D.I.Y. Wellness

We are so ready to say that our leaders should stop bullying other countries while we still bully our own scared inner children. We get upset when human rights are violated while violating our own boundaries, limits and self-respect. We rally for more cooperation between institutions, states, governments, even PTAs and Home Owners Associations, but we are constantly at war with ourselves. The most...

We have been born into a specific culture with a specific set of rules. Every culture has these, both written (laws, codes, constitutions) and unwritten (traditions, customs, etiquette), and we all live according to them, by agreement, even if we don’t realize it, and don’t remember opting in, yes just like junk mail. The good news is that more and more people are starting to opt back out. In toda...

We have been taught to never give up. But overtime we’ve come to think that means a strong-willed singular approach to things, using force, grit, will, might and control. But the truth is that never giving up is actually more likely when we are flexible, consistent, adaptable and stable over time. In today’s episode, you’ll learn:-Why being rigid is expensive in an ever-changing world. -How learni...

We have been programmed relentlessly to believe that you make massive progress through bursts of effort followed by exhaustion, followed by the next burst of effort. But there is a much more satisfying (and effective) way to move your life forward. In today’s episode, you’ll learn:-How we became convinced to grit our teeth and force ourselves -How to self-grace can actually accelerate transformati...

Who we are during the mundane moments is who we are by default. And that’s who is going to show up in the bigger moments too. So we can look at our pet peeves as little mirrors that reflect back to us places where its easy to knock us off center. Pet Peeves can be a training ground if we let them. In today’s episode, you’ll learn:-How your pet peeves (both internal and external) can be used to fin...

Culture teaches us we are supposed to trust our gut, but nobody says “how” to do it. Society says we should listen to our intuition, but again, no set of instructions are ever forthcoming. And god-forbid you ask a follow up question about what intuition means exactly. Shrugs and blushes from the aunts and sent off with toy and some candy. Here’s the thing nobody told you: you are not supposed to t...

We are taught to make good choices. Be decisive. And then we are told that it had better be the right choice, or a good decision, because if not we are going to be ashamed, or held back or both. One bad decision can ruin the future. But the truth is decisions are mirrors and they reveal the present, not the future. In today’s episode, you’ll learn:-How decisions are mirrors revealing aspects of ou...

We’ve been told about the virtues of self-awareness. It can lead to transformation, epiphanies, insights, and personal joy. But nobody talks about the dark side. How at first Self-Awareness feel like crap because we are learning uncomfortable things about our “personality,” or so we think. The truth is that Self-Awareness comes in stages. And in that first stage we are NOT become more aware of who...

How to Be Consistent By Disrupting PatternsWe have been taught that consistency means sameness. Do the same routine. The same workout. Drive the same route to work. And we’ve been taught that consistency is a virtue. So now we have this mistaken idea that sameness somehow equals virtue. Nothing could be further from the truth. In today’s episode, you’ll learn:-How nature and reality thrive on cons...

The Power of Persistence in Pessimistic TimesWe have all heard the phrase “don’t take no for an answer” but when it comes to our well-being, healing, personal growth and development we take “no” for an answer all the time. No, you can’t fully heal trauma. No, you can’t ever heal an addiction. No, I really am NOT good enough. We can be persistent in business and relationships but still wholehearted...

We are told not to strive for perfectionism but only in lip service. In every other way we are encouraged to strive for perfect. Put on the finishing touches. Dot your I’s and cross your T’s. But the truth is that if we keep waiting to put something out there, or put ourselves out there, until it, or we, are perfect we are going to be waiting a long time. Perfect is an illusion, so it’s the lowest...

Emotions don’t mean what we think they mean. We’ve been taught that emotions are something to be managed, avoided, or addictioned away with shopping, scrolling, screwing, smoking or someotherthing-ing. The truth is emotions are guidance. Not because they verify or validate stories of the mind, they don’t. But because they reveal places in us where there are unmet needs. In today’s episode, you’ll...

Have you ever noticed that forcing yourself, pushing yourself, and admonishing yourself is only moderately effective but also wildly unpleasant? What if I told you there was a much more effective – and pleasant – way to make progress? Self-Judgement has had its chance to shine. And it led us here. To insomnia, chronic stress, multiple economic crises and a society on the brink. It is time to give...

