Your Other Family

Michael makes his ConvoCast debut as one of YOB's newer bloggers and a fiercely established welcomer in our community! He shares with Tom about his love for Seattle and how his dog Rumour will not be making an appearance in this episode. Tom recounts meeting Michael for the first time at the 2019 YOBBERS retreat, including the brave moment when Michael “came out” to the whole group, and the guys s...

It’s an episode topic long requested and finally tackled as we discuss the world of Side B resources (or, those with a traditional sexual ethic). It's a world that has, thankfully, grown quite a bit in recent years. Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron for a conversation on our first found Side B resources and then our favorite ones, from books to blogs to various ministries. Check the list below for links t...

Tom hits the road and talks with longtime friend Matthew in the same room! The guys cover their weekend together in the Land of Enchantment (New Mexico), from the magical Balloon Fiesta to mystical White Sands National Park and multiple church services interspersed! The guys reminisce on 12 years of friendship, affirming one another for the growth they’ve seen in the other. They also discuss strai...

We open the scroll on our favorite Scripture stories once again, this time with Tom being joined by Ryan and Aaron! We discuss several Old Testament stories like Abraham and Isaac, Jonah, Hosea and Gomer, and Mephibosheth, as well as some New Testament stories like the man born blind, and Jesus and John at the Last Supper. How do these stories hit us in the crosshairs of our faith, sexuality, and...

Tom welcomes back Marshall to talk about things DEFINITELY NOT related to the Enneagram whatsoever. Marshall catches us up with his busy life on the farm, including a major life update of a dear friend’s impending marriage. Marshall shares both the negative and positive emotions involved in this coming change to the friendship, including being asked to be a groomsman. He reads from John 3:29 and d...

After a summer of Enneagram ConvoCasts, we’re back with a new YOBcast! It's a two-part episode where we dive into some stories in Scripture that speak to us as SSA/LGBT+ people of faith wrestling with these matters of sexuality and masculinity. For Part 1, Tom is joined by Ben and Will to discuss Hagar, Rahab, the woman at the well, and the early church. We also spend some time catching up with on...

Just when you thought our Enneagram series was finished – we're back with another Ennea episode! We promise this ConvoCast will actually be the last one on the Enneagram (at least for a good while). We wanted to tie a bow on this series by bringing back Ben, who helped kick off this series on YOBcast 095, talking with somebody who doesn't identify as one particular Enneagram type but with multiple...

We conclude these Head Triad episodes, along with our entire Enneagram ConvoCast series with our brother from across the pond, Daniel! Daniel shares his motivations, fears, stress, and security as a Type Seven (the Enthusiast). As a member of our YOB community, how does his Seven-ness manifest in the realms of sexuality, masculinity, and relating with other men? Daniel remembers the first time he...

We continue the Head Triad portion of our Enneagram ConvoCast series with YOBcast regular, Aaron! Aaron shares his motivations, fears, stress, and security as a Type Six (the Loyalist or Skeptic). As a member of our YOB community, how does his Six-ness manifest in the realms of sexuality, masculinity, and relating with other men? Aaron discusses the anxiety surrounding his sexuality through the ye...

We open the Head Triad portion of our Enneagram ConvoCast series with YOBcast regular, Will! Will shares his motivations, fears, stress, and security as a Type Five (the Investigator or Intellectualist). As a member of our YOB community, how does his Five-ness manifest in the realms of sexuality, masculinity, and relating with other men? Fives are heady types, supreme thinkers and philosophers, as...

We conclude the Heart Triad portion of our Enneagram ConvoCast series with a returning guest and member of our community, Alex! Both Alex and Tom share their motivations, fears, stress, and security as a Type Four (the Individualist or Romantic). As members of our YOB community, how does their Four-ness manifest in the realms of sexuality, masculinity, and relating with other men? Tom and Alex dis...

We continue our Enneagram ConvoCast series with another beloved member of our community, Adam (later known as Dawson in future episode appearances). Dawson shares with Tom his motivations, fears, stress, and security as a Type Three (the Achiever or Performer). As a member of our YOB community, how does his Three-ness manifest in the realms of sexuality, masculinity, and relating with other men? D...

Wes makes his podcasting debut as a longstanding Enneagram Two in our community! He shares with Tom his motivations, fears, stress, and security as a Type Two (the Giver or Helper). How does Wes's Two-ness manifest in the realms of sexuality, masculinity, and relating with other men? Since so much of the Two's identity is tied to other people, we dive into this realm of "relating with other men" m...

