Your Other Family

It’s our first episode of 2022, and we’re hitting the year running with a self-examination of bitterness. What do we hold against God, against others, and against ourselves? As it relates to our sexuality, where have we grown bitter in these three areas, and where is the blessing? Join Tom, Ben, and Will as we share some of our descents into bitterness, as well as our climbs into the sweetness of...

Tom is joined by fellow YOB cofounder Matthew to kick off a new year of podcasts! We chat about 2022 and how Matthew thinks this will be the sequel year to 2020 (as opposed to 2021), and we spend the bulk of our time discussing the broiest (YOBiest??) Spider-Man movie of all-time, Spider-Man: No Way Home. SPOILER ALERT in case you haven’t seen it yet! Fast-forward to 19:53 to skip all the movie ta...

What is home? Do we feel at home with our families this holiday season, or do we feel anything alien? Do we dare spend our Thanksgivings and Christmases with friends and chosen family rather than biological family certain years? Or is it okay even to spend a holiday alone, if only to avoid the stress of the season? Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron for our final YOBcast of the year as we discuss where --...

Kevin returns to talk about some of his latest reads! Including one of Tom’s favorite books, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller, which inspires you to live a life worth reading about. Tom and Kevin also talk about the magic of camp once again, early morning prayer gatherings at this year’s YOBBERS retreat, and a shared love for hoodies – sleeveless or otherwise. LINKS FROM THE SH...

As people of faith attracted to the same sex, we’ve learned to wait – and wait, and still wait. During this season of Advent, we connect our waiting for Christmas to our waiting for redemption, completeness, and peace. We share our histories with Advent, or lack thereof, both past and present, including our Christmas traditions. As we shift to our sexuality, we hold both our tension and our hope –...

Bridget Eileen Rivera (from Twitter!) joins us, along with her cat. She’s the author of the new book, Heavy Burdens: Seven Ways LGBTQ Christians Experience Harm in the Church (and just the second woman ever to appear on our show!). We discuss the burdens sexual minorities face regarding matters of so-called “clarity” in Scripture, stereotypical versions of masculinity/femininity, assumed pedophili...

Tom welcomes back our resident Filipino Londoner, and the second Daniel in as many weeks! We catch up with Daniel on the other side of COVID as he now attends three small groups simultaneously. We mourn the loss of our international flavor at this year’s YOBBERS retreat, but we also discuss possibly holding Zoom calls more relative to European time zones? With increasing UK and European support, T...

Tom welcomes a longtime YOBBER to the show, and also the first guest to his recording studio! Dan has been pledging on Patreon since 2017, along with sharing a friendship with Tom that goes back to our first YOBBERS retreat in 2018. The guys discuss some shared travel stories from San Antonio to Albuquerque, including multiple traumatic events on the road that have forever bonded them. RATE/REVIEW...

Revoice exists to support and encourage Christians who are sexual minorities so they can flourish in historic Christian traditions. They recently held their first in-person conference since 2019, and we gathered to debrief our weekend together in Dallas! Which speakers resonated most with us? What moved us, and what challenged us? Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron for our recap of Revoice 2021, including...

Tom welcomes his pastor to the show! Fred shares some tales from a recent road trip with his mom and unpacks his call to ministry, including how he never expected to be a lead pastor. He also describes his "coming in" story: his first interactions with gay people going all the way back to high school and college, and also his learning about "Side B" gay/SSA people in the church. What advice would...

This summer Netflix released Pray Away, a documentary following the lives of former leaders of ex-gay ministries and survivors of conversion therapy. It's a heavy film, filled with heavy topics like abuse and self-harm. This may not be the podcast for you if it hits a bit close to home with your story. But if you watched the film and/or feel ready for our conversation on it, we hope this episode c...

Tom welcomes back Matthew as the technical “season premiere” guest for this next run of YOB ConvoCasts! The guys dive into “pool” workouts, favorite sandwiches, and trivia night fortes, with the big meat of this conversation being the topic of Stitch Fix. Tom recently got a seasonal subscription and loves the notion of the occasional stylish surprise; Matthew, not so much! Tom also makes a declara...

And we're back! After a summer retreat that reunited our supporters after two and a half years away, we return with a brand new YOBcast – with more episodes on the way! This episode we're talking about mountaintops and valleys: those proverbial "everything is bold and clear" and "everything is long and dark" seasons of life. Coming off a YOBBERS retreat is a mountaintop experience for many in our...

