Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Have you ever felt stuck between two good choices?   Through my personal story of leaving a life I loved to join the Peace Corps, I illustrate how choosing between two good things - while challenging - can lead to profound growth and fulfillment.   If you're struggling with a decision that feels impossible because both options have value, this episode is for you.   Get full show notes, transcript,...

Feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world? Wondering how to focus on your own personal struggles—like dealing with infidelity—when global crises seem so much bigger?     In this episode, I explore how to stay engaged with the world's problems without being consumed by them. You'll learn why tending to your own challenges is not selfish but essential, and how taking responsibility for what you...

Does your partner's sexual past make you uncomfortable? What if you found out they had exchanged sex for money before you met - would that feel like cheating?   These are the kinds of thorny questions I tackle head-on in this week's episode. I'll help you examine your beliefs about sex work, infidelity, and how much of our pasts we need to share with new partners.   Whether you've been on either s...

Have you ever felt like you have competing desires when it comes to relationships? Like part of you craves freedom and adventure while another part yearns for deep intimacy and stability?   Astrologer Karen Hawkwood joins me this week to discuss how astrology can provide a framework for understanding these complex and often paradoxical needs. We also discuss how legitimizing all parts of ourselves...

Is paying for sex cheating?     In this week's episode, I dive into the complex intersection of sex work and infidelity. I explore how to be a conscious consumer of sexual services, the social stigma around sex work, and the diversity of experiences within the industry. I also address listener questions about the risks and benefits of seeing sex workers versus having an affair.    Get full show no...

Have you ever wondered if your astrological chart holds clues to your relationship patterns and tendencies?     In this episode, I sit down with teacher and practitioner of archetypal astrology, Karen Hawkwood, to explore how astrology can provide valuable insights into the parts of ourselves that shape our experiences with infidelity.   Whether you're well-versed in astrology or simply curious ab...

What would your life look like a year from now if you resolved your infidelity situation in a way that felt really amazing to you?   Do you struggle to imagine what resolving your infidelity situation could look like? Listen in this week as I dive into the power of envisioning your ideal future and guide you through a series of prompts that will help you imagine the most delightful, satisfying res...

What if I told you that the key to making positive changes in your life is self-love and acceptance, not self-loathing?   It may sound counterintuitive, but giving yourself credit for what you HAVE done can be incredibly motivating, especially if you've been beating yourself up over infidelity. In this episode, I guide you through an exercise to reflect on your accomplishments, big and small, over...

Do the holidays have you feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place in your infidelity situation? You're not alone.     Trying to balance family obligations with an affair partner's desires can seem impossible. But even when you don't like your options, you still have choices. In this episode, I explore real-world scenarios and discuss how to identify your options, make decisions you feel good...

What's more important to you - your money or your freedom?   If you're stuck in a marriage you don't want to be in but are reluctant to leave because you don't want to lose half your wealth, you're not alone. Many of my clients grapple with this dilemma.   In this episode, I dig into what money really means to you and how to weigh that against the freedom to live life on your own terms. I share st...

Are you struggling with the idea of breaking up with your affair partner? How do you tell them it's over in a way that doesn't sound like an ultimatum? Is it possible to stay friends afterwards? And what if you work together - how do you navigate that?   This is a uniquely challenging situation that brings up a lot of difficult questions, but I've got you covered. In this episode, I provide compas...

High-conflict breakups are always going to be tricky. And when infidelity is involved, feelings can get amplified, leading to some pretty interesting behavior. Some people have a particularly hard time when a relationship comes to an end, feeling sad, hurt, rejected, unloved, abandoned... even worthless.   So, how do you go about extricating yourself from a relationship with someone who is (to put...

Does your marriage or your committed relationship CURRENTLY feel like home to you? Or are you running off of memories of what your relationship once felt like to you? If you are dissatisfied with your committed relationship to the point where you're seriously considering leaving, but you think you can't leave because your sense of home is predicated upon you staying, I invite you to listen in this...

No matter what you've done or are doing in regards to your infidelity situation, you are worthy of acceptance, love, and respect. As you'll hear in this episode, I explore the idea that there ARE people out there who will understand and accept you, even if they know all the details of your infidelity. While it may seem like everyone would judge and shun you, that simply isn't true. I also answer a...

What do you do if your ex-affair partner's spouse wants to talk to you about the affair? Do you owe them an apology or explanation? Is there actually anything you can say to make this person feel any better?   In this episode, I explore the tricky question of what, if anything, you might want to offer the partner of someone you had an affair with. I discuss how to set boundaries that align with yo...

Have you ever reconnected with a former flame and found yourself in an affair, wondering if this is your second chance at true love? When people are engaging in affairs with someone they've been involved with in the past, they tend to see these relationships as an incredibly high-stakes situation.   Tune in this week to look at some of the major challenges of engaging in affairs with old lovers, h...

Are you tolerating aspects of your life and relationship situations that you shouldn't? This week, I dive into what happens when we tolerate things we don't like, and why we so often think we have to put up with them when we don't. Find out why so many people don't want to acknowledge that they are tolerating things they dislike in their affair relationships, the problem with disliking something a...

Something I hear regularly is the belief that relationships that begin as affairs cannot transition into non-affair relationships. A lot of folks I work with are CONVINCED that if they start an affair relationship, it will never be able to get onto "normal" footing, and it is simply doomed to fail. But does this have to be true? Is this what you want to be true for your relationship?   In this wee...

Are you facing doubt in your infidelity situation? Do you want to make a decision but feel uncertain about what the right decision is? Maybe you are unsure whether to end things with your marriage and pursue a relationship with your affair partner. Maybe you don't know whether your marriage is worth fighting for. Maybe you worry about the impact that exposing your affair or leaving your committed...

If you are married or in a long-term relationship and also involved with someone else, there may be one big question on your mind when you think about ending your committed relationship: what exactly do you owe yourself, your partner, or your relationship before you can decide to leave it?   This week, discover why you feel so much pressure to try everything before leaving your committed relations...

Do you ever find yourself fantasizing about your ex-affair partner? Do you torture yourself reminiscing on the wonderful times you shared, and the amazing memories you hold with them, even though the infidelity situation has since come to an end?   Discover the reasons you might still be fantasizing about your ex-affair partner, and how to start to ease your way out of this if you really do want t...

There is a common belief that marriage should last a lifetime. So when somebody decides that they are dissatisfied with life as they know it, and engage in an infidelity situation as a result, it is commonly labeled as a midlife crisis. But what if waking up one morning and deciding you are dissatisfied with your life is a wonderful opportunity to reexamine what you want and what you want to do ab...

The Magic Button that I'm diving deeper into this week is the one you wish you could push to answer all your questions about your infidelity situation. The one that, when you push it, your infidelity situation magically resolves in a way that you are delighted with, without you having to do much of anything. That magic button would solve all your problems, right?    I teach you how to contend with...

People often freak out when infidelity occurs, even if it has pretty much zero impact on their lives. It gets treated as a big scandal that the "perpetrator" needs to redeem themselves from. Whether or not you buy into the idea that scandal, disgrace, and redemption are real things, other people turning your experiences into a public spectacle is a very real thing, and it's a pretty big deal.   Tu...

Have you ever found yourself in an affair situation with someone who is monogamously committed to someone else? For a while, your partner is pretty sure they want to leave that relationship and pursue a non-affair relationship with you. They share their intentions to leave their partner for weeks, months, or even years, and they may even take action to prove these intentions.    Then, one day, you...