Marriage Lab

Connection, Intimacy & Sex What if the goal of your relationship isn't sex, but intimacy through connection? In this episode, we unpack God's design for sex, intimacy, and relationships—and why true sexual freedom is found in self-control, not the absence of boundaries. We talk about abstinence, pornography, physical boundaries, and the different ways men and women often pursue intim...

We talk a lot about wanting our spouse to be there for us when life is hard. But what about when life is GOOD... and they’re just not excited with you? You’re pumped about the restaurant. The trip. The opportunity. The idea. The thing you’ve been looking forward to all week. And instead of joining you in it, your spouse is neutral... unimpressed... or maybe they actually have an emotional reaction...

Some marriage fights just aren’t worth it. Not because the issue never matters. Not because you shouldn’t have hard conversations. And definitely not because healthy couples never get triggered. But over time, we’ve learned to care a lot less about figuring out who was wrong, who started it, whose memory is correct, or exactly where the misunderstanding happened. In this episode, we’re talking thr...

Main character energy sounds empowering—but what happens when it follows us into marriage? In this episode, we’re talking about the subtle ways we can start viewing our spouse, our circumstances, and even our disappointments through the lens of the life I’m supposed to be happening.   We unpack how main character energy can keep us waiting for our “big break,” resenting the ordinary sacrifices of...

What if “I told you so” is doing more damage in your marriage than you realize? What if it's actually reinforcing patterns you THINK it's dismantling?! In this episode, we explores how our need to be right—or to make sure our spouse “learns the lesson”—can quietly turn into over-functioning, control, and even boasting.  We’ll talk about giving your spouse back the dignity of learning, ow...

After studying generosity together, we started taking a closer look at our own relationship with money, possessions, and giving—and noticed a few things we didn’t expect. In this episode, we talk honestly about greed in a hyper-consumeristic world, the ways we’re each still growing, and how even something as good as “being a good steward” can sometimes become a reason to hold too tightly to what w...

Most married couples want to feel connected—they're just exhausted. So connection often ends up looking like quietly watching TV together,  tackling hard conversations about conflict or pain,  or squeezing in the occasional date night (... if time, money, and childcare all cooperate.) But what if there's another path? In this episode, we talk about one of our fav connecting rhythms as a...

What do you do when you’re losing hope in your marriage/a relationship? Not because you don’t love your spouse.  Not because you’re giving up.  But because the same painful patterns keep repeating , and you’re exhausted waiting for change. In this episode, we talk about why many of us misunderstand biblical hope, especially in relationships. We often treat hope like optimism, instant relief, or co...

Most people think the “never enough” voice in their head is the thing keeping them motivated. The voice that says: You should be doing more. You’re behind. You’re wasting time. You should be further along by now. But here’s the plot twist: that voice isn’t unique to you. Almost everyone hears it. The difference is not who hears it. The difference is who builds their life around it. The question is...

Emotionally raw seasons can heighten everything—especially the desire to feel seen, known, and secure. In this episode, we talk about what it looks like to build a preventative habit of anchoring your identity in God first, rather than turning to others to define your worth in vulnerable moments. Over time, you begin to realize that where you go for reassurance in hard seasons shapes not only your...

Ever ask gradually big relationship question in the middle of an argument… and then regretted the answer? In this episode, we break down a common (but damaging) pattern: asking life-defining questions when someone is emotionally triggered. What it often looks like 👇 • “Why didn’t you invite me?” → “Do you have more fun with them?” → “So you don’t have fun with me?” → “Do you even enjoy being arou...

Phone calls with your spouse should be simple… so why do they so often go sideways? In this episode, we unpack the subtle dynamics that quietly derail connection: • unspoken expectations • not checking if the other person even has capacity • unclear intentions (are we connecting or handling logistics?) • hoping for something deeper… without saying it ...and the hurt that builds when your spouse ca...

In this episode, we unpack one of the most practical distinctions we teach: the difference between a need and a strategy . A need is a relational longing: connection, safety, being seen, being prioritized. A strategy is your idea of how that need should get met: date night, quicker texts, no phones at night, doing the dishes before sitting down. The problem is, most of us accidentally disguise str...

