Untethering Shame

Join Danielle & I in this powerful conversation where we: Delve into the clutches of sugar addiction and understand how it leaves us feeling ensnared. Explore how our society's acceptance of addictive and avoidant behaviors fuels habits that hinder our progress. Uncover the reasons why your efforts to transform your eating habits might be falling short of your aspirations. Discover the piv...

In this week's solo episode, we are talking about burnout . We are all burnt out -- or running close to the edge of it. And the only way to do anything meaningful about it is to actually get clear on what it is, WHY it shows up and the steps it takes to stop getting caught in the chase to do and be it all. Stay Connected: Don't miss out on future episodes of "Untethering Shame."...

Michelle Terpstra joins me to talk about what makes sales so hard and how we got to a place it feels "sleezy" and "bad" so we can reframe it in a more empowering way. We talked about: What sales is really about The biggest fears we have about sales and where they are rooted to The impact of buyer’s remorse on how we show up in sales The reason you need to make an ask and how th...

Join Emily Bissen and I as we talk about the tension that can exist between the world we are a part of and the world we create for ourselves. Some of the highlights included: The conflict between expansion and shoulds What “more” means in the context of expansion and fulfillment Redefining “limits” within the context of our own lives and wants The inevitable loss that comes with choosing more and...

Let's talk family get-togethers. For many of us, we spend all year dreading them and are constantly on the hunt for an excuse good enough not to attend. We are fixated on what everyone else will do or say and are overwhelmed by the thought of being "in it" for however long we are there but can't seem to shake the story that "we have to" go and "have no choice"...

What a powerful conversation with Deana Tsiapalis trying to dive deeper into understanding chronic pain from a more holistic view. And along the way, I came face to face with just how much my body is trying to connect with me about my own emotional and mental distress. We covered: What chronic pain actually means How our culture views and treats pain and the issues that arise from that The 3 eleme...

Another powerful episode where Tina Hallis joined me to talk about health and the exploration of health as a concept and experience.  We covered: The most important data point in our health & well-being The reason we resist mental health as a tool for treating & healing chronic pain and disease “My head and my heart don’t always agree” The #1 thing we have to stop being afraid of when we t...

One of the hardest things to accept in life is that we can't control everything. In this week's solo episode, learn more about how to do that using the process of Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance is one of the primary skills in dialectical Behavioral Therapy, which is about identifying, grieving and letting go of that which is out of your control and not your responsibility. Resource...

Join Laura and me in discussing heterocissexism as it relates to her story and what she has learned and overcome through this process to make her the therapist she is today. We covered: The inner turmoil born by intersecting identities in conflict with each other The ways labels leave so many displaced The intergenerational transmission of oppressive systems  The domino effect of oppression The in...

Another amazing episode. Katharine is beyond knowledgeable and I am beyond grateful for all of her wisdom. We discussed: That hardest part about feeding our kids The 2 things to let go of when it come to feeding your kids The things you DON’T have to do to be a good parent Why we need to be mindful of our reactions The need to address our own food series, issues and trauma to show up openly with o...

In this week's solo episode, I want to talk about Thanksgiving and the complex questions and considerations behind whether or not to celebrate - and if you do, how - a holiday with such an atrocious history. Resources: “ Fry Bread "; Written by Kevin Noble Maillard, Illustrated by Juana Martinez-Neal “ We Are Grateful " ; Written by Traci Sorell, Illustrated by Frame Lessac " We...

Another powerful episode diving deep into the stories and norms we have about sex and ourselves as a sexual being and what it looks like to change the story*. We discussed: Permission to embrace oneself as a sexual being Importance of discussing sex with providers Balancing motherhood with sexuality Acceptance of being a work in progress How societal biases lead to silent suffering Avoiding avoida...

What a powerful episode where we explored so many different nuances and thoughts surrounding the adoptee experience. Some of the key pieces included: The different perspectives and experiences of adoption The power behind a child's story start point and why we need to consider more than the idea of them being "saved" or their life starting with adoption The role shame plays for the a...

In this week's solo episode, we are coming back to the concept of core beliefs learning about our innermost stories and perceived truths and how they shape the way we show up in the world and act as the fuel source for our shame. Stay Connected: Don't miss out on future episodes of "Untethering Shame." Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a r...

Happy birthday to me — a second release for this week! And WOW is it fantastic. I am so grateful to have met Mike Iamele and for him to be able to share his story and work with all of you.  Here are some of my key takeaways from this episode: The fluidity of labels and what it means to be explore them over time How shame can make us distant ourselves from the greatest sense of security The binds l...

Join Barb & I as we discuss what it's like to change the system and run into hard topics and situations versus walk away. Some of my favorite parts include: What it was like for Barb to make her way in the world as the youngest of 11 children The power of a question in creating change What led Barb to create a Suicide Awareness non-profit with international reach and support How to find fo...

Wow — what a powerful and deep conversation with Steve where we dive deep into his experience as a Nigerian man who immigrated to the US and the experiences we all face trying to sift through expectations, norms, and shame-driven pressures to produce, do, and be successful. Some of the key points we hit on:  The grief in realizing we can’t do and be it all, even when the world seems to expect it f...

Join Jennifer & I in this deeply difficult and important conversation  The power of community in healing from a traumatic loss and why we, as a culture, need to do better about sitting in hard conversations The impact of grief suppression when you are trying to make things easier and lighter for others The importance of listening to and connecting with our bodies during times of loss and traum...

This podcast episode takes us to another layer of understanding the fascinating intersection of the Drama Triangle and shame. We unravel how these two powerful dynamics often intertwine and shape our interactions. Discover how roles like the Hero, Victim, and Villain play into our responses to shame, and how recognizing this dance can lead to healthier communication, self-awareness, and ultimately...

This is a heavy episode glittered with humor where we explore: What it’s like to pursue a dream others don’t see, support or understand The normalization of performance and expectation for Black men rooted in racism and the effect that has on how Tavaris shows up in the world The role comedy has the capacity to play in our lives The biggest challenge Tavaris faces as a comic The importance of sele...

In this short & sweet solo episode, I just want to share one of the ways shame has tried to take over when it comes to the podcast. Namely, it's gotten caught up berating the audio quality of different episodes as some of them are not as high quality as others (you know, the learning gap). It's trying to take away the process of learning and the notion of progress, not perfection. It&#...

Join Victoria and I as we dive deep into the topic of grief, where we cover: What exactly is grief?   The “paper cut effect” of shame and rejection The pressure to be “fine” is a form of psychological protection The criticism trap that keeps us stuck The impact resentment has on our health and well-being How you are keeping yourself in "emotional jail" The most powerful gift you can give...

In this week's solo episode, we delve deep into the intriguing world of interpersonal defenses we employ when confronted with shame. As we navigate the intricate dynamics of how shame shapes our interactions and relationships, we'll uncover the 3 strategies we use to guard ourselves, ultimately gaining insights into how we can foster healthier connections. Stay Connected: Don't miss ou...

Join Zhalarina and I as we talk about religion, race, gender, and sexuality and the impact of these intersecting identities on how we show up in the world. We hit on so many points in our time together, including: The impact of gender norms on non-gender conforming humans How to find yourself in a sea of overlapping systems of oppression How to reconcile when the thing you are trying to protect yo...

Join Paige & I in our discussion on ethical non-monogamy. In this episode, we cover: What exactly is Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) & dispelling the myth that it’s just about having more sex The importance of engaging in enthusiastic ENM The hardest part of ENM for couples Why you're feeling so bad about exploring open relationships My own experiences with internalized homophobia and how I...