Worthless Clowns

Brittany gets high on life and Tetris and becomes a dude for the night. Ali smokes weed for the first time, causing Jesus to lose a limb and her mom to go the hospital. A man acts like he’s writing a book, throws a steak at a window then decides to eat dust. For clips and pics, follow the pod on instagram @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Want your stupid story on...

Brittany sees an alien and ectoplasm at the same time, and bonds with her brothers by puking in piles. Ali gets mono, flashes her doctor, and draws her mom with huge knockers. A husband is only asking two things of his wife: for her to knit hats and cease developing mentally. For clips and pics, follow the pod on instagram @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Want yo...

Shane Torres joins us!! We turn into The Korn Pod. Shane is impressed by a bread-throwing child. Brittany tries to hatch chickens with blankets and cure cancer with snot. Ali’s impression of Brittany is Brittany’s impression of Ali. A man tries too hard to answer a “guess what” question and gets punished with reading assignments. Go see Shane live at his special taping!! March 18th at the Sultan R...

THANKSGIVING STORIES IN FEBRUARY! Brittany gets stuck in time then yells at a child. Ali realizes not all Thanksgivings end in fighting over an insect tattoo. Brittany breaks stuff with Fred Durst and the boys. A man morns the loss of his McDonald app points. Ali and Brittany relive childhood coupon trauma. Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at worthlessclownspod@gmail.com For clips and p...

Brittany pretends to ride a horse and ends up moshing hard, alone in a field. If you can’t talk about three very specific things then you will never be friends with Ali. A girl ends up with a scary friend after overlooking obvious clues for several months. Brittany has done this before. Memories of chat roulette, pain olympics, and Simpsons p*rn. For clips and pics, follow the pod on instagram @wo...

This week we have a very special guest—Sean Patton, the Snickers bar of friends! Sean’s bowel movement ends in a super power. Ali’s on a train thinking nobody but Brittany can see all the d*cks in her mouth. A woman dims down her farming abilities for her very secure husband. Follow Sean @mrseanpatton and check out his special, “Number One,” on Peacock! For clips and pics, follow the pod on instag...

Ali tells us about her dog’s dragging nipples and strategies for chatting up deli men. Brittany thinks telling Hinge dudes about her dad’s Panasonic t-shirt is a way of flirting. A wife has a strange water preference that her husband does not understand. In fear of being cut off, she starts hoarding. For clips and pics, follow the pod on instagram @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and...

After clogging the toilet, Ali is finally able to perform grief for her relatives. The two dudes wearing freaky ass masks on Brittany’s train become fast friends. A male human marks his territory, then blames the cat. For clips and pics, follow the pod on instagram @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Also this week.. Brittany’s recording a joint album with Josh John...

Eitan Levine (our first guest and good friend!!) gets to scream his negative memories of Ted Cruz directly at Ted Cruz, and goes viral for it. Brittany avoids existential dread by making a scrapbook of family trips to Lowe’s Home Improvement. After losing her virginity, Ali interprets burning piss as punishment from on high. For clips and pics, follow the pod on instagram @worthlessclowns, Brittan...

Ali wakes up to an embarrassing Google search and her hands down her pants. Brittany explains her very stupid strategy for avoiding doing something dumb while she dies in a plane crash. A man who hates his wife’s poor grammar decides to fix it by cyberbullying her from multiple accounts. For clips and pics, follow the pod on instagram @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalio...

Brittany and Ali are in New Orleans for a comic wedding! A swamp tour guide barely talks about the bayou and instead tells us his very personal and devastating memories. Ali curls her hair for four hours and starts snapping at everyone she loves. Brittany fucked up her three chances to be in the movie What We Do In the Shadows. A dude’s sex playlist contains a regrettable song. For clips and pics,...