Eskimo Brothers

Adderall is the devil’s miracle. What’s up with rich people’s nannies looking like the wife of the house? Speaking of, shout out Ethan Klein. They’re calling it Klein/11. Even Jewish dudes rock? 🎸 We think the gayest way to come out would be to have an affair with your wife’s father. Think of all the drama and the pettiness and the spectacle of it all. If you’re delinquent on your car payments, d...

Sweet BB was the letter “O” in his school’s production of the alphabet. Shout on Ponton from The Pink Panther. To borrow from someone else, penis size by race is directly linked to how hard the path to penetration is. That’s science. Shout out to Bell Buckle. We went craftin’ and fairin’ and it’s just the best place. It’s crazy that Tucker Carlson is talking about bestiality and the FBI and is als...

Aerosmith used to rock ass. Steven Tyler saved that 15 year old from the twin towers…just a decade or two early. Our sweet baby Jack is back. Imagine being trapped in a cave with a bunch of Primus fans. ICP are single-handedly keeping Faygo in business. The people that work the Zyn tents at festivals are liars and they will disrespect your girlfriend. Shame them. A Michigan Mexican in Kentucky… th...

Hey, Dave Chappelle, go back to Africa. New podcast schedule because Jack is having a baby from his butt. Reddit is fucked up man. It gets dark. Shout out r/kitchencels and r/4tran4. People are literally insane. Our phones hit a flash every few seconds that you can only see through infrared. What’s that about? S/o Midnight Oil Have y’all seen the Holy man in India that cures hemorrhoids by sucking...

S/o Shannon S/o Molly Spaceman recaps Bourbon and Beyond Get out your K and your Acid and pretend you’re there. The Jews must have been at the festival because the weather was almost too nice. Counting Crows? More like “This-singer-has-an-ego-and-kinda-sucks-and-might-be-drunk Crows.” Spaceman was talking very cryptic. Sounds a little suspicioussssss. #bourbonandbeyond #beer #tequila #charleycrock...

Yeah Magic Boy and BB did one for you sweet babies. Spaceman is still at Bourbon and Beyond. Work is for losers who need money. We went over our night out at Zanie’s. William Montgomery is Magic Boy’s personal hero. That’s why he’s going to purchase a pistol with the serial filed so he can track him down and shoot him in the face. Does anyone ever think about just quitting it all and opening an ic...

Yeah… listen at your own peril. Spaceman is out of town and BB is becoming a father, so Magic Boy thought it would be a good idea to do a solo pod, lone wolf style. Yikes… We’ve got some changes coming up and if you guys bear with us it will be worth it. As a doctor, I approve this message. #comedy #podcast #lordsofdogtown #change #music #heart #eskimobros #bourbonandbeyond #fatherhood #future #an...

Katt Williams is our Edward Snowden or Julian Assange. If Magic Boy was a pornstar, his name would be “Double Chocolate Chunk.” We’re not buying what Ed Sheeran is selling. Cram it up your cramhole, Le Fleur. We get to talking all kinds of business practices. The movie “Mayday” is pretty good if you can look past all of the Russian propaganda. Jack has some wild ungentlemanly warfare tactics. As a...

David Bowie said to take your protein pills. The Ginger’s are beefing over Palestine.. shout out Robert Kraft. Spaceman needs new feet. In your snatch, fitzpleasure, a broom shaped pleasure. You ever seen someone throwing up, but silently? It doesn’t make sense. If you still believe in Santa, you’re retarded. No camera today… we had someone reach out to see if they could use it for an Israel/Pales...

Magic Boy learns the difference between metric and standard…the hard way. Everyone knows bigger brothers have undeniable hang. RIP Tim Curry. Aka Tim Slurry. A man recanted his damning statement about Jerry Sandusky and we’re just positive this is connected to the recent cocaine scandal. We told y’all Lindsay Clancy did dat shi. #believeallmen Morgan Freeman freaked on a family member. What a weir...

These GTA hacks have us leeeaaakkinggggg. Unfortunately, Drake is hogged out. Jacob Elordi. Would. Wuthering Heights was the og beat off book for women. “Hang on errebody, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.” Michelle Obama in her role as the shrunken head from Harry Potter. When you’re feeling down about being single, just remember that even The Thing from Fantastic Four was getting some nookie. She w...

We live in a world where Lil Pump and Miranda Cosgrove hooked up and Josh had to whoop his ass. We blame Dan Schneider for Jack’s early childhood crushes. Some people don’t get movies if there’s not an explosion within the first 3 minutes. Shout out the Mid-2010’s for bringing back the late 80’s. Idk what else to put… just listen #DrakeandJosh #nickelodeon #strangerthings #reddawn #danschneider #t...

