Warped

No legal argument or political debate in the history of mankind has been as contentious or impassioned as this week's game of FMK, especially since all women seem a little like Betazoids to Philippe. It's true, guys with C-Section scars can be a bit off-putting, but so can babyface Frakes. Erin is ushered in to the modern age of vulgar stuff on the internet. Dr. Crusher knows better, but when you...

An epic finale deserves an epic recap. And so Matt, Shawn, and Minh hitch up their Moscow Mules one last time to go even deeper Inside Picard than any one has dared go before. We send affirmations to our audience that all their various opinions are completely valid and we just hope that you and your loved ones are able to stay safe and be well in these trying times. Minh has some delicious beverag...

The Warped crew returns for the exciting two-part kickoff to Star Trek: The Next Generation. We're relieved to find out that Erin is sufficiently entertained by this new iteration of the sci-fi saga and has no immediate plans to leave the show. Plus, as a bonus, she gives us a review of the latest series of Forensic Files. LeVar Burton does what he does best by making a new friend and winning over...

In the penultimate episode of Inside Picard's first season, we wax lexicographical and think back on our own time in Arcadia. Matt has some very hot takes when it comes to the writing for this episode, so take appropriate burn precautions. People's feelings towards Jean-Luc turn from undisguised hatred to outright betrayal, and we respond in kind. Our recap may not be as good as some episodes of I...

The Warped crew emerges from FTL and finally arrives at the good stuff. Witness our very first commentary of Star Trek: The Next Generation. We recall the days of being young and innocent, when we thought The Animated Series was going to be our deliverance. Ah, the halcyon days of yesteryear. While building a bridge between generations, we manage to prove our value as Trek lore educators. Who mour...

Amid pandemic fears and social distancing, the Warped crew's very own Unholy Triumvirate once again convene to recap the latest episode of Star Trek: Picard. The episode is "Broken Pieces" and it, being a truly excellent piece of streaming television, prompts us to navigate the murky waters of our collective podcasting psyche. In a moment of clarity, a shimmering fragment of eternity is glimpsed f...

It's two guys, a girl, and pizza in space! And we would watch that for as long as the good people in the TV are willing to show it to us. Despite all our cumulative Trek knowledge, we still must ask the question, "Can a Romulan do a mind meld-type thingy?" Elnor confirms his status as future death Roomba. The cry count goes way up on this one, and our discussion is so in-depth that we hit upon the...

Do androids dream of positronic sheep? This week on Inside Picard we delve into Soji's created memories, and create a few memories of our own. Shawn breaks form and jumps around almost as much as the show's flashback narrative structure. Matt out-cries everyone on the crew, breaking Shawn's winning streak. This week's Digression Corner gives us a peak at an impossible burger and an unrelated paras...

Superstar podcaster Matt is guesting on so many shows, he isn't sure which show he's on anymore. Just remember that we knew him when. The crew makes preparations to move into a convention hall bathroom. Jake swings by with a rock-solid cosplay idea. The old Bruce Maddox is doing just fine, so don't worry. The new Bruce Maddox on the other hand? Totally different story. Minh continues his saga of o...

Jonathan Frakes directs an episode of Picard, and everyone likes that. Space elves reach a new level of sexy with the Orlando Bloom of the Romulan set. Warrior nuns show how to give everyone the business and pass it off as an act of piety. We have some irreconcilable differences with the inconsistent representation of the economy of the future. Minh gives us some room for creative expression, and...

The Warped crew engages some advanced telecommunications tech to host an entirely remote recording of Inside Picard. This is a big adjustment, so we take off some clothes to make our listening audience a little more comfortable. We give Jean-Luc a new theme song, and make a very important clarification between Hugh and Q. Ya know, for the hardcore fans. Now that we're actually talking about a mode...

We're back on the wrong side of the tracks to discuss Picard's second episode. We hope you're a fan of secret Romulan organizations, because HOO BOY! We're going to get through all this exposition together and totally recall all the important names with no problems whatsoever. And remember: if you need us, you can find us dancing down at the Borg Cloob. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for m...

At long last! What the world has been waiting for! From the disturbed minds behind WARPED comes INSIDE PICARD, a Star Trek: Picard recap show! Are we two weeks late? (We are.) Has every other Star Trek podcast on the internet already done this? (They have.) But we've never let that stop us before so why start now?  Join Shawn and Matt as they recap and review Star Trek: Picard episode 1! Marv...

