so dumb, he thinks a pigpen is somethin’ to write with! Why, I say, why are these here...

Hah hah! Stand back, musketeers! They shall sample MY blade! En garde! Touché! Café au lait! Yes, we have a swashbuckling classic this week in our “Cuz I Wanna (and You’re Gonna Like It)” series, “The Scarlet Pimpernel”! And what a swashbuckler this is! Sword fights! Daring midnight chases! Desperate fist-fights . . . pardon? Oh. There’s NONE of that here? No musketeers? No “my blade”? Just disgui...

Duuuude! Welcome to, like, our series . . . ummmm, wait, I know this . . . “Cuz I Wanna (and You’re Gonna Like It!)” here at Max . . . Mike . . . something something . . . Sorry, dudes, I’m totally wacked out on this new Andromeda Strain kush. It’s like totally out of this world or something, right? I mean, it feels like my blood is turning to powder right inside me! So far out! Ok, yeah, it’s dis...

You got trouble, my friends, Right here in Little China! With a capital “T” and that rhymes with “P” and that stands for Pan (crowd: “Lo Pan!”) Yeah, you got trouble (big trouble!), Right here in Little China! Gotta find a girl with jade-green eyes, that is his plan. (spoken) Mothers of Little China . . . heed this warning! Look for these signs: are your boys wearing red bandannas? Are certain wor...

Steven Spielberg made a film A.I., A.I., O! And in this film he had some bots A.I., A.I., O! With bot-bot here and a bot-bot there, Here a bot, there a bot, everywhere a bot-bot Steven Spielberg made a film A.I., A.I., O! Steven Spielberg made a film A.I., A.I., O! And in this film he had Haley Joel Osment starring as a kid-bot A.I., A.I., O! With an act-act here, and an act-act there, Here an act...

Snoogins! Me and Lunchbox got us a brand new series: “’Cuz I Wanna (and You’re Gonna Like It),” where we drop insights on movies that we’re watching just ‘cuz we wanna watch them, and we wanna talk about them and we haven’t watched or talked about them yet. Dang straight! And we’re kicking it off with Max’s favorite Kevin Smith flick, 1999’s “Dogma.” This is a simple, light-hearted film that deals...

We come to the close of our spoooooky series “I Vant to Vatch Your Feelm!” with a real whiz-bang of a film: vampires . . . in . . . SPAAAAAACE! Join Captain Frank N. Stein on the star-ship “Nosferatu” as he and his valiant crew, Lt. Renn Fields, Commander Mina O’Harker, and Medical Officer Dr. Acula (“I get it; I don’t like it”) battle the evil Van-Helsoids in a conflict that rages throughout time...

Welcome to “Cooking with Max, Mike; Movies,” and another in our culinary series “I Vant to Vatch Your Feelm!” You know, when preparing your favorite invertebrate dish, many people overlook the humble termite. Now, most of your haute cuisine recipes tend to focus on the more exotic insects, like the sago grub or the bamboo worm but we at this podcast think that the termite is a taste treat whose ti...