The deeper and deeper we sink into the chaos and madness of modern society the more and more it can feel like peace is a luxury we can’t afford. Not only does it feel unaffordable, it also feels tone deaf, inappropriate, and unimportant in times like these. Like chewing gum in a nuclear explosion, what good will it do? But the truth is, cultivating the lost art of returning to peace in a world on...

In my causal avoid-my-emotions-scrolling routine the other day I saw a post that used the phrase “collapse-aware.” As in, folks who are aware we are in the middle of a society-wide, perhaps civilization-wide, collapse of systems. Gulp. Two things struck me about this: 1) Who isn’t collapse aware? I mean, we all see the world burning, don’t we? And 2) The phrase “collapse-aware” is a harbinger of h...

Letting “The Force” Guide Your WayOur culture has set us up with false choices. We are either spiritual or scientific, but God forbid we try to be both. We are either serious or fun-loving, but not both. But the truth is that a spiritual life also embraces science as well as laughter and fun. The choice is not between spiritual and not, the choice is between trust or not. In today’s episode, you’l...

Did you know there is something better than creating win-win situations. The universe speak in this language. This universal flow of energy goes beyond the benevolence and abundance of mere win-win situations. The nature of the universe, the language it speaks in, is the language of the Win-Win-WIN. When the situation is good for both parties AND also somehow makes the environment better for other...

Befriending Your Desires (By Trusting Your Curiosity) The things you desire are not random. They are guidance. The desires of your heart (not the ones installed by culture) are embedded guidance systems with the ability to lead us toward our best life. We just have to know enough to follow where they lead. In today’s episode, you’ll learn:-How to transcend culture’s program and tune into the desir...

Your Desires Are Not Random Desire gets a bad rap in our culture. We are taught to work hard, save rewards for the end, and delay gratification. That’s healthy sometimes. But it has led to the false idea that our desires are secondary, an after-thought, something we can pursue when there is time. But relegating our desires like this is also relegating one of our most potent forms of guidance. In t...

We are so certain that part of feeling better means avoiding the negative emotions and cultivating the positive ones. And that makes sense, logically, but it also happens to be wrong. Feeling better, paradoxically, means embracing and welcoming even the bad feelings. Telling ourselves the truth is powerful, and it leads to freedom. In today’s episode, you’ll learn:-How avoidance became so popular...

Cultivating Inner Friendship: A Life Long Practice Culture has certain rules. Unspoken rules that force us into a paradigm of competition. Get the best grades. Come in first. Get ahead. Dog eat Dog. So we adopt this competitive mentality internally too and never find the place of inner friendship that leads to thriving. In today’s episode, you’ll learn:-How are parts learned to become enemies inst...

If you grew up in chaos then you learned through experience that hyper-vigilance is the best way to stay safe. It was true at one point, back then, but hyper-vigilance as a way of life actually becomes dangerous: to our health, peace and longevity. In today’s episode, you’ll learn:-How Hypervigilance was a brilliant survival strategy when we were young-The danger of remaining chronically hypervigi...

Going At the Speed of My Slowest Part We have learned to push so hard that we burn out as a form of virtue. Expressions like “work ourselves to the bone” register as normal, when in fact that would be painful and crazy to do. Paradoxically, the way to make progress is not to drag, coax, convince, or force. Its cooperation. Relationship. Befriending. In today’s episode, you’ll learn:-How we learned...

Don't Cancel Yourself, Try Kindness Instead We have been taught to give ourselves a hard time when we make mistakes. Culture has conditioned us to believe that failure is bad, but the truth is failure is just feedback. I had two instances in the last week where I put my foot in my mouth and felt horrible. But I remembered to interrupt the pattern, and I chose self-grace instead. In today’s epi...

Making Friends with Your Inner Saboteur We’ve been told that if you do the inner work you will find lasting peace and happiness and your life will start to unfold according to the divine (and we think that means simple and easy) plan for your life. The truth is once you embark on the healing journey, you are on it for life. It is not linear and your old patterns can sneak up on you with no warning...