You Are Not Crazy (Patreon Exclusive Podcast)

This episode is a reframe. If you have already learned what a trauma bond is and how it forms, this is not that episode. This is about the specific pain of healing from one, and why that pain is so often misread as grief when it is actually withdrawal. I walk through the difference between grieving something real and healthy versus craving a chemical response your nervous system was conditioned to...

In this episode, I return to the angry daughter — but this time, I look at what happens when she tries to love someone. The survival skills that kept her intact in her family of origin are the same ones that quietly work against her in relationships. She over-functions. She holds everything together. She mistakes someone's performed pain for depth, and she chases validation in ways she can't alway...

In this episode, I reflect on what it actually means to be the angry daughter — the scapegoat, the truth-teller, the one who names what others refuse to see. Drawing from my own childhood and my experience as a mother, I trace the way systems assign their tension to one person, teach her not to trust herself, and then use her exhaustion against her. This episode is for anyone who has ever been tol...

This month's Q&A episode covers three listener questions that get to the heart of what recovery actually requires. First, I explore whether trauma bonds in adult relationships are rooted in our earliest relational wounds with parents. The connection is real, but it is not the whole story, and understanding what your nervous system learned to call love can be enormously clarifying. Second, I an...

This episode is dropping here first before it goes out to the general feed. If you have been around for a while, you may remember the original BPD episode — it is one of the most listened-to things I have ever put out, and I have wanted to come back to it for a long time. Two more years of client work, my own processing, and graduate coursework later, I felt like the conversation deserved more dep...

You’ve probably heard of the DSM—the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It’s often treated like the authority on what’s “wrong” with people. It’s where diagnoses like anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD, and personality disorders are defined and categorized. In this episode, I’m breaking down what the DSM actually is—and what it isn’t. These diagnoses are not based on clear biologi...

In this episode, I break down one of the most confusing realities survivors face: something can feel deeply real and still be unsafe. We explore the difference between emotional intensity and emotional depth, and why relationships involving coercive control, gaslighting, and intermittent reinforcement create powerful bonds that are not built on secure attachment. I answer listener questions, inclu...

There's a difference between someone naming a pattern to seek resolution and someone digging up the past to dodge accountability. If you've ever tried to address what's not working in your relationship and ended up defending yourself instead, this episode is for you. We talk about what healthy accountability actually looks like — and how to recognize when someone is rewriting history to keep you s...

This month’s Patreon episode dives into a theme that kept surfacing in your questions: When does mental illness explain behavior… and when does it become an excuse? Before answering your submissions, I break down what we actually mean when we talk about pathological abuse — repeated patterns rooted in personality structure, not just “a bad fight” or poor communication. We explore coercive control,...

This is the December Patreon Q&A episode. Thank you for being here, and especially to those of you who are new. In this episode, I answer a series of listener questions that all circle the same core theme: healing after emotional abuse while you’re still trying to make sense of what happened. We talk about: Why you start doubting yourself when they suddenly seem calm, kind, or “normal” Why tho...

I’m breaking down one of the most misunderstood phases of the cycle of abuse: reconciliation —the moment that looks like healing but is actually another form of manipulation. So many survivors tell me, “But things feel good again… maybe this time it’s different.” And then they blame themselves when the peace collapses. This episode explains why. We go into: • Why reconciliation often feels like re...

I break down one of the most confusing dynamics survivors face: performative self-improvement — when an abusive partner claims they’re “doing the work” but nothing actually changes. This episode explores why therapy-speak, journaling, emotional disclosures, and “I’m working on myself” language often become tools of manipulation rather than tools of transformation. I unpack the difference between r...

This is an early-release episode of You Are Not Crazy —it will be available on the public podcast feed in a few months. If you're listening here first, thank you for being part of my inner circle. In this episode, we explore one of the most common things survivors say to me when they first reach out: “I feel confused. I feel controlled. I don’t know if I’m trying to make your content fit my situat...