X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships

Yes, we're talking about flirting...and flirting should indeed be fun. If it's work, drudgery, or even creepy and weird then we're not doing it right. Since women love fun, that means they also love to flirt. So what IS flirting really, anyway? And given the stereotype that sex slows down (or stops) after marriage, is it really flirting that stopped first? How is it that couples who actually like...

Since our last episode, Emily and I celebrated 20 years together. Over the course of two decades, we've realized there are seasons to a marriage. Now obviously, most couples would hope for an endless springtime rather than the winter of their discontent, but what we're talking about here isn't quite so literal. It's not just that things change both in the marriage and around you. That's inevitable...

Well, here's the first thing you can figure out, just from the title: Emily and I are obviously not disappointed enough in each other to avoid such a touchy topic. BUT...maybe that's a clue why this relational disappointment thing never gets talked about much. So what are we actually covering here? I mean, isn't it unrealistic to get into a relationship thinking everything is always going to be pe...

Here comes a long-overdue conversation on how pets affect relationships between men and women. As you might have already imagined, this went in probably every direction you could think of and then some...starting with Emily's thoughts on how men who have cats are p*ssies. Yeah, well...is that always the case? Isn't there such thing as a masculine pet cat? Should men be 'dog people' instead if they...

Maybe Emily and I waited almost 20 years to cover this subject because it's a touchy one that hits just a little too close to home for both of us. But hey, it's an important one. How do you deal with your ex...especially if you're now in a new relationship? Check it out, there are at least three categories of ex that could still theoretically be haunting your life after a breakup or divorce. And y...

Nowadays we live in a culture that extols selfhood and immediate gratification. As marriage becomes less revered as an institution, lots of people are asking if there's really any reason to hold off from having sex extremely early in the relationship...even on the same day they meet. I mean, if that's what both of you want, why not? But as we all know, life has a way of throwing complications at y...

Last week we covered how dating and relating between men and women has evolved over the past quarter century. But what about the next 25 years...and indeed the rest of this century coming up? What's going on with gender politics? Are people finally sick of it? Will we be able to define "man" and "woman" again? Is Masculinity back? Will women start prioritizing motherhood over Hofstedian societal g...

Exactly 25 years and one week ago, everyone's attention was on whether or not the dreaded Y2K bug was going to crash the world's computer systems and make planes fall out of the sky. And even as we partied like it was 1999, nobody's nose was buried in their smartphone because those hadn't come out yet. People weren't even texting each other. After all, if on the off chance you had texting on your...

Okay, I'm going to admit right up front that Emily and I obviously believe relationships are worth getting into, since we've shared a great one together for almost 19 years. But we also completely get that YOU might not be like US. In this episode we acknowledge all the legit reasons why perfectly good, decent and sane people might just swear off getting into any kind of relationship at all with M...

In this episode Emily and I address the sticky topic of dealbreakers in a relationship. Is having too many dealbreakers--or focusing on them--a dealbreaker in and of itself? You know, the 'don't bother' chick, for example? Is being 'high maintenance' a dealbreaker? And if so, what does that even mean? On the other hand, should not having any dealbreakers be a dealbreaker? Next, we list a full lita...

First and foremost, if you think even for a second that this episode is going to be about two dinosaurs reminiscing about the past, you're in for a surprise. Given that we've been totally immersed in dating and relationship stuff for nearly 20 years, we've had our fingers on the pulse of how men and women relate for a LONG time. On top of that, with a milestone high school reunion coming up this y...

Lots of dating and relationship advice talks about how to know when you've finally met the right partner to build a long-term relationship with. And yes, by now we know the basics about attraction, 'chemistry', sexual compatibility, shared values, shared life goals, avoiding 'red flags' and every other success factor we've heard a thousand times. Nevertheless, the divorce rate remains through the...