Magic Boy wants to start a pump and dump scam.. y’all know about stocks or whatever? The prostitutes off Dickerson are acting up. We here at Eskimo Bros believe most things in life are like David Bowie’s homosexuality; you try 4 or 5 or 7 times and find out it’s not for you. Preachers’ daughters have been tasked, by their fathers and the lord, to get meats in seats any way they can. You ever loved...

The gummies might have gotten on top of us… Spaceman walked into his own shed to find Magic Boy showing off his piece on FaceTime, like actually. We get to talking holiday treats; BB brings up the Christmas tins, but Spaceman reminds us of the Easter 10’s. That’s when you find a dime piece at church and y’all get on your knees. We got a pod full of filthy toe suckers. It’s about time Jared Leto ge...

Shout out Ella Langley. Spaceman cheated in every Español class el had. The Eskimo Bros were not built for college if that wasn’t obvious. If Magic Boy ever sees that tuba player from TTU out and about, it’s on sight. It’s also on sight if we ever see Ms. Charlotte, the old guidance counselor from our elementary school. If you were pale back when Twilight came out, you probably cleaned up. Man or...

We knew lettuce was bad news, but we just couldn’t prove it. Imagine Paddy the Baddy, but it’s a woman and she’s Paddie the Baaaaaddie. We only understand Jaws, culturally, through the lens of the movie Master of Disguise. Plain black Tshirts are the white boy equivalent to all black forces. Shout out to the Mugsies of the world. That’s a cool name.

Yeah, the heat has us limping to the end of pride month and by heat, we mean the entire Miami basketball team. We get to talking road rage stories. Pirates were the first guys with game. “That booty so fine imma put it in a chest and bury it. Imma draw a map and folkannem won’t find it for a thousand years. That’s how much I love that booty.” The dragon from shrek; would you? This one is particula...

We know ball. DWade and Gabby are raising them right. Jill Taylor will chub you. Eskimo Bros guarantee. And whaddya know, evil hippies keep getting more evil. Stay away from the wools, kids. You might end up in a porta-potty. Do y’all ever get down on all 4’s in the shower and pretend you’re a bear catching salmon?

Normally it’s a non issue, but capitalism is so lame rn… they’re already making a live action Moana. America is about industry, cranking out hits, making money, fucking bitches; not baking cookies on the job for TikTok. RIP Daveigh Chase. If we’d have known you got down like that we would have had you on the podcast. Ace stops by to hang dong and show off his jewelry. Shout out Benny The Cannabus.

Madelyn Cline and Amanda Seyfried and Ana De Armas and Kate Beckinsale and Emma Stone and Kat Dennings and Zooey Deschanel and Kyra Sedgwick and Michelle Pfeifer and Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson and Joseph Gordon Levitt and Kate Mara and Rooney Mara and Shakira and…

The Juneteenth X Pride collab you’ve all been waiting for.. Jon is back. RIP Trevor Moore. Big Mike swung the hog and Josh Hokit no longer fights for the UFC. For some reason, it always gets to us tanning our behind-hole. Idk. We got to telling stories such as the time Magic Boy and BB’s sister punched Magic Boy in the testicles on an active news segment. Frosted Tips and Allen Iverson jerseys. Ta...

“Just like a young girl should.” Yikes Mick Jagger, yikes. Selena Gomez’ nose keeps growing because she’s living a lie; BENNY BLANCO IS NOT HOT. Publix is rich guy bullshit. They don’t even have women with T-Rex arms greeting you at the door. One time, our sister was in the hospital and she walked by a sweet little girl wearing a safety helmet. She walked right up to that sweet water head and got...

We get to talking the different types of male lengthening surgeries. If you’re a tweaker, or a crackhead, in the middle Tennessee area, Magic Boy’s place of employment will hire you. In the spirit of pride month, we have our first guest, Elijah. A.k.a. Elijah_gravy on IG. You know young heartbreak? Where you’re cheating, so y’all take a break; then she’s cheating, but not technically, since you’re...

Shout out Kenny Hoggers. “You gotta to know when to hold ‘em…” Ben Affleck as Batman was a fucking joke. Magic Boy KNOWS where squirt comes from. These nerds are getting out of pocket. Wtf is up with age regressors? S/o the pushers and the pullers of the world; keep doing your thing. Sam Levinson is weird af. What would you do if you got arrested and your diaper was full?