Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee

You think you know someone… But what if you only know one chapter of their story? In this episode, I share a few stories from my own life and why they’ve completely changed the way I think about people, assumptions, and what it really means to be known.

What happens after survival mode? We spend so much time trying to get through the hard seasons of life that nobody really talks about what comes next. In this episode, I’m sharing the story of losing my job shortly after moving across the country, spending months trying to get back on my feet, and the surprising realization that came after life finally settled down. Because the biggest challenge w...

By the time this episode airs, I’ll be just shy of 13 months without a drink. For a long time, I thought alcohol was helping me relax, have fun, and care less about what other people thought. Looking back, I don’t think alcohol was the problem. I think my relationship with my emotions was. In this episode, I share why I stopped drinking, the role shame played in that decision, what sobriety has ta...

For a long time, I would’ve thought the answer was no. If someone truly loved you, wouldn’t they know what you needed? Wouldn’t they know how to show up? In this episode, I’m sharing a personal story about my parents, what I’ve learned about expectations, communication, and why disappointment doesn’t always mean a lack of love. We talk about: 💛 Expecting people to love us the way we would 💛 Why...

This episode is probably going to ruffle some feathers. Everywhere you look there’s content telling men what they should do for women. Provide. Protect. Create emotional safety. Communicate. Be patient. And a lot of that is valid. But somewhere along the way the conversation stopped being about healthy relationships and started being about one person doing all the giving while the other does all t...

When people hear the hard parts of someone’s story, it’s easy to assume that’s the whole story. But what about the good things? In this episode, I’m talking about the memories, people, communities, traditions, and experiences that shaped me in positive ways. From Christmas luminaries and homemade donuts with my Grammy to volunteer firefighters, lifelong friendships, and raising my boys, this is a...

We hear phrases like “If they wanted to, they would” and “They’re emotionally unavailable” all the time online. But what if the reality is more complicated than that? In this episode, Rachel explores the difference between emotional unavailability, emotional overwhelm, emotional awareness, and emotional capacity. From relationships and conflict to trauma, nervous system regulation, and personal gr...

In this episode, Rachel talks about inherited self-doubt, emotional conditioning, generational pain, relationships, and the invisible rules many of us grow up living by without ever consciously choosing them. From a moment at 19 years old that quietly changed how she viewed herself, to the emotional patterns that followed her into relationships, motherhood, and adulthood — this episode explores ho...

This episode is about grief, mental health, suicide, and the things people say without realizing who might be listening. Rachel opens up about losing her brother Jason to suicide, the complicated realities of mental health, addiction, shame, and the emotional aftermath left behind for families who survive it. But this conversation is bigger than loss. It’s about awareness. The way pain changes how...

Most people say they’re overwhelmed. But what if that’s not actually the problem? In this episode, I’m talking about the difference between being overcommitted, overwhelmed, and overinvolved — and how staying “busy” can become one of the easiest ways to avoid dealing with yourself. I talk about: - using busyness as distraction - being emotionally consumed by everything around you - why “I don’t ha...

This week, I had a realization I didn’t love. Not because anything big happened — but because I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I’ve been showing up… but not fully. Doing enough to say I did something, but not enough to actually move things forward. And once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. In this episode, I talk about: • the difference between showing up and fully showing up • how outside things can s...

Most people are waiting to feel ready before they give themselves anything good. Waiting to like what they see in the mirror. Waiting to fix the patterns. Waiting for the feeling to arrive first. The feeling isn’t coming first. The action is. In this episode Rachel Lee breaks down what self love actually looks like in real life — not the concept, not the aesthetic, but the actual practice of showi...

Most people think they need more clarity. More awareness. More time. More answers. But that’s not what’s keeping you stuck. In this episode, I’m talking about something that sounds simple — start with yourself — but almost nobody actually understands what that means in real life. Because this wasn’t me for most of my life. I wasn’t aware of my patterns. I wasn’t “doing the work.” I was living on a...

This week I learned something I didn’t know before. Next Sunday is Divine Mercy Sunday — the day Jesus appeared to his disciples after the resurrection and showed them his wounds. Not to say look what happened to me. But to say — look. I’m still here. And I thought — that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do on this podcast. There’s a difference between a wound and a scar. For a long time I empha...

There are people who fall apart. And then there are people who don’t. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Why don’t I feel more than this?” or “Why do I just keep going no matter what’s happening?” This episode is for you. In this episode of Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee, we’re talking about what actually happens when you’ve spent most of your life handling everything — and never stopping l...

Why does other people’s behavior start bothering you more as you grow? In this episode of Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee, Rachel explores the connection between self-awareness, judgment, and personal growth — and why increased awareness often leads to decreased tolerance. She shares honest insights on noticing judgment in others, recognizing it within yourself, and understanding how past patterns...

What if joy isn’t something life gives you — what if you have to steal it back? In this episode, Rachel Lee gets honest about something she’s never fully named before: the practice of stealing joy from the moments that try to take everything. Not toxic positivity. Not silver linings. Defiance. Rachel shares the real stories behind how she learned to steal joy — from the relationships that ended an...

Awareness is often the first breakthrough in personal development. You start noticing your patterns, your habits, and the beliefs that shape how you react to the world. But awareness alone doesn’t change your life. In this episode of Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee , Rachel breaks down the gap between awareness and real change — and why so many people stay stuck even after they understand their pa...

What do we actually mean when we tell someone, “You’re not broken” ? In this episode of Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee , Rachel breaks down why that phrase—while usually well-intentioned—often misses the point entirely. Most people aren’t walking around thinking they’re defective. They’re exhausted. Overwhelmed. Numb. Grieving. Disoriented. And reassurance without specificity doesn’t help them un...

Why do certain moments hit harder than they should? Why does something small create a reaction you can’t logic your way out of? In this episode of Figuring It Out , Rachel Lee breaks down what triggers actually are — not something to fix or get rid of, but a signal your body has been here before. Using personal stories and real-life examples, Rachel explores how triggers repeat not as the same sit...

Why does calm feel uncomfortable? Why do good things make you brace instead of relax? In this episode of Figuring It Out , Rachel Lee breaks down what receiving actually means — not accepting help, not saying thank you, but allowing something good to exist in your life without preparing for its disappearance. Growing up in chaos wires your body to stay alert. Even when things are going well, you d...

Saying yes doesn’t always mean you're helpful. Sometimes, it means you're hiding. In this soul-shaking episode, Rachel Lee breaks down why overcommitting isn’t about productivity — it’s about pain. From organizing a football league while grieving, to quietly unraveling under the praise of being "so capable," Rachel shares what it really looks like to trade performance for peace....

What if being “the strong one” is actually just… self-abandonment in disguise? In this raw, resonant episode, Rachel Lee unpacks the hidden cost of looking impressive on paper — while quietly unraveling underneath. From staying overnight at the office (twice), to realizing her identity was built on being useful, Rachel tells the truth about performance, praise, and the parts of us that get buried...

What does it really look like to live like you’re worth it — even when you don’t feel like it? In this episode of Figuring It Out, Rachel Lee shares the messy, layered, and very human journey of reclaiming self-worth. This isn’t a highlight reel. It’s the real work of choosing yourself, again and again. Inside this episode: * Why knowing your worth isn’t the same as living it * The subtle ways unw...

What does it really mean to protect your peace? In this episode, Rachel Lee unpacks the often-misunderstood topic of access — who gets insight into your world, your energy, your emotions — and why it matters. From boundary confusion to oversharing habits, Rachel shares personal stories of what happens when access is given to the wrong people… and how to reclaim your voice without apology. You’ll l...