Finally, here's the full episode on a topic that everyone wonders about. It's no secret that men often want to date younger women. But what is it about those guys who are actually successful at doing so? And is it really true that many amazing young women actually prefer older men? First off, what actually counts as an 'older man' to a younger woman? Does the 'half your age plus seven' rule make a...

If you've been out there dating for any time at all, you've likely compiled your fair share of weird dating stories. It's easy to think that those situations could only happen to you, and you've GOT to be the only one. But guess what? PLENTY of apparent weirdness on first dates is tons more common than you probably guess. This time around Emily and I recount not only a few of our own most bizzaro...

We've all found ourselves out on a date with someone who creeped us out. And no...it's not gender-specific. But what does 'creepy' even mean? Why is it often so hard to define? Well, in this episode we break down exactly what constitutes such infamous creepy behavior...and how it tends to impact men and women differently. Is it possible some people don't even realize they're being creepy? Do other...

Every couple thinks and behaves differently. You've probably thought and behaved differently depending on who your significant other was at a particular time in history. But for sure there are, well...'standards' that tend to rule any polite, public conversation about how men and women typically are when they're a couple, and what's 'normal'. So then, what IS 'normal'? Is there really such a thing...

You hear the term 'power couple' quite a bit, but what exactly does it mean? We know one when we see one, for sure. But is it necessarily a good thing? Would we want to team up with our significant other to BE one? If so, how do we BECOME one? Well, let's first get this out in the open: I'm not sure whether we are indeed a 'power couple' or not, especialy after this conversation...as entertaining...

It seems to everyone paying attention that beautiful women enjoy a massive 'halo effect'. It's like they're treated like celebrities--or even royalty--everywhere they go. But what else is going on there? What's it REALLY like to be a sexy, attractive woman out there in the dating world? Well, in my decidedly un-biased opinion, Emily is exactly the right female human being to offer first-hand persp...

Who knows why this topic hadn't been covered yet around here? My edumckayted guess is it probably had something to do with repressed memories. Yes, Emily and I both are survivors of first marriages affected by profound illness. And yes...we both strongly agree you would be better off avoiding psychotic people in general, especially as romantic partners. But when you get right down to it, that's on...

Let's face it, when single moms and single dads get together, it's pure naive idealism that would cause us to expect we're creating our own Brady Bunch. The reality of blended families is much different. Emily and I have been there ourselves, and have first-hand experience. We know full well it can seem more like being put through a Vita-Mix than a mere blender. But does it have to be such an orde...

As the lyrics of one of Tyler Childers' songs say, 'There is hurt you can cause that time alone cannot heal'. When it comes to our interactions with women, a breathtaking amount of that pain is caused by what we say...or what SHE says. And when we get into a relationship, the stakes get even higher. We get straight to the point in this episode, first addressing the weird childhood refrain that 'st...

No matter how well a couple gets along and navigates their relationship, there always seems to be a challenge to your relationship coming from somewhere. It can start with the best man's TMI speech during the wedding reception. But what about unsolicited advice from miserable people who can't even manage their own relationships? Jealous BFFs and sneaky exes? Baby mamas and baby daddies? How about...

In the second installment of our two-part episode, Emily and I break down the little things couples do (often to each other) that make a relationship suck. To kick things off, we talk about the scene in the movie The Good, The Bad And The Ugly itself that's the best metaphor for how men and women ruin their relationships together. Next, we talk about the importance of realizing that some allegedly...

This is the first of a two-part episode on the little things that either make a relationship great, or make it suck. Sure, you hear about the major pillars like trust, communication, attraction, etc., but this is a deeper dive into the subtle effects certain mindsets and/or actions have. The first order of business is to describe how big mountains are often (maybe even usually) composed of small p...

It's the foundation of every good solid relationship. With it, you and your significant other are set for years of blissful happiness together. Without it, you're likely doomed to failure. We're talking about trust, of course. Emily and I have enjoyed a trusting relationship with each other for nearly sixteen years now, and she finally sat down with me for a deep dive into all aspects of what that...