Marriage Lab

What do you do when you’re losing hope in your marriage/a relationship? Not because you don’t love your spouse.  Not because you’re giving up.  But because the same painful patterns keep repeating , and you’re exhausted waiting for change. In this episode, we talk about why many of us misunderstand biblical hope, especially in relationships. We often treat hope like optimism, instant relief, or co...

Most people think the “never enough” voice in their head is the thing keeping them motivated. The voice that says: You should be doing more. You’re behind. You’re wasting time. You should be further along by now. But here’s the plot twist: that voice isn’t unique to you. Almost everyone hears it. The difference is not who hears it. The difference is who builds their life around it. The question is...

Emotionally raw seasons can heighten everything—especially the desire to feel seen, known, and secure. In this episode, we talk about what it looks like to build a preventative habit of anchoring your identity in God first, rather than turning to others to define your worth in vulnerable moments. Over time, you begin to realize that where you go for reassurance in hard seasons shapes not only your...

Ever ask gradually big relationship question in the middle of an argument… and then regretted the answer? In this episode, we break down a common (but damaging) pattern: asking life-defining questions when someone is emotionally triggered. What it often looks like 👇 • “Why didn’t you invite me?” → “Do you have more fun with them?” → “So you don’t have fun with me?” → “Do you even enjoy being arou...

Phone calls with your spouse should be simple… so why do they so often go sideways? In this episode, we unpack the subtle dynamics that quietly derail connection: • unspoken expectations • not checking if the other person even has capacity • unclear intentions (are we connecting or handling logistics?) • hoping for something deeper… without saying it ...and the hurt that builds when your spouse ca...

In this episode, we unpack one of the most practical distinctions we teach: the difference between a need and a strategy . A need is a relational longing: connection, safety, being seen, being prioritized. A strategy is your idea of how that need should get met: date night, quicker texts, no phones at night, doing the dishes before sitting down. The problem is, most of us accidentally disguise str...

Sometimes self-awareness helps us grow… and sometimes it quietly gives us permission to stay exactly where we are. In this episode, we talk about the subtle ways insight can turn into self-justification—whether it’s personality types, triggers, habits, or even love languages—and how awareness is meant to become a starting point for transformation, not a comfortable resting place. We share stories...

A story only God could write. 💔➡️❤️  Divorce, divine encounters, heart-level repentance, and a miraculous reconciliation. Listen to hear Amy's testimony of when God interrupts a story that felt finished. It will remind you all things are possible with Him.  Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package  2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst Click here for the "Summer Support"  6x...

In this episode, Jenna is joined by her nine-year-old daughter, Rosie, for a sweet and surprisingly insightful conversation about what comfort looks like in their family.  Together, they talk about the different “flavors of comfort” each family member needs when big emotions show up—whether that’s physical touch, someone staying close, space to process alone, or quiet presence.  Rosie shares how s...

Dopamine isn’t just about pleasure. It’s about seeking . Your brain lights up most when the reward isn’t guaranteed—  when you’re searching, anticipating, scanning. This is why elementary kids around the country are stoked out of their minds when they encounter or hear 6,7.  What can we learn here that could help us adults harness & grow our joy as we train our attention intentionally?? Optimi...

Why do the same conflicts keep showing up in marriage—even when the topic keeps changing? In this episode, we talk about the power of naming your patterns : the emotional and relational loops that quietly drive conflict, disconnection, and reactivity. We share real examples from our marriage, parenting, and coaching work to show how awareness creates space between a trigger and your response. When...

Family visits are supposed to bring connection… but sometimes they bring exhaustion, awkward expectations, and a drained bank account. In this episode, we’re talking about what to do when the way you’re visiting family isn’t working anymore — and how to get creative about connection without spending a fortune.  We’ll share our own story (including a few hard lessons from our in-laws 😅) and offer...

Ever notice how easy it is to slip into a courtroom conversation ? You start building a case in your head, stacking evidence, rehearsing your defense... all before you’ve actually asked a question. This week’s episode is about the habit that can stop that spiral before it starts: curiosity. When something feels off—at work, with your kids, or in your marriage—it’s tempting to assume motives or fil...