Dr. Paul Eddy of Bethel University joins us for our "season finale" of sorts to discuss covenant – particularly the covenant of friendship. Paul lays out the components of covenant, including terms and signs and witnesses, and translates this particular covenant to the grander scheme of God's eternal covenant with His people. Afterward Tom, Ryan, and Aaron "debrief" the discussion: do we desire co...

In our season finale Tom welcomes back the "Steve Martin" of YOB podcast guests, Nate! Nate catches us up on life as a traveling artist with his giant suitcase of chalk, and he spearheads a conversation on profanity. How have our Christian upbringings impacted our approach to profanity, and is it ever okay for believers to use certain words? We also dive into character flaws and whether we can eve...

Tom welcomes back Marshall after a long YOB hiatus! They chat about delicious gourmet pop-tarts, and Marshall catches us up on life post-pandemic, including losing his father. The guys also talk about spiritual family, growing older and staying single, and moving multiple times around the country more for community than careers. LINKS Marshall's YOB posts Tom's YOB posts Become a YOBBER! Theme mus...

Is fashion just for women, or can men enjoy fashion too? Is it "gay" or "metrosexual" to dress well or put a certain amount of effort into our wardrobe choices? How did we dress ourselves through adolescence, and what impacts how we dress ourselves today? Join Tom, Ryan, and Matt for a particular podcast topic Matt has been wanting us to discuss for years. We hope you enjoy the episode! ANNOUNCEME...

Tom welcomes back Kevin into the proverbial podcast studio for the first time in YEARS! They discuss his recent departure from the Jewel of the Blue Ridge, and then they talk about camp the whole episode. Going to camp. Growing at camp. Working at camp. Even kids who used to go to our camps who now work at camp. They linger on this question: would we ever work (or go to?) camp again?! LINKS Kevin'...

June is widely recognized as LGBT+ Pride Month. How do we as Jesus-followers engage with Pride Month – or is it even ours to engage with? How do we participate or spectate this month as gay/SSA believers with a traditional sexual ethic? Is there a place for us at this table and a space for us to be proud? Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron for a discussion on Pride Month. Have we ever been to Pride, or wou...

Tom welcomes back longtime YOB blogger, podcaster, and resident "sexpert" Matthew for a deep dive into death, grief, and how these difficult seasons either shape us or harden us. They also give some love to fellow YOB brother Dean, the bizarre adult playground-museum that is Meow Wolf, and Tom's (almost 40-year-old) virginity. LINKS Matthew's YOB posts Tom's YOB posts Become a YOBBER! Theme music:...

"Don't call yourself gay"; "don't have gay friends"; "pray harder for God to change you"; "act more manly"; "keep dating women until you find the right one." As sexual minorities, we often face objections from within our own faith, from fellow believers -- be they peers, parents, or pastors. How do we respond when we face objections for our sexuality? How do we move forward through the resistance?...

How does our sexuality impact the way we give and receive love from others, particularly other men? Why do quality time and physical touch rank high in our community? And where is the line between expressing the love we need and manipulating others with our love language of choice? Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron as we examine the five languages like never before through the lens of our sexuality: acts...

YOB's resident community welcomer, Keegan, joins Tom to talk about being a #LurkerNoLonger. He recounts the backstory of a voicemail he left for the YOBcast several episodes ago, and Tom’s heart soars over stories of brotherhood and beach bonfires from his former home in southern California. And the guys can't get away from this episode without talking about Keegan's now iconic welcome GIF for new...

Tom welcomes back YOB’s resident artist and cuddling aficionado, Eugene, for a discussion on physical boundaries between friends. They reference both Tom’s latest blog on crossing boundaries and Eugene’s latest blog on the nature vs. nurture debate! Additionally, Tom reveals some behind the scenes magic for rectifying the technical snafu that happened during last year’s ConvoCast recording with Eu...

Is masturbation sinful? What if it's done without lusting? Is masturbation "solo-sex" or "self-sex," and does it breech God's design for sexuality? What does the Bible have to say, if anything, about masturbation? Masturbation isn't an oft discussed topic in Christian circles, with many folks describing their childhood discovery of masturbation as if they had been the first ones ever to discover s...