We Need To Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling

Gaslighting is often framed as a one-way act or behavior—someone manipulates, and the other is manipulated. But in reality, gaslighting is a relational dynamic. Its "success" hinges not only on the manipulator’s actions but also on the recipient's openness to self-doubt and questioning their own perceptions. Certain traits make people more vulnerable to gaslighting. These qualities often lead the...

It’s January, and everyone’s still buzzing about their New Year’s resolutions—promises to hit the gym, eat healthier, or finally start dating with intention. But the reality is, by mid-February, nearly 80% of those resolutions are abandoned. Why? Because willpower alone can’t outmuscle unresolved emotional wounds. The patterns you can’t seem to break—the procrastination, the self-sabotage, the ove...

Normally, I ask the questions, but this time, it’s your turn.  To be honest, I’ve avoided doing an Ask Me Anything episode because I feel like I talk about myself too much. But my team voted and I was outnumbered. So, here we are—your questions, unfiltered, and my honest answers. From relationship advice to podcast behind-the-scenes, no topic was off-limits. And I’ve recruited someone very special...

Talking about sex is one of the hardest conversations to have. It’s clumsy, it’s awkward, and for some, it’s completely off-limits. Research shows that only 2 out of 3 long-term partners know what their partner enjoys sexually, and just 1 in 4 knows what their partner dislikes. Why is it so hard to talk about something so fundamental to intimacy? And how could our relationships transform if we lea...

Anxiety is the most prevalent mental health condition in the United States, affecting 1 in 3 of us at some point in our life. For many, it’s an all-consuming cycle of worry and fear that can upend careers, relationships, and the ability to perform basic daily tasks.  But what if anxiety isn’t an inevitable part of modern life? I sat down with Dr. Jud Brewer, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist whose...

Choosing when to share your past—and deciding how much to share—is one of the trickiest balancing acts in relationships. Whether it’s with a romantic partner, a friend, or even a colleague, the decision to open up can feel overwhelming. In today’s episode, we’re diving into the delicate art of disclosure—learning when and how to share your personal stories so they don’t become burdensome secrets. ...

For many women, sexual desire isn’t always spontaneous or readily available—it’s something that ebbs and flows, influenced by factors like stress , fatigue , and emotional connection with a partner. Yet, our culture promotes the idea that great sex must be spontaneous, passionate, and frequent, leaving many women feeling like they’re broken when they experience a lull in their desire. But what if...

We've all been there—stuck in a relationship where red flags are hard to ignore, yet we find ways to dismiss them. We tell ourselves things will change, that it’s just a rough patch. But while we’re busy justifying, friends and family can see the reality far more clearly. Why are we often the last to recognize toxic patterns or to accept when a relationship has reached its limit? What keeps us hol...

Our early experiences with our caregivers creates a blueprint that influences how we trust, connect, and build relationships in adulthood. We call that blueprint our attachment style. And to keep it simple, that style will either be secure (ideally) or insecure (more likely).  If you suspect or know that you have an insecure attachment style, don’t lose hope—healing is possible. And it often happe...

There is nothing quite like the feeling you get when your new relationship becomes official. That shift from casual dating into knowing that you and your partner are truly becoming a committed team. You develop relationship rituals for when you see each other, and you’re beginning to create a framework for navigating life together. For so many people, it’s simultaneously grounding and intoxicating...

I have often fantasized that there should be a place where you can go for a week to heal from the devastating loss of a breakup. A place where people are trained to understand what you’re going through and what you need, because let’s face it—most of us don’t know what we need in those moments. But what if someone did? Today’s guest is Ginger Dean, a therapist who specializes in breakup recovery a...

Dating in the digital age is a completely different game than it used to be. Swiping left and right, ghosting, breadcrumbing, and situationships have all become part of the millennial love landscape. But with so many choices, why does it feel like finding a meaningful connection has become even more difficult? Today I’m joined by Lindsey Metselaar, host of the podcast, “We Met At Acme,” where she...