Jesse, an Enneagram One, shares with Tom his motivations, fears, stress, and security as the Perfectionist or Reformer. As a member of our YOB community, how does his One-ness manifest in the realms of sexuality, masculinity, and relating with other men? Jesse discusses his inclination to order and perfection and how that has translated to a need to "clean up" before God, particularly with his sex...

We continue our Enneagram ConvoCast series with Mr. Nine and longtime cohost of the YOBcast: Ryan! Ryan shares with Tom his motivations, fears, stress, and security as a Type Nine (the Peacemaker). As a member of our YOB community, how does his Nine-ness manifest in the realms of sexuality, masculinity, and relating with other men? Ryan compares himself to how Julia Roberts orders eggs in Runaway...

We kick off our Enneagram ConvoCast series with Mr. Eight himself: Matthew! Matthew shares with Tom about his motivations, fears, stress, and security as a Type Eight (the Challenger). As a member of our YOB community, how does his Eight-ness manifest in the realms of sexuality, masculinity, and relating with other men? Matthew shares why he often feels separate from members of the LGBT+ community...

We’ve referenced it again and again for dozens of episodes, and now we’re finally devoting an entire episode to the Enneagram! We open up the Enneagram box and share what we’ve found helpful for our personal growth in this trendy personality system. How does the Enneagram impact our self-awareness? And how does this self-awareness impact our view of others? Join Tom, Ryan, and Ben for an overview...

It’s the sequel to Advent & Sexuality that nobody asked for! But here we are talking about Lent, this broader concept of sacrifice, and how this particular season ties together with our sexuality. Because where else can you get that kind of podcast content? Join Tom and the "Holy Crew" of Pastors Ben and Will for a discussion on the Lenten season in our last podcast before our virtual retreat...

We've been blogging and podcasting a lot lately about gay characters or themes in various shows, films, and other media. Should we as Jesus-followers who may also identify as LGBT+ but also follow a traditional sexual ethic be consuming LGBT+ media? What are the potential benefits and costs, and where is the line between what is beneficial, acceptable, distracting, or harmful? How do we interact,...

Tom welcomes YOBBER Alex to bask in the Hulu show Love, Victor, which follows the events of the movie Love, Simon. Alex shares why he loves this show so much, including the racial dynamic with Victor as a half-Puerto Rican, half-Columbian guy and himself as half-Thai. They also discuss one particular episode of the show that features Simon’s LGBT+ community in New York. Couldn’t churches learn fro...

Tom welcomes back YOB’s film aficionado Eugene to discuss a recent community favorite: Pixar’s Luca! We cut right to the chase with this film: is there anything gay about it? Are either, or both, of the main characters gay? How does our sexuality influence the way we watch this film? Will there be a Luca 2? Do we want a sequel? If we get one, how open are we to exploring Luca and Alberto’s sexuali...

Many gay/SSA folks experience a delayed or "second adolescence" in adulthood after keeping our sexuality secret in our first adolescence when we unconsciously adapted to the heteronormative culture around us. When we finally do find safe masculine circles, whether within YOB or elsewhere, conversational topics like sex or masturbation, or shared male experiences like nudity and cuddling hold great...

Tom welcomes back his younger brother, Andy, for a little “Super Bowl 101” for our potentially football-illiterate audience! If you’re going to any Super Bowl parties for the socializing, food, commercials, halftime show, or essentially everything but the actual game, Andy gives you a few stories to look out for to keep your interest. The brothers predict the winner and vastly disagree on who you...

Do you ever see some of yourself in a character from a book, movie, or TV show? Why is that important? And why is it particularly important to feel represented with our sexuality? When have we found relatable, satisfying LGBT+ characters, if ever, and when have certain characters left us with longing? Is there any hope for a compelling, mostly satisfying “Side B” gay representation in media? Join...

Tom welcomes back Marshall to catch us up on his pandemic-induced overworked, yet puppy-filled life on the farm! He shares what he's always enjoyed about our YOBBERS retreats and gives some context to his "bought the field" Xanga blog username of yesteryear. Finally, Marshall shares about one of his longtime single friends, now dating a girl, and the joy he finds as a "friend of the bridegroom." L...