Waking Up to Narcissism

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve...holidays take on an entirely different meaning in a narcissistic family system. Trauma expert Shannon Thomas said it best "In healthy families, you're just yourself – your name, your talents, your strengths, and weaknesses. You're the person. But in a narcissistic family, things are different. Everybody has to find somewhere to be and a job to do within th...

A growing body of research now shows how long-term narcissistic abuse affects the hippocampus and the amygdala of the brain, areas that regulate memory and control emotion. And while someone may not be your classic, malicious or malignant narcissist (there are several sub-types of narcissism), even someone with narcissistic tendencies, traits, or "dustings" can do emotional and physical damage to...

People in relationships with narcissists often find themselves in a constate state of “reading the room” or “walking on eggshells” in hopes of navigating the large number of hidden, emotional landmines. But one wrong step and a landmine explodes, leaving a trail of destruction to the self-esteem of the narcissist’s victims. Today Tony sheds light on the reasons behind the black or white, all or no...

Tony Overbay LMFT shares an example of gaslighting that led to setting a healthy boundary. Tony then tackles the topic of boundaries. What are healthy boundaries, and why are they so difficult to enforce? Tony refers to Kier Brady LMFT's article "5 Type of Boundaries For Your Relationship," http://www.keirbradycounseling.com/relationship-boundaries/ as well as Dr. Robert Glover's information on bo...

Narcissistic tendencies or traits can come in many different forms and levels of severity, while as a mental health condition, there is currently only one diagnosis. Tony tackles the question of whether or not we use the label of narcissism too broadly, and if we spoke more about what narcissistic traits and tendencies looked like in our everyday lives, would more people be able to take ownership...

One of the most frustrating things after "Waking up to Narcissism" is trying to explain your relationship struggles to friends, co-workers, or family members who haven't experienced narcissistic forms of abuse (emotional, financial, spiritual, etc.). Many people in these situations find themselves almost wishing their emotional abuser would physically abuse them because "at least people would unde...

Tony tackles the intricacies of the narcissistic trauma bond. For many, the harder you try to find your voice or to separate yourself from the narcissists in your life, the more difficult it becomes, which only makes the bond more challenging to break. Tony references the article "Trauma Bonding - Why You Can't Stop Loving the Narcissist." https://broxtowewomensproject.org.uk/trauma-bonding/

Today we tackle why good people look for reasons their narcissist is acting off rather than accepting the situation for what it may be. Plus, Tony describes four types of gaslighting. Please submit your questions as well as your gaslighting examples through the contact form at http://tonyoverbay.com

Tony gives examples of the narcissistic apology, and he explains "Narcissistic Awareness Grief," a term coined by Dr. Christine Hammond (https://growwithchristine.com/). Tony refers to an excellent article by Diane Metcalf on Narcissistic Awareness Grief https://toolbox.dianemetcalf.com/nag/ Please submit your questions as well as your gaslighting examples through the contact form at http://tonyov...

Tony answers several questions from the first episode and shares how the narcissist comes to be. Tony talks about abandonment and attachment wounds in childhood that may play into the "creation of the narcissist." And how gaslighting originates as a childhood defense mechanism. Plus Tony answers questions about whether more men or women are narcissists plus much more. Please submit your questions,...

Tony discusses 5 survival strategies to help you find solid ground when trying to communicate with a narcissist, or someone expressing narcissistic traits or tendencies. Also, have you been told that you won't let things go, that you like to fight, or that you're not as easy to get along with as you used to be by the narcissist in your life? If so, you may be doing better than you think! Please su...

Waking Up to Narcissism, a podcast by Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, public speaker, and host of The Virtual Couch Podcast, is coming soon! Chances are you’ve been hearing more and more about narcissism over the past few years, and you may have the view that a narcissist is a grandiose, malicious person out for absolute power, that they are completely aware of ever...