Sometimes self-awareness helps us grow… and sometimes it quietly gives us permission to stay exactly where we are. In this episode, we talk about the subtle ways insight can turn into self-justification—whether it’s personality types, triggers, habits, or even love languages—and how awareness is meant to become a starting point for transformation, not a comfortable resting place. We share stories...

A story only God could write. 💔➡️❤️  Divorce, divine encounters, heart-level repentance, and a miraculous reconciliation. Listen to hear Amy's testimony of when God interrupts a story that felt finished. It will remind you all things are possible with Him.  Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package  2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst Click here for the "Summer Support"  6x...

In this episode, Jenna is joined by her nine-year-old daughter, Rosie, for a sweet and surprisingly insightful conversation about what comfort looks like in their family.  Together, they talk about the different “flavors of comfort” each family member needs when big emotions show up—whether that’s physical touch, someone staying close, space to process alone, or quiet presence.  Rosie shares how s...

Dopamine isn’t just about pleasure. It’s about seeking . Your brain lights up most when the reward isn’t guaranteed—  when you’re searching, anticipating, scanning. This is why elementary kids around the country are stoked out of their minds when they encounter or hear 6,7.  What can we learn here that could help us adults harness & grow our joy as we train our attention intentionally?? Optimi...

Why do the same conflicts keep showing up in marriage—even when the topic keeps changing? In this episode, we talk about the power of naming your patterns : the emotional and relational loops that quietly drive conflict, disconnection, and reactivity. We share real examples from our marriage, parenting, and coaching work to show how awareness creates space between a trigger and your response. When...

Family visits are supposed to bring connection… but sometimes they bring exhaustion, awkward expectations, and a drained bank account. In this episode, we’re talking about what to do when the way you’re visiting family isn’t working anymore — and how to get creative about connection without spending a fortune.  We’ll share our own story (including a few hard lessons from our in-laws 😅) and offer...

Ever notice how easy it is to slip into a courtroom conversation ? You start building a case in your head, stacking evidence, rehearsing your defense... all before you’ve actually asked a question. This week’s episode is about the habit that can stop that spiral before it starts: curiosity. When something feels off—at work, with your kids, or in your marriage—it’s tempting to assume motives or fil...

Please don't listen with your kids.  Our case for scheduling sex. When life gets full—kids, work, ministry, and the endless to-do list—intimacy is often the first thing to slip through the cracks. We’re told sex should always be spontaneous, but in real marriages that can leave couples disconnected and frustrated. In this episode, we talk honestly about scheduling sex —why it isn’t cold or un...

We all scoff. We all slip into sarcasm.  But what if those “little” habits aren’t as harmless as they seem? Research from the Gottman Institute shows that contempt — often disguised as casual teasing — is the single strongest predictor of death to connection (aka: divorce) Scoffing, sarcasm, and eye-rolling may feel small in the moment, but they send powerful messages of superiority, dismissal, an...

Last time we talked about ruminating vs. processing.  This week, I’m walking you through the how —practical steps to move through pain even if the other person doesn’t respond well. Here’s the framework: Notice your looping → instead, name the feeling Untangle your worth from their behavior Remind yourself: I can be okay even if… Stay rooted in your power—choose your next step Looping keeps you st...

Can you tell the difference between when your emotions are hijacking you & when they're helping you?  Noticing and expressing our emotions is a good thing. In fact, it’s vital for a healthy marriage. But there’s a thin line between naming our emotions and over-identifying with them. That’s where we slip into rumination—looping on the hurt, replaying the offense, and assigning meaning that...

In this episode of Marriage Lab , Erin and Jenna dive into the do’s and don’ts of processing with your spouse—how to share what’s on your heart in a way that invites care instead of conflict. From everyday recaps to high-stakes conversations, they unpack why intentionality matters, how to check for capacity, and why leading with emotions creates connection. Along the way, they share practical “dos...