Hate Watching with Dan and Tony

Send us Fan Mail A comedy can survive bad taste, broad jokes, even a ridiculous set piece, but it can’t survive refusing to commit. We kick things off with a very real spiral about money and sustainability, then take a hard left into a bigger fear that’s creeping into entertainment: AI likeness, synthetic commercials, and what happens when consent becomes optional. That thread sets up the core que...

Send us Fan Mail A future where your eyes record everything should make crime harder, truth clearer, and privacy basically extinct. That is the promise of Anon, the 2018 Netflix sci-fi noir starring Clive Owen. We wanted to love the premise. Instead, we end up asking the most brutal question a tech thriller can face: if the movie cannot follow its own rules, why should we believe any of its stakes...

Send us Fan Mail The wild thing about War Of The Worlds (2005) is how quickly it earns our trust and how loudly it tests it later. We sit down on Heat Watching and walk through Spielberg’s alien invasion thriller beat by beat, starting with that terrifying, razor-tight opening stretch where ordinary people do the only “heroic” thing available: make one decent choice, then make the next one fast. T...

Send us Fan Mail Someone shows up in Grand Central, claims he’s from a planet called K-Pax, and calmly starts wrecking everyone’s certainty. That setup sounds like classic sci-fi, but the more we talk about the 2001 film K-Pax, the more it turns into a debate about story logic, emotional truth, and what “proof” even means when a person is clearly suffering. One of us watches Prot (Kevin Spacey) an...

Send us Fan Mail A movie can be harmless and still drive you nuts, especially when you can see the better version hiding inside it. We go back to 2001 and rewatch Corky Romano, the Chris Kattan comedy that lives in a lot of people’s nostalgia, then we ask the uncomfortable question: why does it feel like the script keeps forgetting to write the joke? We walk through the big story beats and the big...

Send us Fan Mail A spoof can be chaotic and still feel precise, but only if the movie commits. We just watched The Naked Gun reboot and ended up in a full-on argument about what modern parody movies need to work: clean setups, real escalation, and actors who play the moment like it’s life or death. We dig into non sequitur comedy and why “random” isn’t the same as “surprising.” Tony loves the occa...

Send us Fan Mail Shaq in a DC Comics superhero suit should be an automatic good time, but Steel (1997) somehow lands in the uncanny valley between Saturday afternoon fun and “please take this seriously.” We rewatch it scene by scene and call out the exact moments where the movie could have leaned into camp, tightened the story, or just admitted the premise is ridiculous. Instead, we get tanks cree...

Send us Fan Mail A guy wakes up alone on a colony ship, stares at a sleeping stranger for a year, and then makes a choice the movie wants to frame as romance. That’s the moment Passengers (2016) loses us, and we can’t stop talking about why. We walk through the film’s best ingredients: a slick sci-fi setting, a genuinely scary isolation setup, a talented Jennifer Lawrence, and a premise that could...

Send us Fan Mail Tron: Ares made us do something we almost never do: we hit play, heard the soundtrack kick in, and immediately wished we could keep the speakers on while turning the screen off. Dan and Tony break down the new Tron sequel with a very specific question in mind: how can a movie look this polished and still feel like nothing is happening? We get into Jared Leto’s Ares, why the “progr...

Send us Fan Mail Marty Supreme looks like a prestige movie, sounds like three different movies at once, and plays like a sports film that refuses to give you the one thing you came for: a reason to care who wins. We walk through the plot beat by beat, then stop and argue about why it feels so strange when the directing and performances seem competent, yet the story keeps slipping out of our hands....

Send us Fan Mail A movie about condoms, cocaine, and the World Cup should be a layup for a wild studio comedy. Balls Up somehow turns that setup into a string of half-formed bits, missing reactions, and scenes that refuse to escalate. So we did what we do best: hate watched it closely and pulled it apart like a broken engine. We talk through why the central buddy comedy dynamic never locks in, how...

Send us Fan Mail Dark Crimes wants to be a grim, prestige-leaning true crime thriller, but the further we follow it, the less it holds together. We sit down with our notes and try to track basic things a crime mystery should make clear: who wants what, what the evidence means, and why Jim Carrey’s detective is even making these choices. Instead, we find missing motivation, unclear timelines, and a...

Send us Fan Mail A three-hour sci-fi epic shouldn’t feel like you accidentally hit replay, yet that’s the vibe we can’t shake while breaking down Avatar 3: Fire and Ash. We’re Dan and Tony, and we watch the movies everyone’s already seen, then pull on the threads that the hype cycle ignores: character logic, story structure, and whether the emotional moments are actually earned. We dig into the bi...

