Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee

I hit 500 days sober, fixed my kitchen sink, and made albondigas soup. Apparently, my celebration included plumber’s putty and meatballs. But underneath that sink, practically holding a glute bridge, I realized something: my workouts were paying off in a way I hadn’t planned for. Apparently, I wasn’t training for abs. I was training for plumbing. In this episode, I’m talking about the unexpected b...

“It pisses me off that I’m not more pissed off.” That’s what I’ve been trying to understand about my reaction to the Cornell sexual assault allegations. I’m angry. But I’m not shocked—and the familiarity bothers me. In this episode, I talk about being assaulted at twelve, thirteen years without a real conversation about what happened, and how everything afterward shaped what I believed about mysel...

Fifty-two episodes. One full year of sitting behind a microphone and figuring shit out in real time. To celebrate, I’m sharing 52 things I know now—about myself, relationships, work, money, ambition, self-trust, misplaced forks and building more in my life without diminishing what I’ve already built. Some lessons were hard-earned. Some are ridiculous. And some things? I still haven’t figured out a...

I want discipline, meaningful connection, commitment, and partnership. I’m just not convinced they have to look the way I’ve been told. In this episode, I’m questioning three templates I keep measuring myself against: the perfectly productive daily schedule, the five-person inner circle, and the idea that a committed relationship only counts if two people share one address. Maybe adjusting the str...

I’ve been called a single mom for years. It’s accurate—but it’s incomplete. I raised my boys as a single mother. They were also raised in a fatherless home because their fathers chose not to parent them. Those two truths are not the same, and the language we use determines where we place the scrutiny. In this episode, I’m talking about why society examines the parent who stayed while barely questi...

Apparently I’ve been conducting performance reviews on my own existence. 😂 Did I do enough? Make enough? Accomplish enough? Shouldn’t I be further along by now? And the weird part is, I can completely skip over what I’ve already done because I’m so focused on what I want next. So this week, we’re talking about the difference between taking inventory and grading your life —and whether we can appre...

Turning 50 has me thinking about the years I’ve already lived—and whether I’ve actually been participating in them or just getting really good at surviving them. In this episode, I’m talking about losing people too young, the strange privilege of getting older, ordinary Tuesdays, Aruba, and why I don’t want to keep postponing my life until everything is finally handled. Because this is the life. T...

Something feels uncomfortable—does that mean it’s wrong, or are you just doing something you’ve never done before? In this episode of Figuring It Out , we’re talking about intuition, fear, unfamiliarity, and why every feeling doesn’t have to become a decision. Sometimes the answer really is: “I don’t know yet.” And maybe self-trust is knowing you can make the best decision you can now—and f'in...

How much time do we spend looking backward—trying to understand who we were, why we made certain choices, or what we should’ve done differently? There’s value in understanding your past. Every season gives you lessons, information, and points of reference. But at some point… do we get to keep the lesson without constantly reliving where we learned it? In this episode of Figuring It Out , we’re tal...

Have you ever stopped to ask what you’re actually looking for from other people? Is it validation? Acceptance? Reassurance that you’re doing okay? And why does someone else’s reaction sometimes carry more weight than our own? In this episode, I’m talking about something I’ve been noticing in myself lately: how easy it is to focus on everything I haven’t accomplished YET while barely acknowledging...

What if burnout is real—but it isn’t the whole story? In this episode, Rachel talks about a podcast comment claiming people can’t burn out because they aren’t candles, why the internet reacted so strongly, and the question it made her ask instead. Sometimes “I’m burned out” is easier to say than “I’m scared,” “I’m grieving,” or “I don’t know what comes next.” Burnout may be the first word we reach...

