Hate Watching with Dan and Tony

Send us Fan Mail A castle in the Carpathians. Edgar Allan Poe name-drops. Secret doors, earthquakes, torture devices, and a title that promises haunted hills. So why does Elvira’s Haunted Hills feel like it forgot to include a story, or even a consistent joke? We put on our bad movie review hats and hate-watch our way through the 2002 horror comedy, calling out the dead-air pacing, bits that vanis...

Send us Fan Mail One tiny detail can reveal everything that is broken about a movie, and for us it is this: the film cannot decide whether it lives in “Raccoon City” or the “City of Raccoon.” From there, we hit the gas and speed run Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021), the franchise reboot that aims for faithful video game adaptation and lands in a weird limbo where the references are lo...

Send us Fan Mail M3GAN 2.0 should be an easy win: take a killer doll with attitude, push the horror, sharpen the satire, and give us a few scenes that people quote for years. Instead, we walk straight into a sequel that feels like it’s chasing a totally different movie, swapping dread for generic action beats and then forgetting to make those action beats exciting. We’re Dan and Tony, and we spend...

Send us Fan Mail A Top Gun homage is a dangerous game, and Mayday plays it on hard mode. We walk through Apple TV’s action comedy and try to figure out why it feels so watchable in the moment, yet so hard to love after the credits roll. The big issue is commitment: the movie wants 1987 Cold War stakes and modern punchline rhythm at the same time, and that split shows up everywhere from the dialogu...

Send us Fan Mail A movie titled Disclosure Day practically dares you to imagine the one thing every alien story promises but rarely commits to: the moment the truth drops and the world has to live with it. We sit down as Dan and Tony to unpack why the trailer sells a sharp, high-stakes alien disclosure thriller, while the film itself drifts into vague vibes, strange plot mechanics, and a final mes...

Send us Fan Mail Supergirl left us with a weird feeling we couldn’t shake: not anger in the fun way, not confusion in the mystery way, just a movie that keeps reaching for big themes without doing the work to make them land. So we go scene by scene and ask the questions the film seems allergic to answering. Who is Kara when the story starts, what does she actually want, and what choice forces her...

Send us Fan Mail Tony says it first and he never lets it go: Under the Silver Lake is the most frustrating movie he has ever been forced to sit through. That reaction kicks off a surprisingly deep argument between us about what a movie owes its audience, and what “subversive” even means when the story seems determined to dodge emotion, consequences, and clarity. We walk through the film’s conspira...

Send us Fan Mail To prepare for our next episode of Under the Silver Lake, we go back and revisit our discussion on It Follows. Still trash by the way.... A monster that follows you forever is a killer premise. The problem is when the movie can’t decide what its own rules are. We spend this whole chat arguing about *It Follows* like two people trapped in a car with the doors open, because once we...

Send us Fan Mail A movie about endless yellow hallways should be pure nightmare fuel, so why did Backrooms leave us split between genuine admiration and total disbelief? We go scene by scene on what works, what collapses, and why the film’s biggest swing the “evil pirate” third act lands as either bold and terrifying or just plain silly, depending on what you want from horror. We dig into the Back...

Send us Fan Mail The Astronaut (2025) spends a long time whispering “something is wrong” and then, in the final minutes, it starts yelling. We go full spoiler mode on this Kate Mara sci fi thriller and try to figure out how a movie can feel like nothing is happening while also setting up one of the most unhinged twist endings we have seen in a while. We talk craft the whole way through: what suspe...

Send us Fan Mail 94% on Rotten Tomatoes should feel like a slam dunk. Instead, Obsession (2026) sent us into full detective mode: how does a movie with gorgeous shots, impressive sound design, and strong acting end up feeling so slow, so consequence-free, and so weirdly safe? We walk through the wish premise (a guy wishes a woman will love him more than anyone in the world), why that setup should...

Send us Fan Mail A world where you can literally spend your life on a cup of coffee should be terrifying. Instead, In Time (2011) somehow turns one of the best sci-fi dystopia premises of the last two decades into a story that keeps dodging its own consequences, and we could not let that slide. We walk through Andrew Niccol’s time-currency concept scene by scene, from the moment Justin Timberlake’...

Send us Fan Mail A comedy can survive bad taste, broad jokes, even a ridiculous set piece, but it can’t survive refusing to commit. We kick things off with a very real spiral about money and sustainability, then take a hard left into a bigger fear that’s creeping into entertainment: AI likeness, synthetic commercials, and what happens when consent becomes optional. That thread sets up the core que...