Send us Fan Mail A sequel can be bigger, darker, and meaner, but it still has to make sense. We take on Greenland: Migration as a natural disaster movie and post-apocalyptic survival thriller that keeps sprinting past its own logic: rations that magically last years, bunker life that feels weirdly comfortable, and character deaths that happen so fast they barely register. We’re not asking for a do...

Send us Fan Mail An AI judge. A 90-minute timer. One chair that can end you. Mercy sells itself like a sleek future-court thriller, but the more we follow its rules, the less the world holds together and that’s where our review gets viciously fun. We walk through the movie’s central idea: Judge Maddox runs the Mercy Court as judge, jury, and (indirectly) executioner, while Chris Pratt’s Detective...

Send us Fan Mail A time portal opens on a soccer field, a future soldier somehow addresses the whole stadium without a mic, and the world immediately agrees to a draft that sends regular people into an alien war with barely any training. That’s the kind of logic we can’t let go, so we put The Tomorrow War (2021) on the table and ask what happened to the “streaming blockbuster” era where huge movie...

Send us Fan Mail A reboot can survive a bad budget, cheap CGI, and even a silly premise. What it cannot survive is refusing to be the movie it advertises. We dig into the Anaconda remake and the strange choice to set up jump scares, a Brazil jungle prologue, and a “we’re living the movie we’re making” hook, then drain it all of horror, tension, and consequences the moment the story gets moving. We...

Send us Fan Mail Three timelines. One supposed “grand message.” And somehow we’re left asking the simplest question a movie can provoke: what was the point? We take on In The Blink Of An Eye, the Hulu sci-fi drama that jumps from a prehistoric survival story to a modern relationship to a far-future space mission, then expects the connections to feel profound just because the music swells. We walk...

Send us Fan Mail A great heist hums like clockwork: clear motives, sharp reversals, and rules the audience can trust. Play Dirty aims for that swagger but keeps slipping on its own tone, ricocheting between hard-boiled grit and broad comedy. We dive into why that mismatch turns big swings—a racetrack robbery, a physics-defying train derailment, a billionaire kidnapping—into set pieces that don’t c...

Send us Fan Mail Knights, Nazis, submarines, and a three-headed robo-dragon walk into a Transformers sequel… and somehow the wildest ingredients still feel weightless. We dig into Transformers: The Last Knight to figure out why the VFX slap while the story slips, how the Arthurian hook gets buried under MacGuffins, and where the franchise lost the character charm that made the first film sing. We...

Send us Fan Mail What happens when a movie you once despised suddenly makes you laugh out loud? We dive back into Strange Wilderness and pull apart why some of its dumbest jokes still work—and why the “movie” around them often doesn’t. We set the table with the film’s sketch roots, the Sandler-adjacent cast, and the loose, improv-first approach that leaves scenes searching for an ending. Then we z...

Send us Fan Mail What happens when a massive sequel forgets the one thing epics can’t live without—emotion? We take a scalpel to Gladiator 2 and dig into why the arena feels quiet even when the crowd is screaming. From a “last free city” setup that strains belief to a retconned bloodline that muddies legacy, the movie races for scale without building the spine that made the original unforgettable....

Send us Fan Mail A killer marionette, a sleepy music box, and a town that throws a FazFest for reasons no one can explain—welcome to our breakdown of Five Nights at Freddy’s 2, where the lore expands and the logic contracts. We dig into the 1982 prologue that binds Charlotte’s ghost to the puppet, the early-2000s reset that reopens old wounds, and the sequel’s habit of inventing rules only to igno...

Send us Fan Mail A ghost’s-eye horror should feel like slipping between walls, time, and truth. Instead, Presence hands us a floating wide-angle lens that wanders rooms, hides in closets, and forgets why it’s haunting anyone. We dive straight into why the concept is intriguing and how the execution leaves story, character, and suspense on the cutting room floor. We unpack the core craft problems:...

Send us Fan Mail A goat gag, a blow dart, and one perfect Norm Macdonald riff walk into a movie. We dive into The Animal with our gloves off and our sense of humor intact, asking a simple question that unlocks the whole watch: can lowbrow comedy land when the lead can’t elevate the bit? One of us relishes the film’s shameless silliness and second-screen charm; the other sees a conveyor belt of hal...