The Stanford Prison Experiment takes podcast form as the Warped crew descends into a madness that can only be achieved by willingly subjecting oneself to the second half of Flowers in the Attic (1987). To keep the voices at bay, we spoil the rabbit and accidentally reveal how Minh is getting shafted. We talk about who dresses as what when it's time for our Twin Peaks cosplay. Poor "the America"......

There's a noticeable lack of Flowers in the Attic-related podcast content available on the internet, and we at Warped are doing our part to fill in the gaps. As we plan our spin-off show, "Murder, They Watched", we ponder how one should Google the dark web and the quantity of lashes one should receive for messing around with your half-uncle. Our meandering discourse takes us on a journey from Once...

The excitement is palpable as we reach the end of Star Trek: The Animated Series. Our special guest Kylie returns to the show, and we immediately ask her about alien genitalia. We pour out an extensive amount of beverage for those we have lost this year; the list is long and our sorrow runs deep. Matt bares his soul while revisiting the trauma of losing on Jeopardy. Corrections Corner takes us int...

All hands are at battle stations! Warped is back to its full complement of expendable redshirts. As we round the home stretch on Star Trek: The Animated Series, a new special guest joins the show, and despite the excitement of our reunion we let her get a word in from time to time. Ugly is such an ugly word, but when you look upon square-shaped alien nostrils, you will truly know what it is to gaz...

Matt, Shawn, and Jake continue their own private rumspringa with some serious complaints about the muddling of alien names in Star Trek. We're taking the opportunity to catch up on our latest Warped Recommendations (and Warped Things to Avoid). Matt looks back at his favorite films of the decade. We begin our inevitable transition into a much more marketable True Crime / Star Trek hybrid podcast....

Warped is down to a skeleton crew of deck swabbers while everyone else is off on shore leave. Shawn, Matt, and Jake miss having the extra bodies around to validate their quips with laughter. We throw things together at the last minute as an homage to the recent televised production of The Little Mermaid Live, and we share our thoughts on the recent spate of live TV musicals. Matt talks about being...

Is it Amber-GRISS? Amber-GREE? Some pronunciation issues get things off to a rocky start. When you mansplain to a man, that's just called being a dick, so, instead, let's talk about the movie sequels that pick up right where the previous title left off. Whale spunk was hot at Matt's high school. Minh checks the box on his signature inappropriate question of the week by turning his all-seeing eye o...

Looking back on the history of the show, this will be remembered as "The One Where Jake Gave Matt the Sound Board He Had Constantly Been Requesting". Erin drizzles some plant butter on everyone, and Minh is discombobulated by his kryptonite, tomato juice. Philippe refuses to self-affirm in public, even if he does have a hankering for some seitan.  Minh emerges from the comfort of his crevasse...

As we delve further into Bones' bedroom behaviors, our everyday lives start to devolve into meme theater, and Shawn inadvertently spawns a new segment of the show where he performs an assistive listening version of common gifs. Minh tanks his audition for Plant Creature #2. Corrections Corner takes us on a trip down Special Guest first appearance memory lane. Whatever you do, don't drink soda whil...

We're busting open a bottle of Boone's Farm, because when the director is colorblind and the Klingon sounds vaguely Scottish, you might as well toss back a few. We have trouble hearing each other over the deafening sound of the sun, and then decide to take a break from meat to give Paula Abdul the props she deserves. Stay tuned, she may drop by the studio later. There's a bit of difficulty startin...

The crew is waiting to exhale, because while they carry the whole universe in their pockets, they still feel dead inside. Wow! That was a heavy opener to this week's description. Let's lighten up a bit! Santa Claus! Good, now we can talk about how we'll pioneer sexual escapades with many-armed and legged aliens. Star Trek Cats are poised to throw Jake out of his formerly cast-iron placement as fav...

While Jake is off getting pooched by Marc Maron, the crew kicks off their adventure into the far reaches of Star Trek: The Animated Series. The crew keeps trying to ruin Scooby-Doo for Erin, and everything is ruined by the flowering of a certain sexual tree. The whole animation business gets us wondering about Botox and using the power of science to reverse the aging process. Much like the listene...