Year One of Grief

Life without Pam is certainly not as much fun, but at the same time it's days like today I know she is so much better off and in some respects I'm jealous she got to escape this earth. Want to hear more? Why not give this episode a listen!

We all carry burdens from our past. At times it can feel overwhelming and like there is no future. But, I'm learning there is hope beyond the present and past. Is it easy? No...but I do have some ideas on moving forward.

Often times we talk about waves of grief that can hit at some of the most unexpected times. However, there are also times when a wave of happiness moves over us. For me, I had one of each in the same day. Looking back, the good wave easily beat out the bad wave.

I have never been a patient person. Waiting is incredibly hard, especially when it comes to things we want now and like a kid we don't want to wait. However, I'm learning that being patient is a great gift and I'm getting better at it, compliments of my sweet wife Pam.

In today's program we tackle the question of how year 2 of loss is different from year 1. For many it can be more of a struggle while for others they may have found their new direction. How about you? How about me?

It's hard to believe but it looks like our world will never be what it was just a short two years ago. Each and every day the war of words continues as society disagrees over mandates, vaccines and masks. Will it ever end? And should we really care? 

I meet a lot of interesting people and the past few days were no exception. These encounters continue to give me hope that God has something great planned for my future. In today's program I talk about empty feelings and how those are quickly transformed into feelings of hope thru chance encounters with some amazing people.

I miss my sweet Pam so much these days. However, I find myself not crying as much because as this world continues down some dark paths I'm happy she is not here to see it. Knowing she is in a far greater place provides me with comfort knowing I too will be there with her someday.

Ever have a big decision to make? Of course you have. We all have. But...when we've lost someone special in our life making decisions can become especially difficult. So what do you do? That's the topic of today's podcast. Enjoy!

It's strange what can trigger memories which lead to emotions we would not have connected with the memory. A prime example happened to me in a hotel parking lot along with a sweet message from an old time Baptist preacher on the radio.

One of the things that hurts the most about loss can be losing the simple things you and your loved one enjoyed together. For Pam and I we would act little school kids when it came to going to Trader Joe's. And that's part of my podcast today and how something so simple could drive me to tears.

No matter what your loss, we often have days where we can get caught up in anxiety. For me, I never knew what it was until I lost my sweet wife and best friends of over 30 years. However, as I continue to adjust to life without Pam I have found ways to deal with anxiety.

I've worked in the public eye for my entire adult life and dealt with all types of people. However, today I let someone get under my skin before realizing I need to forgive them. 

Whether it's cleaning someone's house or doing a late night food delivery, joy can be found in all things. However, it takes a bit of work in changing how our mind thinks of some tasks. For me, today was filled with reminders from my sweet Pam on how to always look for he can help others and not focus so much on ourselves.

Patience is not one of my strongest areas. However, as I continue my grief journey I'm finding patience is very important as I look for the next step in life.

I was very close to having a pity party today as I try and figure out my career and life path. But then I remembered my takeaway from church Sunday to focus on blessings as much as possible. In today's message I offer some tips on how to combat the urge to have a pity party.

We talk a lot about loss on this show and now I'm dealing with a new type of loss. One that involves something pretty important. I need to find a way to make a living because I no longer have a full time paying job with benefits. However, I'm also having to learn patience. All part of this podcast.

Call me crazy, but I quit a 6 figure job today and believe it helped me learn a great life lesson and how to live in the wake of loss.

When it comes to holidays and dealing with loss we often focus on the Big 3. Christmas, New Years and Christmas. But what about the rest?

Another holiday weekend is around the corner and for those that have experienced loss it can provide some challenges. However, there is hope and maybe today's love letter will help you in some way.

For 37 years I had my best friend, wife and lover Pam at my side to help make decisions. Ever since she went to heaven in the fall of 2019 I'm left to make decisions on my own. It's really tough and today I made a huge career decision that I pray was the right one. If Pam had been here I do know I would have made the opposite decision because I know she would have encouraged me to do what I ended...

When it comes to making big decisions these days that's where I really miss my sweet Pam. We were a team and made decisions as a team. That's why when it comes to something big I decide to phone a friend!

Dreaming about Drew Barrymore, working in the art gallery and meeting other widows and widowers.

Looking for an uplifting message? This may not be the one for you because honestly, I'm just plain frustrated with my situation and I needed to vent.

Just when we think we have it tough, along comes someone that has also experienced terrible loss and as bad as it may sound, we gain comfort knowing we are not alone in walking thru tragedy. This story as well as how the movie A River Runs Thru It played a part in my day.