Your Secret Is Safe With Me

When it comes to infidelity, there are a lot of different thoughts that may run through someone's mind. Why did this happen? Did I do something wrong? And, importantly: what do we do now? The response to infidelity looks different for everyone. While some couples may choose to work it out, others may look to divorce—which, in many cases, involves the discussion of custody agreements, property divi...

There's a lot of black and white thinking when it comes to the way we regard infidelity as a society. You're either cheating or you're not; you're either right or you're wrong; you're either good or you're bad. In Suzannah Weiss's case, however, she was largely operating in the gray. As a sex and relationship writer, Suzannah went through her own experience of cheating, for lack of a better word,...

Depending on who you're talking to, polyamory can be a bad word. Many people believe that entering a poly relationship is an excuse to have your cake and eat it too, a way to exert control over a significant other, or a loophole to avoid breaking up. Magenta Brooks is here to tell you that polyamory—and more specifically, ethical non-monogamy—is none of those things. With honest communication and...

Why are you married? Did you fall in love with another person and come to a decision to share your lives together with official documentation? Did you feel happy? Or, did you feel pressured, like you had no other choice? To date, marriage is still seen as the most legitimate form a relationship can take. Coupled with surmounting societal pressure to "settle down" once you reach a certain age, it c...

Guilt. Shame. Embarrassment. These are often the first few words that come to mind when we talk about affairs. What you might not know, however, is that affairs involve a complexity of emotions, including confusion, anxiety, and yes, even excitement. Recognizing and processing what you're feeling during an affair requires some real work and hard confrontations. But, if you're honest with yourself...

So, you're in a monogamous relationship and you've been seeing someone outside of it. Or, perhaps you've found out that your partner has another relationship that you knew nothing about. The question remains the same: how do you talk about it? For nonviolent communication specialist Joyce Swaving, honest communication is key. But to ensure that you're communicating safely and effectively, it's imp...

The college degree, the 9-5 office job, the white picket fence, and, most importantly, the loving spouse and 2.5 children: once you've achieved these, you have it all! Or, do you? Whether we're aware of it or not, we've been taught that there's a right way to do life—especially when it comes to our romantic relationships. In our culture, we're told that to have a healthy love life, we must have on...

Think about the last time you were in a difficult situation. How did you maneuver it? Were you ultimately able to choose how to move forward? And most importantly: was the decision you made in your own best interest? There's a lot that goes into our decision-making process—probably more than we realize. When you're operating in the gray area of what's "right" and what's "wrong," it can be hard to...

It's that pivotal scene in the movie: The couple who has been at odds is about to consummate their passion and get into bed. Things are getting steamy, clothes are being thrown around, and then they're under the sheets. But did anyone reach for protection? A condom? A dental dam? Anything? With references to protection being left out of scenes like this in movies, books, and porn, it begs the ques...

The human spectrum of emotion is vast; we can feel any number of them in any given hour. But, with the way that we're socially taught how to express and process what we're feeling, that scale ends up feeling a lot shorter. So how can we more consciously experience our emotions in our day-to-day lives? According to Mark Anthony Haviland, the ability to physically experience our emotions is somethin...

How do you respond to conflict? Do you shut down and try to push the discomfort away? Or, do you barrel through the situation and burn down anything in your path? Whatever your response, do you take the time to process what you're feeling? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many of us never slow down long enough to process our emotions. In fact, more often than not, we don't know what we're actually f...

Have you ever been in a sticky situation and felt unable to reach out to a friend or family member for advice? What if that sticky situation was an affair—do you know how you would work it out? Do you have anyone you'd feel safe enough to call? More often than not, the answer is no. The stigma surrounding infidelity is pervasive, but what people who are going through this situation need most is a...