Midnight Wisdom

The Sage's Card. The Instrument of Power. The Seeds of Color. Planted.

21.04.2024 23:00 Sunday. Feeling raw and available. What a wonderful experience. Coming from my heart a lot more. Afraid of not being in connection. Afraid of going back to old patterns. Afraid of losing access to the open doors of a golden place in my heart. And life continues. And that is why many of its moments can be beautiful to begin with.

09:29 13.04.2024 Sunday. Took a break from packing my bags to record this. Went to Mahadeens to talk music the other night. Allahu Akbar. Work work work (wc3 peasant sound). New housemates, Chiara leaving. Yo. Bald now.

15:29 Sunday 07.04.2024 omw to Berghein walking there and going to be there in a few minutes. Sunny lovely weather. New Moon tomorrow.

23:39 2024.03.31 ich sitze neben Momo in Iserlohn. Er spielt ShadowFight 2 und die Familie sitzt mit Freunden. Wir hatten vor kurzem unten unter rucken trainiert und Horse-stance für 2 Minuten gemacht. In diesem Folge habe ich drei Voicenotes. Eins an Johannes, eins an Papa und eins an Mousa. Papa war erst, dann direkt Mousa, und Johannes war vor 40 Minuten.

23:46 24.03.2024 got a new couch. Overheard some guy talking about content marketing. Dads health is bad again. Finished reading: Green Mile. Write Useful Books. Reading Solo Leveling. Doing 3x duolingo classes a day in Japanese. Figured out my camera settings. My microphone settings. Set my basis in a lot of things. Did I say I got a new couch?

23:29 17.03.2024 Watched The Bear season 1 and 2 this week. Last pages of The Green Mile. Finished writing ‘Escape’. Proofed first seven chapters of “The Cure”. Wrote more in other directions. Courses im taking: intro to architecture, intro to political science, ninja writing. Planned different courses, marketing opportunities. Sent an email to Karim with a task for him to do. Trips to: Hero Journ...

23:51 10.03.2024 raised 350 for Gaza and Zaks family.

Recorded Friday 8-9 pm. I talk about the new shoes I got and how amazing of an experience it is. Also about how things got together for me to run into a lot of people I touched base with in Berlin. The one I didnt mention was Marlena or something like that. Also saw her, she didnt see me in the train. i smiled and continued towards neukölln on Thursday. I don’t chase distance.

Recorded Monday 4th of March 2024. After yoga class. Remembered Tami and Mousa and how I always chase distance. I don’t want to chase distance.

23:02 03.03.2024 Changed my mind about work again. Looking forward to the structure and knowing im doing something that directly pays me. Ill have to see how I manage my energy. Did a breathwork class last evening and the facilitator was in front of me breathing and I couldnt breathe because his breath stank.

25.02.2024 09:58 week 280 of doing this feels like there’s something to celebrate about that. Shared generally how my diet and lifestyle are.

24.02.2024 00:04 ashraf and I had a long conversation. Valentines day tantra event. Riccy and I breaking up. Party coming up in two weeks

What do you do when you have no energy to upload an episode but promise yourself to?

10.02.2024 11:30 am Saturday. Got the chance to talk and catch up with my first friend Ramez Azizi. We touched all topics good male friends touch: Career, politics, army, and life goals. And most importantly, waste management in large cities. A little bit of Arabic and English together. Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwdVC9wZIOY&t=2s

Filmed for the first time. Youtube Link: Sunday 04.02.2024 1:39 pm. I have a new haircut. Vegan atm. Much more balanced. New room setup. Mic and camera setup. Realised I need to grow on youtube more slowly than go as fast as I keep telling myself. Slow and steady wins the race. I talk about a challenge of beginning meditation. The idea of beauty. Growth. And reflect on a few things that happened t...

20:37 26.01.2024 Went to the gym after work and meditated. Then I felt extremely tired and that I didnt want to work out. I stretched and did good exercises while listening to sub urban, foam rolled, then went home and recorded (after grocery shopping). I reflect on the week.

00:32 20.01.2024 In bed after eating and brushing my teeth. I love that I feel so safe around my parents. I love that they love me. I love that they know me through and through and still choose to love me this much. It hurts a bit to know I have to go back. But I’m grateful that it worked out so smoothly to come and be here. I remember how smooth it was on the day of my flight.

23:30 14.01.2024 mama is sitting in front of me. She told me she cried all day and my coming here didn’t make her feel comfortable. But she loves me. It’s so easy to get into useless circles with people we love or want to love. And my heart closed somehow and I don’t want to force it to open. And I don’t want to keep telling my mother to change.

Recorded 11:25 pm before my flight to Amman last night on the 7th of Jan. Arrived at 4 am at 08.01 (Amman time). Unfortunately didn’t have internet for longer than 30 mins at the airport and I forgot to upload. Upload now on 11:13 pm 08.01.2024 (Berlin time). My watch is running on Berlin time while my phone is running on Amman time. Interesting to keep both in check because my sleep pattern is mo...

31.12.2023 writing this on 01.01.2024 19:19 pm. Ashraf and I went to the gym, came back home, made him a hot bath and food and then we played ps4. He was carrying too much and I wasn’t so comfortable. So much for unconditionally loving people. I think she should finish his training and his degree. He asked me some weird things and I found him generally much more disconnected than before. Wanted to...

22:23 31.12.2023

09:36 24.12.2023 Sitting in a new apartment. Recording early in the morning. Should head out to the gym soon. I dislike so much how coffee effects my sleep. I see how much actions hurt people like my mom, people I shouldn’t hurt. And yeah, I’ll hopefully see her well in Amman.

19:26 17.12.2023 I think out loud and cook (a few days ago), then reflect without much talking about the day I’ve had. That’s the vibe I’m in.

12.12.2023 trying to find my wallet to put the credit card