Send us Fan Mail A future where your eyes record everything should make crime harder, truth clearer, and privacy basically extinct. That is the promise of Anon, the 2018 Netflix sci-fi noir starring Clive Owen. We wanted to love the premise. Instead, we end up asking the most brutal question a tech thriller can face: if the movie cannot follow its own rules, why should we believe any of its stakes...

Send us Fan Mail The wild thing about War Of The Worlds (2005) is how quickly it earns our trust and how loudly it tests it later. We sit down on Heat Watching and walk through Spielberg’s alien invasion thriller beat by beat, starting with that terrifying, razor-tight opening stretch where ordinary people do the only “heroic” thing available: make one decent choice, then make the next one fast. T...

Send us Fan Mail Someone shows up in Grand Central, claims he’s from a planet called K-Pax, and calmly starts wrecking everyone’s certainty. That setup sounds like classic sci-fi, but the more we talk about the 2001 film K-Pax, the more it turns into a debate about story logic, emotional truth, and what “proof” even means when a person is clearly suffering. One of us watches Prot (Kevin Spacey) an...

Send us Fan Mail A movie can be harmless and still drive you nuts, especially when you can see the better version hiding inside it. We go back to 2001 and rewatch Corky Romano, the Chris Kattan comedy that lives in a lot of people’s nostalgia, then we ask the uncomfortable question: why does it feel like the script keeps forgetting to write the joke? We walk through the big story beats and the big...

Send us Fan Mail A spoof can be chaotic and still feel precise, but only if the movie commits. We just watched The Naked Gun reboot and ended up in a full-on argument about what modern parody movies need to work: clean setups, real escalation, and actors who play the moment like it’s life or death. We dig into non sequitur comedy and why “random” isn’t the same as “surprising.” Tony loves the occa...

Send us Fan Mail Shaq in a DC Comics superhero suit should be an automatic good time, but Steel (1997) somehow lands in the uncanny valley between Saturday afternoon fun and “please take this seriously.” We rewatch it scene by scene and call out the exact moments where the movie could have leaned into camp, tightened the story, or just admitted the premise is ridiculous. Instead, we get tanks cree...

Send us Fan Mail A guy wakes up alone on a colony ship, stares at a sleeping stranger for a year, and then makes a choice the movie wants to frame as romance. That’s the moment Passengers (2016) loses us, and we can’t stop talking about why. We walk through the film’s best ingredients: a slick sci-fi setting, a genuinely scary isolation setup, a talented Jennifer Lawrence, and a premise that could...

Send us Fan Mail Tron: Ares made us do something we almost never do: we hit play, heard the soundtrack kick in, and immediately wished we could keep the speakers on while turning the screen off. Dan and Tony break down the new Tron sequel with a very specific question in mind: how can a movie look this polished and still feel like nothing is happening? We get into Jared Leto’s Ares, why the “progr...

Send us Fan Mail Marty Supreme looks like a prestige movie, sounds like three different movies at once, and plays like a sports film that refuses to give you the one thing you came for: a reason to care who wins. We walk through the plot beat by beat, then stop and argue about why it feels so strange when the directing and performances seem competent, yet the story keeps slipping out of our hands....

Send us Fan Mail A movie about condoms, cocaine, and the World Cup should be a layup for a wild studio comedy. Balls Up somehow turns that setup into a string of half-formed bits, missing reactions, and scenes that refuse to escalate. So we did what we do best: hate watched it closely and pulled it apart like a broken engine. We talk through why the central buddy comedy dynamic never locks in, how...

Send us Fan Mail Dark Crimes wants to be a grim, prestige-leaning true crime thriller, but the further we follow it, the less it holds together. We sit down with our notes and try to track basic things a crime mystery should make clear: who wants what, what the evidence means, and why Jim Carrey’s detective is even making these choices. Instead, we find missing motivation, unclear timelines, and a...

Send us Fan Mail A three-hour sci-fi epic shouldn’t feel like you accidentally hit replay, yet that’s the vibe we can’t shake while breaking down Avatar 3: Fire and Ash. We’re Dan and Tony, and we watch the movies everyone’s already seen, then pull on the threads that the hype cycle ignores: character logic, story structure, and whether the emotional moments are actually earned. We dig into the bi...