We’ve all heard the phrase… “The version of you that got you here isn’t the version that’s going to get you there.” But what does that actually mean? This week, I’m unpacking the survival skills we pick up through life, why some of them still serve us, why others don’t, and how to stop looking back just to relive the past. Maybe it’s time to learn back instead. Let’s figure it out together. 💛

The internet tells us we’re waiting for confidence. I’m not so sure. This week, I’m talking about the difference between the things life chooses for us…and the things we keep putting off because we’re afraid we’ll fail. Or maybe even worse… That everyone else will see us fail. If you’ve been waiting to start something, this episode might change what you’re actually waiting for. Let’s figure it out...

Do we really need to put a label on everything? In this episode, we’re talking about boundaries, delayed text messages, “no response is a response,” and why maybe…just maybe…not every interaction needs a psychological explanation. Sometimes people are busy. Sometimes they’re overwhelmed. Sometimes they’re just at Costco. Maybe it’s time we stopped diagnosing every normal human moment and started g...

You think you know someone… But what if you only know one chapter of their story? In this episode, I share a few stories from my own life and why they’ve completely changed the way I think about people, assumptions, and what it really means to be known.

What happens after survival mode? We spend so much time trying to get through the hard seasons of life that nobody really talks about what comes next. In this episode, I’m sharing the story of losing my job shortly after moving across the country, spending months trying to get back on my feet, and the surprising realization that came after life finally settled down. Because the biggest challenge w...

By the time this episode airs, I’ll be just shy of 13 months without a drink. For a long time, I thought alcohol was helping me relax, have fun, and care less about what other people thought. Looking back, I don’t think alcohol was the problem. I think my relationship with my emotions was. In this episode, I share why I stopped drinking, the role shame played in that decision, what sobriety has ta...

For a long time, I would’ve thought the answer was no. If someone truly loved you, wouldn’t they know what you needed? Wouldn’t they know how to show up? In this episode, I’m sharing a personal story about my parents, what I’ve learned about expectations, communication, and why disappointment doesn’t always mean a lack of love. We talk about: 💛 Expecting people to love us the way we would 💛 Why...

This episode is probably going to ruffle some feathers. Everywhere you look there’s content telling men what they should do for women. Provide. Protect. Create emotional safety. Communicate. Be patient. And a lot of that is valid. But somewhere along the way the conversation stopped being about healthy relationships and started being about one person doing all the giving while the other does all t...

When people hear the hard parts of someone’s story, it’s easy to assume that’s the whole story. But what about the good things? In this episode, I’m talking about the memories, people, communities, traditions, and experiences that shaped me in positive ways. From Christmas luminaries and homemade donuts with my Grammy to volunteer firefighters, lifelong friendships, and raising my boys, this is a...

We hear phrases like “If they wanted to, they would” and “They’re emotionally unavailable” all the time online. But what if the reality is more complicated than that? In this episode, Rachel explores the difference between emotional unavailability, emotional overwhelm, emotional awareness, and emotional capacity. From relationships and conflict to trauma, nervous system regulation, and personal gr...

In this episode, Rachel talks about inherited self-doubt, emotional conditioning, generational pain, relationships, and the invisible rules many of us grow up living by without ever consciously choosing them. From a moment at 19 years old that quietly changed how she viewed herself, to the emotional patterns that followed her into relationships, motherhood, and adulthood — this episode explores ho...

This episode is about grief, mental health, suicide, and the things people say without realizing who might be listening. Rachel opens up about losing her brother Jason to suicide, the complicated realities of mental health, addiction, shame, and the emotional aftermath left behind for families who survive it. But this conversation is bigger than loss. It’s about awareness. The way pain changes how...

Most people say they’re overwhelmed. But what if that’s not actually the problem? In this episode, I’m talking about the difference between being overcommitted, overwhelmed, and overinvolved — and how staying “busy” can become one of the easiest ways to avoid dealing with yourself. I talk about: - using busyness as distraction - being emotionally consumed by everything around you - why “I don’t ha...

This week, I had a realization I didn’t love. Not because anything big happened — but because I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I’ve been showing up… but not fully. Doing enough to say I did something, but not enough to actually move things forward. And once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. In this episode, I talk about: • the difference between showing up and fully showing up • how outside things can s...