Glaswegians Anonymous

The lost Patreon tape from May has finally escaped the vault! Because Producer Paul absolutely fucked the schedule and went on holiday, we are dropping this absolute madness into the main feed. If you think the standard episodes are wild, the Patreon specials are on a completely different level of mental. In this episode: * The ultimate audio mix-up: Darren explains how he accidentally watched foo...

Lock in for a massive episode as the boys sit down with Glasgow’s own DJ and comedian, Mikey Motion, for a wild, hilarious, and unexpectedly deep conversation that covers absolutely everything. Things kick off with some utterly chaotic takes as Mikey drops a bold, highly controversial claim about putting Indian curry on pizzas (yes, really). From there, the filters are completely off as the guys d...

Live from a packed-out SEC Glasgow! The boys are taking the stage for our biggest, wildest live show yet, and we are joined by the absolute legend that is Kevin Brannigan (AKA the one and only Big Angie)! We’re diving deep into the chaos right from the curtain-raiser. Darren kicks things off by finally breaking his legendary 8-month dry spell the literal night before the show (pleasure responsibly...

The big news is finally out, people! Darren and Gary are officially moving in together. What could possibly go wrong? Darren’s already planning on installing surveillance, so we’re placing bets now on who completely cracks up first. Before the domestic bliss (or chaos) begins, the boys are tackling the hard-hitting issues: * Glasgow's New Look: Why we need to bin the current city layout and ju...

🚨 THE BIG ONE IS ALMOST HERE! 🚨The boys are back and desperation has officially set in. We need absolutely every single one of you to buy tickets to the SECOND live show in Glasgow on June 20th. Seriously. Buy a ticket, or Darren might actually push the big red button. In this episode, the lads attempt the impossible: trying to formulate a "family-friendly" podcast. Naturally, that imm...

In this week's episode, the boys trade the familiar cobbles of Glasgow for a chaotic "jolly" down to Liverpool. From getting unceremoniously rejected by a local Vietnamese restaurant to debating the finer points of restaurant etiquette, it’s a masterclass in how not to be a tourist. This week’s madness includes: Liverpool Diaries: A deep dive into the travel experience (and the uniqu...

The boys are back in the Studio for a chaotic catch-up! This week, the conversation takes a turn into the absurd as Gary reveals he’s back on the Mounjaro journey—and we’re not just talking about the weight loss. Somehow, the chat spirals from pharmacy visits to the baffling discovery that Asda is now effectively a medical hub. Also on the agenda: summer holiday planning. From the stress of bookin...

In this week’s episode of Glaswegians Anonymous, the boys are back to dissect the chaotic reality of modern travel and the even more questionable state of modern intimacy. Gary takes us through his recent Venetian escape, including the humbling experience of navigating the hostel scene—and shares his plans for his upcoming Swedish expedition. Meanwhile, the drama continues on home soil as we final...

Welcome back to another chaotic hour with the Glaswegians Anonymous crew. This week, the ego is high, the history is deep, and the "patter" is as sharp as a broken bottle of Buckfast. Muscle, Fame, and The Barras We kick things off with Darren, who has clearly been spending more time at the gym than the pub lately. He’s officially declaring himself a "beefcake," though the rest...

Welcome back to another chaotic installment of Glaswegians Anonymous . This week, the boys are balancing local stardom with existential dread, questionable dietary choices, and some very sketchy political ambitions. Gig News & Inky Bets Gary is heading up to Aberdeen , and the stakes are high. He’s officially pledged that if he sells out the gig, he’s getting an Aberdeen tattoo. Will he follow...

Buckle up, because Episode 36 of Glaswegians Anonymous goes off the rails faster than a shopping trolley in the Clyde. We started this session with the best of intentions, aiming for a civilized chat about summer holidays—sun, sand, and the inevitable Scottish sunburn. But, true to form, the conversation didn't stay "civilized" for long. What began as travel tips quickly descended into absolute, u...

Welcome back to another episode of Glaswegians Anonymous! In Episode 35, the mood swings from absolute buzzing excitement to some heavy, deep-seated chat. We’re covering everything from finally getting our hands on the gear to what happens when the lights go out. In this episode: • The Merch is HERE! 👕 Darren is absolutely over the moon because we’ve finally launched the official GA merch. We tal...

Buckle up, because Episode 34 is a pure rocket ship of nonsense. This week, the Glaswegians Anonymous crew are tackling everything from the local chippy to the lunar surface. We’re asking the big questions: Is Trump actually losing it? Can you claim disability if you're living in zero gravity? And exactly how far is Gary willing to go for a free meal? Inside This Episode: • Culinary Crimes: We...

