Can't Hardly Watch

This week we discuss the remake of the classic 1974 slasher film, Black Christmas- a movie with a plethora of wierd decisions and questions including what is Yao's ball sack a reference to?

What's that smell? Doo... doo... dookie! Dookie? No its just the forgotten Hulk Hogan vanity project, No Holds Barred!

This week we're having FREE FUCKIN' PIZZA! We discuss Eli Roth's Knock Knock, a film which addresses heavy topics such as sexism and infidelity and poses the question- Can a cock answer an IPhone?

This week we discuss Men, Women & Children, Jason Reitman's forgotten weird, perverted internet panic drama.

Trick or treat motha fucka! This week we discuss Halloween: Resurrection which features an all star cast that includes Busta Rhymes, Tyra Banks, and the guy from Americn Pie that jizzed in Stiffler's beer. Also we get a special appearance by Sean Patrick Thomas!

This week we welcome back our queen, Shannon Elizabeth to the pod. We discuss Thir13en Ghosts which plays more like a Commercial for Razor Scooters than a spooky horror movie.

This week we have a wiccan good time talking about the "ambitious" meta sequel to The Blair Witch Project- Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 which at no point even mentions the titualar book. 

This week we celebrate our 50th episode with the The Poughkeepsie Tapes- the ulitimate "one for us" whose trailer we saw all the time when we worked at the movie theater only for it to never come out. Was it because it was too extreame or because it just sucked? One things for sure, we never expected 9/11 to be a major plot point!

This week in preparation for David Gordan Green's The Exorcist: Believer we look back on John Borman's batshit sequel, Excorcist II: The Heretic. This time around Pazuzu is back and he's brought with him a swarm of locusts. There's also this weird Inception-esque dream machine and Reagan can now heal people of autism!?!? And there's TWO Reagans! We think?

This week we discuss the obscure, wannabe John Hughes family comedy, Big Girls Don't Cry... They Get Even starring one of the sisters from Home Alone. You won't be prepared for where this one goes.

This week we discuss one of the greatest superheo films of all time- The Flash starring America's sweetheart, Ezra Miller!

This week we discuss the forgotten Sci-fi kids flick, Star Kid about a bitch-ass tween who stumbles upon an alien cybersuit with the biggiest dumbie you've ever seen and complains about having to go pee for half the runtime. 

Happy Labor Day! This week we look back on some of the big movies that came out this year.

This week we discuss Communion, the forgotten "horror" film starring Christopher Walken about a writer who gets anal probed by dancing aliens.

This week we are coming.... to talk to you about one of Tony B's all time favs, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze!

This week we want room service! We want the club sandwich! We want cold beer! We want $10,000-a-night hookers! We're talkin Johnny Mnemonic, the 90s cyberpunk flop starring Keanu Reeves featuring a hacker dolphin and effects that would even make the creaters of ReBoot cringe!

This week we discuss Orca, the Jaws rip off that left producer Dino De Laurentiis wondering "Why! Why nobody like my whale!?!"

Happy Shark Week! This week the third dimension is terror as we discuss Jaws 3-D! 

This week we discuss Tiptoes, the infamous indie drama which sees Gary Oldman portraying a little person by walking around on his knees.

This week we discuss the adaptaion of Alan Moore's The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (or LXG if you're fuckin cool), an Avengers-esque team up of literary characters that will make you feel a refreshing draft in your nether regions.

This week we revist the first (and last) installment of the Dark Universe, the Mummy starring Tom Cruise!

In honor of the upcoming Dial of Destiny we decided to revist Indy's last adventure, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. If you love honey boys, aliens (ahem extradimensional beings), nuclear refrigerator escapes, and monkey business then grab your whip and fedora because you are in for a treat!

This week grab some Frito pies because we're dicussing the 2011 remake of the 80s classic, Footloose that is sexier than socks on a rooster!

This week our low self esteem is at an all time high as we look back on Michael Bay's 2009 sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. If you love incoherent CGI action, gratuitous shots of the military, dogs humping, robots humping, robot scrotums, and John Turturro's bare ass cheeks then HONEY BOY you are in for a treat! And remember the Matrix of Leadership isn't found it's earned!

This week we discuss The Book of Henry, Colin Trevorrow's bizzare drama-thriller that was so bad it lost him the Star Wars Episode IX gig.