Please don't listen with your kids.  Our case for scheduling sex. When life gets full—kids, work, ministry, and the endless to-do list—intimacy is often the first thing to slip through the cracks. We’re told sex should always be spontaneous, but in real marriages that can leave couples disconnected and frustrated. In this episode, we talk honestly about scheduling sex —why it isn’t cold or un...

We all scoff. We all slip into sarcasm.  But what if those “little” habits aren’t as harmless as they seem? Research from the Gottman Institute shows that contempt — often disguised as casual teasing — is the single strongest predictor of death to connection (aka: divorce) Scoffing, sarcasm, and eye-rolling may feel small in the moment, but they send powerful messages of superiority, dismissal, an...

Last time we talked about ruminating vs. processing.  This week, I’m walking you through the how —practical steps to move through pain even if the other person doesn’t respond well. Here’s the framework: Notice your looping → instead, name the feeling Untangle your worth from their behavior Remind yourself: I can be okay even if… Stay rooted in your power—choose your next step Looping keeps you st...

Can you tell the difference between when your emotions are hijacking you & when they're helping you?  Noticing and expressing our emotions is a good thing. In fact, it’s vital for a healthy marriage. But there’s a thin line between naming our emotions and over-identifying with them. That’s where we slip into rumination—looping on the hurt, replaying the offense, and assigning meaning that...

In this episode of Marriage Lab , Erin and Jenna dive into the do’s and don’ts of processing with your spouse—how to share what’s on your heart in a way that invites care instead of conflict. From everyday recaps to high-stakes conversations, they unpack why intentionality matters, how to check for capacity, and why leading with emotions creates connection. Along the way, they share practical “dos...

Think you’ve forgiven… but still feel stuck? You’re not alone. Most of us were never taught what real forgiveness looks like—just the performance of it. Say a prayer. Say the words. Move on. Except… we don’t. This episode will shift your view of forgiveness from a moment to a movement —one that actually sets you free. 👇 We’ll cover:  • The sneaky ways we fake forgiveness (without knowing it)  • 6...

Some pain cuts deeper than others—not because it hurts more, but because it feels true . In this episode, we unpack the kind of pain that doesn’t just bruise your feelings, it hits your identity. We explore three subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways this happens:  • When someone says it outright • When they imply it • When you infer it And then the spiral begins:  – You feel like you have to prove your...

Offense Isn’t Just Pain: It’s Pain + Pride We often think being offended is just another form of hurt—but it’s more than that. Offense is what happens when pain gets tangled with pride. It’s the moment pain hardens into judgment, and we start to feel powerful… while quietly becoming more closed off. In this episode, we unpack how offense feels like a defense mechanism—but actually keeps us stuck....

What if evangelism wasn’t about striving—but about overflow? In this special episode, I sit down with a few of my friends fresh off a missions trip to unpack what actually cracked the code for us when it came to sharing Jesus.  Spoiler: it wasn’t a strategy—it was being so connected to the Father’s heart that love naturally led the way. We talk about what surprised us, what challenged us, and how...

What if the “peace” you’re protecting in your marriage… is actually costing you real connection? In this episode, we’re unpacking how passivity can disguise itself as love—especially in Christian marriages. We’ve seen it in our own relationship: moments when silence looked like patience, but it was actually fear. Times when we avoided conflict, convinced we were being kind or godly, but bitterness...

What do you get when you mix a paddleboard, high expectations, and two humans with emotions? Definitely not the relaxing date we envisioned. But maybe... a deeper kind of win? This was not our best date… but maybe it was one of our best recoveries. We went on a paddleboard date thinking it’d be relaxing and fun—but being stuck on the same board triggered us both in different ways.  Instead of lett...

In this episode, we’re tackling a subtle but serious issue in marriage: isolation. What happens when your spouse becomes your only source of connection? Spoiler: it doesn’t lead to thriving. We talk about: Why consistent, same-gender friendships are crucial—especially for accountability, encouragement, and emotional health How couples slowly drift into “island mode” without realizing it The specif...