The sun has finally made a guest appearance in Glasgow, which means two things: everyone is suddenly "taps aff" at Glasgow Green, and the unsolicited commentary is at an all-time high. In this episode, the gang gets into the grit of surviving a Scottish summer while navigating the unwanted gaze and the internal battle of body shame. The Heatwave & The HustleWe kick things off with a...

The boys are back and, quite frankly, they’ve reached a breaking point. This week, Darren and Gary recap their experience taking on the Open Goal Hot Wings challenge, but it wasn't just the spice that had them sweating—it was the camera angles. After a harrowing look at their own side profiles on screen, Gary finally snaps. In a monologue for the ages, he officially announces his retirement fr...

Buckle up for another dose of pure Glasgow patter as Gary and Darren return to the mics for a look back at a chaotic week. This episode is a proper mixed bag—ranging from nostalgic tech talk to some seriously questionable life choices. Here’s the script for this week’s madness: • Parenting or Procrastination? Gary explains why he spent his week building a den with the weans when they definitely sh...

In this landmark 30th episode, the boys are joined by a man who knows exactly what it takes to reach the top of the mountain: British and Commonwealth Featherweight Champion, Nathaniel Collins. Nathaniel takes us behind the curtain of the professional fight game, and it’s not all glitz and gold belts. We’re talking about the mental and physical torture of "the cut"—that brutal period bef...

In this week’s episode, Gary and Darren dive into a chaotic mix of rural life, questionable grooming habits, and high-stakes football tension. Here’s what the lads are getting into:• Farm Life & Nostalgia: Gary shares his experience going lambing, leading into a deep dive on how childhood has changed since "back in the day."• The Tech Struggle: A congested Darren explains why he ended up signi...

Welcome back to another chaotic episode of Glaswegians Anonymous. This week, the fitness regime has taken a bit of a turn, the nostalgia is hitting hard, and Darren’s social calendar is causing some serious domestic tension in the studio. On this week’s madness:• The King of Pop (via Greenock): Darren makes the pilgrimage to see a Michael Jackson tribute act. Let’s just say the moonwalk hits diffe...

Back with another week of madness with Darren & Gary:The Comedy Grind: Gary is officially "going demented" with full-time comedy. Between forgetting when the schools are off and showing up late, the lifestyle is clearly taking its toll.• The Digital Traitor: Hear how Gary used AI to create a cursed image of Charlie Mulgrew in a Rangers top. Is nothing sacred anymore?• Stage & Scr...

In this week’s chaotic installment of Glaswegians Anonymous, Gary and Darren prove that 9:00 AM is an ungodly hour for two comedians with ADHD to be operating heavy machinery (or even a microphone). From career milestones to hypothetical cellmates, the boys cover: • The 9:00 AM Struggle: An honest look at the brain fog and executive dysfunction that hits when you try to be funny before the caffein...

Episode 25 is coming at you live from the heart of the Barras! We set up shop in Smokey Trotter’s Kitchen with a list of audience suggestions and zero self-control. In true Darren and Gary fashion, the "plan" goes out the window within minutes as the boys spiral into a series of mad tangents involving childhood lofts, questionable grooming habits, and a smell Gary will never forget. The...

In this week’s episode of Glaswegians Anonymous, Gary and Darren take a deep dive into the chaotic spectrum of modern life—ranging from international warfare to the local chippy. The lads don’t hold back as they tackle the heavy hitters and the high-protein hitters, covering:• The Thin Blue Line: A heated debate on whether the police should be armed. Is it time for Glocks on the Gallowgate, or are...

Buckle up, because this week Darren and Gary are diving into the deep end of the "too much information" pool. In an episode that swings wildly from the medical to the geopolitical, no topic is too taboo (or too messy) for the lads to tackle. Inside This Episode:• The Deep Clean: Darren gives us a blow-by-blow account of his recent colonic irrigation. From the clinical dignity of the waiting room t...

Buckle up for another chaotic shift with the Glaswegians Anonymous crew! This week, Gary and Darren are trading the microphones for aprons—or at least they’re dreaming about it. Here’s what’s cooking in Episode 22: • The Roll of a Lifetime: Following the legendary Morton’s rolls saga, Gary and Darren discuss their newfound ambition to become the city’s next top bakers. • The Ultimate Filling: We s...