School shootings have become part of the national dialogue in America, with much of the focus on weapons and security measures. But today I want to shift the lens in this conversation to something that doesn’t get nearly enough attention: Childhood trauma, and how it connects to the mental health crisis underlying these violent acts. Today, we’re going to examine the long-term effects of childhood...

In a world where access to explicit content is just a click away, pornography has become a significant part of our sexual landscape. For some, it’s a tool for exploring curiosity. For others, the mere thought of their partner viewing porn crosses the line of infidelity. But no matter where you stand, there’s no denying that porn has the power to shape our understanding of sex, our desires, and how...

Tiffany Pollard is a woman whose name has become synonymous with reality TV Royalty. She burst onto our screens with a big personality and an even bigger heart on Flavor of Love and has since become an icon in the reality television world.  I had the pleasure of working with her on Famously Single , where I taught her dating and relationship skills, but she’s also about to hit your screens in...

Being a therapist wasn’t my dream job. Being a dancer was. But I came to dance late — just before my 18th birthday — ancient by dance standards. Still, I was determined and auditioned to be a dance major in college. Dance training shaped me more as a person than as a dancer. Dance taught me discipline, perseverance, and the ability to tolerate failure. From the beginning, I knew I had to work twic...

In an era defined by globalization and digital connection, long distance relationships have become increasingly common, but no less challenging.   From managing loneliness and navigating intimacy, to the inevitable communication hurdles that come from having different time zones and schedules, long distance relationships make the usual relationship hurdles seem quaint.  That said, LDR’s...

Today we’re tackling a topic that is often shrouded in secrecy and misunderstanding: How to be an ethical fuck buddy.   Navigating the friends-with-benefits terrain can be tricky. How do you ensure everyone’s on the same page? How do you set boundaries that protect the friendship while still enjoying the benefits? And most importantly, how do you engage in this kind of relationship with...

The modern marriage ideal suggests that we find a partner to help us become our best selves. But we also want a partner to make us feel loved, safe and secure — and that means accepting the current version of us. The person we are today.  To help us become tomorrow’s version, we place a partner in a double bind where they have to acknowledge a difference between today’s version and the versio...

The threads that bind us to our families have begun to feel optional in recent years.  And in our culture of social media — where anyone with a phone can proclaim themselves to be an expert on subjects that they have no training or qualifications in — influencers are everywhere, some of them encouraging followers to end what they deem to be toxic relationships, or to break unhealthy cycles, o...

The early stage of a new relationship is like nothing else. The excitement, the intense physical attraction, the space they take up in your mind — it can be all consuming.  A new relationship is a high you can’t find in a drug.   Because of that, new partners can struggle to pace themselves — to slow their roll — so they don’t burn through those early months.  Which is why paci...

Painful sex?  Torturous periods? PMS that makes you feel like you should be wrapped in yellow caution tape? This episode is PACKED with answers to your HORMONE questions, and all the other “lady-problems” that women are shamed into silence about.  In this conversation with TikTok sensation Dr. Karen Tang, you’ll learn:   If birth control causes long-term hormonal imbalances. How much period pain i...

One of the hottest topics in mental health is attachment theory, which is a psychological framework that posits that the way we bond to our primary caregivers creates a template for how we’ll move through relationships as adults. It goes like this:  We learn how to love and how to get our needs met through the care we received from our primary caregivers. The extent to which they fulfill...

We all know someone who manages to avoid fully committing to a relationship, either because we’ve dated them, or someone we love has.   They may say they’re committed to you — they may even identify as being in a relationship — but there are things they Do or Don’t Do that leave you feeling like you’re standing on a house of cards:  You don’t feel fully integrated into each other’s...

It’s one of the most common questions people have about mental health:  How do I know if I need therapy? How do you know if your problems are “normal” or if it’s time to call in a pro? In this episode, we answer questions like: What’s the difference between a sad day and a red flag for therapy? How do I know if I’m leaning too much on my friends?  Is medication without therapy a real thing? And if...